Highly Sensitive People/Empath. Is this you?

[PiscesMom]

I am reading that book The Highly Sensitive Person and it all fits. I am definitely a HSP, but not an empath. Honestly, I didn't even think that was real until I read thru everyone's posts.

I had a strange experience. It was when I was married to my kids' father. He went out every afternoon to the bar and drank a lot, plus used cocaine. I guess you can drink more if you use it. That was our normal. Me alone with the kids - him out doing whatever he wanted.
So one day, early afternoon, I was in the car with him, which was a giant Suburban. We drove by some young people biking. Suddenly, I felt beyond horrible. I had an overwhelming feeling something terrible was going to happen. I called my sister. I didn't know what to do - why I had this strong feeling of fear and dread. Later he went out, per usual. I couldn't sleep. Finally, way past my bedtime, I went downstairs and wedged myself in the couch as tight as I could and drifted off. At 4 am he rang the doorbell, and I saw a taxi right outside.
What happened? I said. I was in jail, he said. He had gotten a DUI - finally!!! I was dizzy with happiness and relief. .17 bac and driving.

What is the explanation for that?

 

[BusynMember]

I am reading that book The Highly Sensitive Person and it all fits. I am definitely a HSP, but not an empath. Honestly, I didn't even think that was real until I read thru everyone's posts.

I had a strange experience. It was when I was married to my kids' father. He went out every afternoon to the bar and drank a lot, plus used cocaine. I guess you can drink more if you use it. That was our normal. Me alone with the kids - him out doing whatever he wanted.
So one day, early afternoon, I was in the car with him, which was a giant Suburban. We drove by some young people biking. Suddenly, I felt beyond horrible. I had an overwhelming feeling something terrible was going to happen. I called my sister. I didn't know what to do - why I had this strong feeling of fear and dread. Later he went out, per usual. I couldn't sleep. Finally, way past my bedtime, I went downstairs and wedged myself in the couch as tight as I could and drifted off. At 4 am he rang the doorbell, and I saw a taxi right outside.
What happened? I said. I was in jail, he said. He had gotten a DUI - finally!!! I was dizzy with happiness and relief. .17 bac and driving.

What is the explanation for that?

 

[BusynMember]

Now you are talking about spookier stuff.

I had four experiences of dread that happened before an incident. The last time it happened the dread felt like something bad had happened, but nothing had, but I couldnt shake it. It was hanging over my head.

Finally I had a terrible car accident. I rolled our truck five times. It was a miracle I survived and I spent a long time recovering.

That feeling of dread vanished though.

I had experienced this twice as a child and once in adulthood before this. I think this is similar???

My brother had a dream that someone important had died. When he woke up, he found out the Pope had been shot. Why him? We werent even Catholic.

I know some people are very psychic, but WE were not. So why do these things happen?

 

[seek]

PiscesMom - I read the HSP book when it first came out and went to a lecture by the author. I am HSP & Empath (I don't think she talks about empaths, but I can't remember).

I would say your experience was precognitive - so psychic - which is a different thing . . . but as a Pisces, you are going to be highly sensitive!

I think it's good to know.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I once heard a talk by a security expert who spoke about how human beings are the only species that doubts intuitive insights. He spoke of a woman who couldn't shake the fact that every time she walked into her apartment she had a feeling of fear.....it went on and on and finally she trusted it and put up cameras inside her home, only to find out her male neighbor was somehow gaining entry to her apartment while she was at work.... and doing unsavory things.

The expert spoke about how animals "sense" something wrong and trust it. They are alert to that sense. It saves their lives. He teaches folks, especially women, to trust that inner voice. For instance, if you have a strong feeling to avoid a certain street at night, certainly trust it. He spoke about how fear can be a good thing. He interviewed victims of rape who often said they had a strong sense of fear before the rape, often about the rapist, but didn't trust it. Often women will negate their own intuitive sense to their detriment. I believe it is a natural sense we all have, but we ignore it. Police utilize their strong internal voices in their detecting, but they don't label it intuition.

