He's admitted

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    He's admitted. Thank you Lord!!

    It was easy to leave him. No tears from me...just relief. Never ever though I could get to this point with him but I'm exhausted.

    It is a good place. Only 4 there now plus him. Max 10. I pray he takes advantage of the opportunity.

    He wanted me to leave quickly. (We cannot have anyone there knowing I exist...eyeroll). Trouble is, they never got a check for his petty cash fund nor a credit card for medications. I called the pharmacist. difficult child can wait on the cash.

    He refused to sign anything but a medical release. I said I want to know if you are okay and if you are here - no details. It is my understanding they now won't even tell me if he leaves AMA. I figure as soon as he runs out of cigarettes, he'll sign.

    His cell phone is locked up there. I went online and set it so he cannot make calls and can only text me. If he wants to leave, then the phone is useless and he will call me to complain.

    Throat is much better this am. Going to go take a shower and sleep all afternoon.

  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hooray! I'm so glad it went smoothly and will continue to hope that he embraces the opportunity. There are tears...and then...there are tears. In your case I thought you might just bawl in relief! Enjoy the peace. Sleep like a baby. You've got alot of catching up to do. Hugs. DDD
  3. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Good news. I'm hoping he stays the course and fluorishes there.
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Phew!!! Take this time to get your sleep and relax.... for now you know he is safe!!! Sounds like there are several of us with difficult children in rehab right now.... hope we can all get that much needed rest.

  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Good for you, good for him. Just decompress and let him do the rest. Congratulations!
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad you can get some rest now. Hope you get better and he does, too.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank the Lord is right! Hope you are taking a very very long nap.

  8. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Feel better soon. Glad to hear he is there.
  9. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    One more hooray for you and your difficult child!!! Please get some rest and enjoy the peace and quiet. You have earned it!
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so glad that he is there and that you can get some much needed rest.

  11. wantpeace

    wantpeace New Member

    I'm so happy it went well and that you can rest. I can relate to being at the point of not even crying. I remember cryng when I saw strangers drop their son off at rehab a year ago, yet I didn't shed a tear when I left my own son there recently. It's so emontionally draining to live with an addict. I'm praying for the best for you and your son.

  12. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I remember taking difficult child to rehab like it was yesterday. I was very angry with her because she had snuck out the night before, had some guy steal a ladder from our neighbor's yard, put it up to her second story bedroom window and she climbed out, climbed back in at 4 am and left the ladder outside the window. We had told her two nights before when we got the ok for admittance that if she went out our drank at all we weren't taking her and she had to leave. So both husband and I were very angry and we decided to take her anyway. I couldn't even look at her and I'm sure the admitting person thought I was a "b". But I left her there so relieved that I was going back home to peace and quiet. It took me two weeks to even consider going to parent day because I was so angry.

  13. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    I figured the anger would come after I got him there and, sure enough, it has. He told someone on Facebook last night that he took 3 xanax. Don't know what is true anymore but he was out of this am. His sleep cycles are backwards but i bet he did something.

    The doctor ordered scripts for detox a few hours later....enough time to get labs back and know what he is dealing with.

    My only responsibility right now is to care for me. Not thinking much about next week, etc.
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    AG you will find out more the longer he is there. I thought I knew everything, but there was so much more. And that's what every other family member said too.

    It is so important that you take this time when he is away to concentrate on yourself and find the things in life that you use to enjoy. I didn't realize how many things I had given up while being so emersed in my difficult child's addiction.

  15. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    I'm so glad he is there. Hope you got a good rest! I agree with Nancy-the things that come out are pretty amazing. I hope he stays and will eventually soften and sign a release. If not, look at the good work you have done and you can rest assured that it is his deal now, you have done what you could. ((Hugs))
  16. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Talked to difficult child's family therapist. Best news is he says difficult child appears glad to be there and open to the process.

    Still no release but he is working on it. difficult child daughter ask if I had called. I gave him calling card info so difficult child can call if he wants.

    This may sound strange but i was happy to have a chance to share family background, my perceptions, etc. I believe that can only help, especially if difficult child ends up with a dual diagnosis.

    difficult child originally didn't want me involved in any way. They got him to agree i can attend family meeting next Wed.

    I'm just happy for any forward movement.
  17. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Great news!!! It will definitely give you a chance to rest knowing he is safe! It his court date coming up soon? it always looks better for them if the judge knows they are trying to help themsleves.

    It is Friday, and I don't know about everyone else, but I always dreaded the weekends! I guess because they ganged up together more, double trouble!
  18. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yikes I'd almost forgotten about family night. Be prepared like a girl scout. It's not unusual for the kids to verbally strike out at the parents. Yeah, even the ones that are tight as ticks with the parent. Residential is not for wimps, lol. DDD
  19. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Oh great....more difficult child abuse. And just when I thought it was safe again.

    Seriously, I realize it is a process. However, my days as a punching bag are over, especially if it involves a large check md driving four hours.
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    AG I don't think it will be that way at all. DDD it's awful that you were subjected to that. Most rehab centers do not allow that to happen.

    I'll explain how ours worked and I have heard simialar stories from other places. Family program day consisted of a lot of education material, speakers and short film and then we broke into groups wirh just the family members and discussed what was going on in our lives. The center she was in had well over 100 men and women and each group was broken into anywhere from 8-15 families depending on how many showed that week.

    After the family meeting, we got together with our difficult child's in the same group. Usually there was a reading and short discussion and then each family had their time with their member. We sat face to face in the middle of the room, holding hands, looking into each others eyes, difficult child and mom or dad or sibling, each member got their turn. difficult child was not allowed to say anything. The counselor explained that this as our time to tell them how their addiction has affected them. It was very emotional. It was interesting to watch the diferent difficult child's and how they reacted. If this was early in their stay they sometimes had little emotion or seemed angry but were not allowed to talk until the family member was finished and then it was very limited, they were not allowed to verbally abuse or vent at the family member. Most of the time the discussion on their part revolved around how long they would have to stay.

    If this was not their first week and/or they have accepted the fact that they are there and have embraced the process, it is very emotional on everyones part, the family member gets a chance to tell how they feel and the difficult child usually breaks down and admits their problem and some things that are hard to hear that they have done that you may not know about.

    The day was draining with a lot of tears. Not only did we cry with our difficult child but we cried listening to other families' stories. We had a two hour drive back and there was almost complete silience in our car between husband and I, we needed time to collect our emotions. Those family meetings were some of the most powerful days and I am so glad we participated.

    We did eight of those family days. I wondered what would be different after the first one but found each one was just as productive and important as the last because of where difficult child was in the recovery process. We were able to discuss if we noticed difficult child was backtracking or not engaged or if something had happened that week to cause concern.

    If those meetings had been a slam session on parents I would not have gone and would have questioned why we were paying all this money for that.

    One other thing, the family program was free, it was included in the charge for the treatment.

    Last edited: Mar 9, 2012