HELP my daughters school wants to pull her IEP!

[upset]

I fought for a year when she was in 2nd grade for this IEP. I was under the impression , and in fact was told to NEVER sign off on it , even if she didn't need it , just to have it in my back pocket. Well she's in 5th grade now, and we had a meeting with the team yesterday, they are all saying how great she's doing, etc etc... I said, well from what I understand when she goes with the intervention teacher it's basically a study hall, when I feel this woman should be helping her with her homework. WHen this child comes home we are very active parents and we end up spending TWO hours of time doing hw with her! so no wonder her work is good! I even told them some of this homework is bs in my opinion, I'm a college educated adult with a medical degree, my husband in literally a genius and we even look at some of this and are like "what?" this makes NO sense, how is a 10 yr old supposed to do this on her own?

In fact her Language Arts teacher was there, I can't stand this woman, she sent home this ridiculous book report before xmas, I MYSELF spent 10 hours on it, and told her that, then I spent another 10 hours on it with my daughter, not to mention the time she had in class to do it, a bit extreme, sorry that's even beyond highschool level work!

They didn't seem to listen to a thing we were saying, my hub went with. basically told us the IEP is no longer in effect because she's met her goals and is doing fine. I told them I'm not signing anything. So I really need help. Yes I'm beyond thrilled she's doing good, but at the same time, I don't think it's right that her father and I are spending 2 hours a night helping with hw either. I told them I do plan on homeschooling my son next year, and even though my daughter likes school, I might have to be the mean mom and pull her out too if this is how they are going to be! I said, so what i have to spend another year of taking her to a shrink to fight for an iep again? when I was under the impression that it was the parents FINAL say as to weather or not to end it or not, well guess I was way wrong, because as of now, she doesn't have one! I'm beyond livid right now. I was told never sign off on it, she can even take it to college if need be. Please help, what do I do? how do I get an advocate? or even a lawyer who deals with this?

thank you....
upset momma bear

 

[BusynMember]

Call the Dept. of Public Education and get an advocate. And stop doing her homework with her...that way they will see that she still has many challenges. We had this happen with my daughter and had to do this to get even a 504 plan back, but we did. They don't like IEP's...it's extra work for the teachers.

My daughter is nearing college age. A two year college will honor an IEP, but I have been told that a four year college probably won't and that if she can't do the work, she won't get in. Also, they didn't let us, the parents, make the final decision either. It really hoovers.

 

[buddy]

Look at your parent rights pages for how to appeal. It's a team decision but you can request a re evaluation too( if that's how she got in) . Never do her homework. I agree, that's the only way for them to see her struggles.

Get that advocate and appeal.

 

[TeDo]

I agree with MWM and Buddy. You can call the Dept of Ed in your state and/or look at the "Right to Appeal" or "How to Appeal". Leave the homework out of your home life so they can see what she can/can't do on her own. It's better to have her grades slide now than when she gets to high school where the grades really matter. That might (and probably will) show them HER capabilities independently vs what she can do with a lot of help. The burden needs to be taken off you and put back on their shoulders. It's THEIR job to educate her, not yours. You can explain to her that you're not going to help her anymore because the teachers (and you) need to see what she knows and what she doesn't and it's okay not to know everything for awhile. Do this for a month and then request a re-evaluation for possible Special Education services.

I am so sorry this is happening and yes, it does hoover big time. I feel for all of you. Sometimes the system (and many school districts) just stink when it comes to our kids. Do you see any specific goals she should have at school? That's one thing to focus on. If her grades slide, then that will prove to them she still needs help. Good luck.

 

[buddy]

Another thought. If the school is so unrealistic and the IEP didn't help, maybe another school could be sought out? Are there charter schools or private schools around you?

 

[InsaneCdn]

You don't have to take homework to zero (although we eventually did...)
One of the elementary schools we went through had a policy that struggling students shouldn't be spending more than 30 minutes a night on homework. If you were average or good, and wanted to put extra work into a project, that was fine. But as a parent, we had the right to pull the plug at 30 minutes, sign the top of the assignment and write the words "30 minutes". The teachers handed these off to the resource teacher... who then went looking for causes, etc. For us, at that school, it meant only doing 1/3 of the problems - after a couple of sheets went back, the teacher picked the ones she wanted difficult child to do.

Sometimes it's a bit of a tough challenge between trying to preserve the kid's self-esteem, and trying to get the right help. We had to get difficult child on-side (and succeeded, eventually), so we could really push back and get to zero homework. Now, in HS, all that comes home is reading, plus the occasional small almost-completed assignment - but he gets one period of the day with support, to get the homework done for all of his other classes.

 

[BusynMember]

Another thought. If the school is so unrealistic and the IEP didn't help, maybe another school could be sought out? Are there charter schools or private schools around you?

Around here, private schools and any charter schools don't have to honor IEPs.

 

[buddy]

charter schools must but many are simply not geared for it.

point is, she doesn't have an iep now, and they weren't honoring it anyway. If she really doesn't qualify anymore, or if appeals fail, could there be a better fit out there?

 

[BusynMember]

Private schools can be academically challenging. My son and daughter (Learning Disability (LD)) did awful there and no allowances were made for them. Would have to NOT be a parochial school.

I don't know anything about charter schools.

This woman has a right to fight for the IEP (we did it) and if they can't accomodate her child, the Dept. of Public Ed with insist they send her to a school who CAN accomodate her needs at their own expense and with their own transportation. We did that for Sonic. He went to an out-of-district school at THEIR cost.

 

[buddy]

just depends on the emphasis. mn has a large number of charter schools. they're public schools so have to follow idea.

we have some designed for autism, Hmong culture, science, charity and community service, learning disabilities , etc.


one that a friend sent her Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) daughter to was all individual. kids went to teachers desks. no classes. they can learn all subjects through their special interests. it's farm oriented too.

sorry for my keyboard issues....