Anything out of the 'typical' or 'normal' is often criticized. Intuition is not a trait that is usually fostered or supported, people are made wrong for feeling their own intuition. In my belief system intuition is a natural and necessary value we all have but unfortunately because it is not accepted, it is often negated.

I've had numerous intuitive feelings that have been very helpful. I once had a job offer in another state which was exactly what I was looking for. It met all my desires and much more. I was given 2 weeks to decide. Something inside me was loudly proclaiming it as a mistake as my external self was fighting to go for it. The internal voice was so loud and insistent I finally gave in and did not accept the job. 6 months later the company went bankrupt. Those folks who gave up their homes, their other jobs, their former lives were now in an unfortunate place. That was many years ago and it taught me to always trust that inner voice. I taught both my daughter and granddaughter to trust that inner voice.

 

[seek]

Sensitive, Intuitive, Empathic, Psychic . . . they are all different, and often related.

Good point above about society not valuing intuition - I think because it is associated with women - and probably remnants of witch prejudice. It is highly negated and so *we* (most of us) are taught to actively ignore it in favor of "rational thought."

I am glad that so many of us are waking up and reclaiming our birthright (and talking about it - normalizing it) so that it can be less marginalized.

 

[BusynMember]

RE, that is so amazing about the job. Wow. Thanks for sharing!

My daughter Princess and granddaughter ( her child) are both eerily intuitive, even psychic. Both are also highly sensitive people. So is my autistic son. I think all autistics are highly sensitive.

This is in my opinion a very interesting topic

 

[pasajes4]

I trust my gut feelings. They have never let me down. I never share what those feelings are with anyone, because they tend to perceive you as some kind of freak.

 

[RN0441]

I have to agree that any time that I have gone against my gut feeling I have regretted it.

Likewise sometimes I have feelings that seem off but that are later confirmed.

I feel that I am more sensitive than most people also which is very strange because I've had a lot of bad things happen to me and usually that makes people harden. I'm glad that I haven't hardened though.

 

[RN0441]

I am also very sensitive to food, toxic people, environmental toxins, pollution....if I am physically close to a person who is highly toxic, I get sick. My diet is very strict because anything other than natural plants and whole foods brings up allergies or simply makes me sick. Feeling others pain and struggles was difficult as a child since so many in my bio family are mentally ill, so that chaos and drama, for a highly sensitive child was devastating. I've had 25 years of therapy and a lifetime of healers help me to accept that I am not a 'typical' human, there is much that I simply cannot physically, emotionally or mentally tolerate.....I protect my sensibilities now, whereas as a younger person, I didn't understand how to care for myself....but thankfully I've learned. I don't watch TV (accept for documentaries, to learn) nor read the newspaper; I don't possess a "filter" for lack of a better word, that keeps the negatives at bay for most people....they fly right in on every level and do harm.

I am now very protective of the "space" around me, who I come in contact with, what I read, etc. Folks in need of 'presence,' to be seen and heard find me, no matter where I am.....on planes I bring a book otherwise, someone will find me and spend 6 hours sharing their deepest feelings.......sometimes I am not only ok with it, but cherish it, but I have to be in a certain frame of mind. I've had to learn very, very strict boundaries. I've done a lot of work on myself to figure out how to be okay with how I am....it takes work. I am an introvert and don't have a lot of friends....I cry very easily, often about the plight of others....I cannot tolerate chaos and drama and I've been embroiled in it most of my life.....it took me many years to come to the understanding that I am not responsible for others.... empathy is my greatest gift and my greatest lesson, the proverbial double edged sword.....I believe love is what matters most, so my values don't fit in the cultural norm......at my age now I've grown into who I am, accepted myself and learned to take care of myself....I have compassion for myself and I am kind to myself....I've had to learn that, it didn't come naturally, especially being so different, there's been a lot of judgement, internal and external, and I had to let that go and love myself as I am.

In my belief, miracles abound when we love and accept ourselves.... find our authentic selves and become true to that. For me, in the final analysis, that is all there is......from there loving others is a natural state.

Love it. Don't you wish we could appreciate ourselves THAT much in our 20's rather than our 50's and 60's??!!

