Help! My 10 year old pees on the floor!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Amanda2321, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. Amanda2321

    Amanda2321 New Member

    I need some advice and help! My 10 year old son has been potty trained since he was 3 1/2. Within the last 6 months I have noticed that in his bedroom there was poop smeared on the floor and his closet smelled like pee. His dresser is near his closet and the wood started to bubble on the side. I asked my son if he peed in his closet. He blamed it on our dog. Our dog is a female and she’s a small dog so there’s no way she would be hiking her leg to pee on his dresser. I confronted him about the poop smeared on his carpet and he blamed it on the dog again. One evening I saw the poop smears again and demanded he show me his fingers. He had poop around his fingernails and his hand wreaked of poop! I was so disgusted! I made him clean it up but he still insisted it was our dog!! Last night my son slept on the couch. He thought I was upstairs in bed for the night but I had forgotten my phone charger so I went back downstairs. I see him in the living room standing in front of the TV and I heard what sounded like water running. I ran in the living room and sure enough, he was peeing on my carpet! I was so beside myself that I wasn’t sure what to say. I said “are you seriously peeing on my floor!?!?” He let out this awkward laugh and when he saw how mad I was he ran to the kitchen and sat on the floor with his shirt pulled over his face. I explained to him how gross that was and how upset I was with him. The worst part about this is that our bathroom is approximately 10 feet from where he was standing! I asked him if this whole time I was thinking the dog peed on the floor, if it was really him. He wouldn’t answer me. I am so upset/mad/disgusted, I don’t know what to do. He’s a straight A student, has a lot of friends and is very active in sports. I can’t think of anything that would cause him to want to do this. Please help!
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I have no experience or ideas, except maybe to make an appointment with his pediatrician and ask for help, and referrals to appropriate professional care.

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  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome, Amanda

    Take him to the pediatrician. There could possibly be something physical going on, so it would be best to rule out this before moving on.

    If all checks out, get a referral to a counselor. There may be something going on in your son’s life that you don’t know about. Stress at school, bullying, best friend moving, anger about a situation, etc.

    He may stop this behavior when you take him in, rather than be embarrassed in front of the doctor/counselor, especially since you haven’t indicated he has an other behavioral or adjustment problems. I would take him to counseling anyway, just to make sure there is nothing going on that needs to be taken care of.

    Hopefully others will come soon that may have experience with this type of situation.

    Let us know how it goes.

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  4. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Hi Amanda and welcome.

    I echo what the others have said. Bring him to the pediatrician asap. I would at the same time try to locate your nearest Regional Children's Hospital or (second choice) University Medical Center (Medical School). Ask for the Child Development Center or Department. I would schedule him for a complete neuropsychiatric exam with a developmental neuropsychologist. He would also see a psychiatrist too. Any number of things could be going on. I agree with Apple. Something could have happened to him that you do not know about. But all different things should be looked at. Places like Children's Hospitals and University Medical Centers should have accessible financial arrangements. They also have very knowledgeable people working there. (We did this when my child was a toddler. As I recall it was easy to get an appointment.)

    The other thing I want to mention here, is that SOMETHING is causing this. It is not something that one day he decides to do. Somebody does not just decide one day, OH. I'm going to DO this. No. This is driven by something powerful. It can be treated, if what's driving it, is identified.
  5. Amanda2321

    Amanda2321 New Member

    Thank you all. It looks like our first step should be his doctor. I will call tomorrow morning and get an appointment scheduled.
  6. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Dear Amanda

    When you go to the pediatrician ask for a referral to a developmental neuropsychologist. I would TRY very hard to go to a Regional Children's Hospital, if that is at all possible. (I would start exploring that now. I would want you to go to the very best place that is near you.) If you get a referral from the doctor insurance should pay for it.
  7. Amanda2321

    Amanda2321 New Member

    Thank you! We don’t have any regional hospitals near me. I think the closest big hospital is in St. Louis, MO.
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Also you might try your nearest state university.
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  9. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I live in California. So if I need expert help I would go to the University of California Medical School, either in San Francisco or Los Angeles. But if it was for a child, I would try a Regional Children's Hospital, too.

    I don't know the state you live in but in addition to the regional children's hospital in St. Louis, there are half a dozen Children's hospitals in Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Kentucky and Iowa (I looked at the map and found states around Missouri). If you would want more specific information, please private message me above through the inbox, which is next to alerts. I'd be happy to help if I can.

    The reason we are harping about going to certain places, is to avoid (as best possible) going on a wild goose chase for a diagnosis. In the long run you might save yourself (and your child) a lot of suffering.
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sudden onset of this can be a very bad sign. Your son probably won't tell you what is behind this. If he even knows. It is a very serious symptom that MUST be fully checked out. Who has he been alone around in the last months before this started? This is a VERY abnormal thing for a 10 yo to do. it is more than just "bad behavior".

    On the off chance that there is a physical cause, start taking him to the bathroom at regular times. Maybe every 1 1/2 to 2 hours while he is home, plus whenever you first get home and just before you leave. NOT fun with a 10 yo, but if you insist (tie it to his tv or video game time), he will go alone most likely. Be sure to stop him frequently while playing video games and watching tv so that he can go. Make him stay there until he goes.

    Don't make a huge stink about the mess. Just make him clean it up. I mean LITERALLY make him do his laundry. Make him scrub the carpet. Make him disinfect everything (1-2 Tablespoons bleach in a gallon of water will disinfect), or use a color-safe enzymatic carpet cleaner so animals won't urinate on the same spot (I always got the "Kids n Pets" brand enzyme cleaner(for carpets, laundry, etc... and it worked well). Be matter of fact about it, not angry if you can be. I would make sure that pottying inappropriately meant that the tv or game or whatever went off until it was all cleaned up.

    DO be aware that this is a major sign of POSSIBLE abuse. This is why he needs to see a doctor/neuropsychologist about this ASAP. Regardless of the "why", yelling at him won't be productive (hard not to do though!).

    I am sorry you are dealing with this.