Hi everyone. I found this amazing forum about a week ago and have been lurking and reading. This has been wonderful for me. I could have written so many of the posts I have read. Just change the name and it is me. I am 62, happily married with 3 children. 2 Easy and 1 Difficult. This nightmare has been going on forever it seems. He was 9 the first time he tried to kill himself. He is 37 now. He is homeless, he has been in and out of jail. Went to prison for assault, served 1 year in county and 1 year in prison. That was the first time he ever went to prison and I was terrified. I sent money often for all kinds of things. He was extorted for a period of time at the end and I of course, paid for that too. He got out in September. He was clean and sober, on medications (he had no choice there) and we saw so many glimpses of the person he could be. We decided to give him one more try and set him up in a small apartment. He chose the neighborhood. I was concerned about it but frankly most places I looked at didn't want to take him anyway. I am sure you know what I am going to say. It went to heck pretty fast. There was approximately a month where things were pretty good. But before long we could tell he was back on drugs. He denied it, of course. Applied for SSI - he has had it since he was 17 but they canceled it when he was in prison. He got into trouble with a local gang. He said they were trying to kill him. But i am not sure what was real and what was delusion. He said someone was in the attic drilling holes in the ceiling and he really believed it. That was not true but he really thought it was happening. Eventually all of his stuff that we had purchased and found for his apartment was "stolen". Even his couch. I know everything was sold for drugs. He finally talked his sister into getting him a bus ticket out of the city because he had her convinced that the gang was going to kill him. He bummed his way to Florida and that is where he has been since Jan. He was homeless there. I did pay for a room last month. He had surgery on his ankle and I couldn't stand to think of him on the street right after that. So here comes the end of March and he wants me to pay again for April. I say no, I told you that March was the last month I would pay. I have paid your rent for 7 months and I can not any longer. I was able to stay strong on this - MOSTLY BECAUSE OF WHAT I READ HERE! I was strong for about 3 days but began to feel so guilty. I have money in the bank. I could pay it. Blah Blah Blah. My husband is his step father and beyond supportive to me and said Give it to him if you want, but just realize that it is problem not for rent. He tells you what you want to hear so you will give him money. He was right so I hung tough. Sadly he called his sister (who has custody and is raising his son) and begged her and she sent him some money. She told me this and then he called and asked me for money again. I said I know your sister gave you the money. Why are you asking me? It isn't for rent. I know it isn't. So no. I did not accept his calls for another 3 days. His SSI was denied. Now I hear from him 2 days ago, he had tried to kill himself. Ended up in the hospital where they offered him rehab. He took it. This is his first time in rehab. He is in some kind of waiting period right now and he is allowed to call me. He has called me a number of times asking for money for clothes. He only has the clothes he is wearing. I told him no. He keeps calling me. So then I said, no money. Tell me the address and I will go to the thrift store and get you a few things and send them. That was early today and I have not heard back. I would not even believe he was in rehab or the hospital but when I called the number back it said the name of the place on the recording. So there you go. I have written a book here. I am trying to be strong. I honestly can not do it anymore. I can't even say I love him any more. I love that tiny little boy he was but the decades of lies, theft, hateful nasty talk, threats, and heartbreak have killed that little boy for me. Thanks for listening and sharing your stories, they have helped me more than you could know. Sadly, at least I know I am not alone. I feel like I can share with people who know and understand my pain.