Sorry this may be a long story. So my husband and I are a mixed family he has 2 girls from a previous marriage M 11 and N 13, and I have a son E 6. We have been living together almost 4 years. We both have full legal and physical custody of our children as both our our ex s are addicts. Although thanks to Utah custody laws that do not want to "bastardize" children they both see the other parents every other weekend as long as their drug tests are negative. The girls mom used drugs while pregnant with both kids, they were not however born on drugs due to her being placed in a half way house during the end of both pregnancies. When we were dating and more so once the girls moved in I noticed N was very different. She just always gave me a weird vibe. Even my mom who love children, and has taken many into her home over the years has struggled to be around N. She was really clingy almost lingering on inappropriate with anyone whether she knew them or not. She would sit next to her dad an rub his arm or leg, and her would move away. I had to talk to her several times about how many times to hug and kiss my 2 year old at a time was appropriate. We would hear him yell from another room N stop I don't want another kiss, or no don't hug me anymore. She even proceeded to try to sit on my 20 year old brother's lap the first time she met him. Another instance we caught her, after dropping her off to go ice skating, holding hands with a complete stranger. I pulled the woman aside and asked her WTF, and she said she just kept doing it and didn't know what else to do. We had many discussions on touching and what was socially acceptable or not. She no longer "hangs" on people around me or her dad. But we have received phone calls from school, or her sister has relayed she does it at her mom's or grandma's house. She frequently "accidentally" hurts animals and other people. She will pull my hair when standing behind me and when I say ouch, she says oops sorry. We have had lots of fingers slammed in doors, toes stepped on, objects dropped on people, and dogs coming up crying from being near her. One instance about 4 months ago our 115lb Golden Retriever was with her in the bedroom and we heard him yipe and run upstairs. This dog you must realize could be hit with a truck and shake it off without crying. When confronted she said that she stepped on his tail. Socially she struggles to keep friends and has complained of being bullied by neighbor kids and school kids. We moved to a new county with a new small town school about 4 months ago. She has a tablet that she can use for texting us and friends. After the second week of school she said she loved it and had lots of friends and all was happy. One night we were looking over her tablet and found 5 different girls from school she was texting incessantly 15-20 texts in a row until the responded. Many accusing her of lying about such things as self harm and saying her sister was dead. She would try to skype them and they would tell her to stop and you would see that she would continue to try 5-6 times after being told to stop. We also found pictures of a boy at schools she had been secretly taking pictures of saying that she wanted him and was in love with him. She also was texting her sister at weird hours in the night who was also asking her to stop. She also texted and voice messaged weird chants. At this time she had been seeing a therapist for almost a year. We went to her with this information and they began to work on social skills and what is socially acceptable and what is not. About 1 week later our daughter M came to us and asked us to change the password on her tablet. When we looked through it, we found that she had been texting M friends as well as her own pretending to be M, saying crazy not nice stuff. She also eats non-stop and hides food in her backpack and room. I have found maggot infested french toast under her mattress. She will eat an entire box of cheerios in one sitting when getting home from school, followed by 1/2 a gallon of juice and the block of cheese. We have contemplated getting a lock on our pantry and fridge. She is stealing, she has taken everything but pennies from her 6 year old brothers piggy bank, broken into my car to steal $20 from my wallet (she actually half admitted to it saying "I only took a dollar, there was just a dollar left". Our whole family notice money missing frequently but no way to prove who took it. She also has been caught with Mp3 players, pocket knifes, and loads of candy and energy drinks we did not purchase for her, or her other family members. Her temper tantrums are intense, my son frequently leaves the house or sits in his room with his ears covered because she just screams. Last week after she came asking where the Mp3 player was, saying it was her friends and she needed it back, I told to have her friends mom call and I'll run it to their house (small town, reasonable offer I believe). She flipped accusing me of accusing her of lying, which i wasn't but had my suspicions. She then admitted to lying saying she bought it and goes places we don't know about. Mind you the nearest grocery store is 6 miles and the nearest electronic store is 12 miles away. She then went to her room where she flipped out we heard crashing and banging, then her pet bunny scream. So her dad went down there to find the bunny caged flipped over and proceeded to remove poor Harriet from the situation. She further melted down screaming " what are you going to do with her" (mind you we do animal rescue and have a fully functioning farm, we are not eating bunnies here). She then physically attacked her dad (first time ever this bad). He picked her up and tossed her onto her bed and shut her bedroom door holding it closed. 1 hour later she walked upstairs like nothing ever happened, she always does this no remorse over what she did, we have punished her in every way we can think, she never cares. Obviously she lies all the time. Even in normal conversation she will just blurt out something so ridiculous. I want to believe her but it is really getting hard to know fact from fiction. The therapist told us to call her on all lies and praise the truth, but we can't tell them apart anymore. So she has been grounded to her room with no electronics for 3 days, this morning I caught her at 6am (which is when I go to wake her for school) fully dressed in my hallway. She has no reason to be up by the master bedroom as there is nothing she needs up here. I obviously startled her as much as I was startled, she said she was going to school early and out the door she went. I went back to bed, when I got up several hours later to wake the other two kids for school, I noticed 6inches!!! of my hair was missing. It was really the straw that broke the camels back. She has been saying she wants to live with her mom for around a year now. And well that where she went, her dad pulled her from school drove her 30 miles to her mom's house and said here you go. I know this sound so horrible. But It scares me to think what if she used the pocket knife in the night that i found and confiscated from her dresser drawer the week before, what if she hurts my son or her sister. What if an "accident" goes too far. So on top of counseling she has seen a psychologist and had a full psychiatric evaluation. They diagnosed her with a compulsion disorder and ADHD. They did not believe she needed medicating at this time. We took her to the doctor where they did every type of blood test for hormones and pituitary gland function along with drug test, all negative. She picks large holes in her face and arms, they started an anxiety medication that her sister said she vomits up at school... She also started behavior modification therapy and we went to parenting classes, but she just keeps worsening. Help I am at a loss, what do I do with her. With all the testing and moving we are out of money and can not afford a in treatment program. Her dad said he has lost his bond to her and no longer can love her, we want to love her but she literally scares us. Do we just let her stay at her moms? She is a drug addict and has 2 other very small children at her house. I have called the court to see if they could help with child in need of supervision. But they said she has to have done something that involves the state and is documented like truancy, running away, getting caught stealing from the store, or physically hurting someone. We have a Disney land trip planned in the spring. I do not want to bring her, is that evil of me. I feel like I am going crazy... Do you or can you just write off a child?