 

[BusynMember]

I have read that empaths and HSP are more intense if they had a hard time. I seem to have been born a HSP from what I was told. I have calmed myself a lot through the years, but I still jump at loud noise or if somebody sneaks up behind me. The kids I work with love to scare me and make me jump lol.

I dont think HSP can stop reacting to things around them. Do you?

 

[recoveringenabler]

My bio family, as many of you know, is riddled with mental illness. Some of them have "other senses," precognitive, psychic, highly intuitive, sensitive, clairvoyant, etc. My mother "dreamed" of my birth before I was born. There are many stories. However, I have often thought that those of us who have developed "senses" whatever they might be, may not have had a foundation of any kind of support.... and perhaps are labeled in some way, not only weird or different or crazy, but even mentally ill, when it may (or may not) have been some other explanation....... something outside of our usual way of perceiving things. Being outside of the normal reality can be a sticky place to reside.

I am not promoting any kind of reason or justification, or offering any kind of explanation, I am simply sharing some thoughts I've had over the years as I watched some of my family members struggling. There are many labels we can put on ourselves or others and having come out of a family that by any measure, would be considered strange if not downright weird, I tend to shy away from asserting a person to be this or that.

If it's true that if you lose your hearing your other senses compensate for that loss, what if a brain is not working in the 'typical' fashion, so other "senses" come aboard to pick up the slack? I've observed this in my family. In myself.

I believe if we have an open mind and an open heart, we then allow more in....we don't close down to different ways of seeing things, different perceptions, so we are more available to information that may not be what is "typical."

One example I can think of is that many years ago, probably 45 or so....I was having dinner with a good friend. At the restaurant a guy was going from table to table doing magic tricks. He came over to our table and asked me if he could "read" me, he said he was a psychic. I said "sure!" Well, this young man read the heck out of me....he knew many, many things about me, and he easily shared it......for me it was fun and enlightening and interesting, I loved it in fact. My friend was put off and insisted that he knew me because how else could he know that stuff. (I had never seen this guy before.) She was almost angry. She demanded he "read" her. He said he couldn't. That convinced her it was all a farce and somehow we were putting one over on her. She huffed away to the bathroom. I asked him if he knew why it was so easy to read me and he couldn't read her at all. He said that my "third eye" was like an open book, I was so open he could literally 'walk right in'.......and hers was shut tight. That had a big impression on me since the guy really did know so many oddball things about me personally. And it showed me just how sensitive I was/am and how much I needed to protect that part of me. I'm easy to figure out, easy to 'read.' So I could also be easy "prey" for those who are manipulative. Lots of learning for me.

Perhaps some of us have that openness and aren't as fortunate as I've been having sought out help at an early age.....perhaps it's just too much for some.

Life is a mystery and we don't have all the answers......we only know a small amount of what is possible.......and yet folks are judged unmercifully for being different or not typical or not "normal" and perhaps some folks, like my own mother, my brother and my sister and my niece and my nephew..... just check out.

Assertions, judgements and labels can be hurtful and very limiting....we are all more than that.

I don't have any answers ......these are simply things I've pondered over the years which this thread brought up. Take it for what it's worth to you and dismiss what isn't.

 

[BusynMember]

I very much believe some people are psychic snd some are easier to read than others. I have had incredible readings that have convinced me that changed my thinking about life and death.

 

[susiestar]

I just found this thread. I am definitely HSP. I scored a 21 on their test, when you only need a 14. My sense of smell is ridiculous. On a normal night, I can usually tell you what my upstairs neighbors are cooking each night - through the ceiling!. No one else in the house can. Some nights, like migraine nights or if I have overdone it during the day, I am even more sensitive. So my family will usually ask me "if smells are okay?" each night before they cook anything. Otherwise I spend the night puking. It can get ridiculous. I have been known to have hubby drive me to my parents to spend the night if the smells get too bad. Luckily my parents don't mind.

I have always been told I was overly sensitive to emotions, but I thought everyone else fought too much. It seemed that all people did around me was get angry and yell or throw things. It would tie me up in knots, literally. I couldn't eat, would get sick, even if people were just annoyed or tense, it really bothered me. As a kid I learned to vomit silently, not to lose weight but so I didn't have to listen to lectures on how I needed to 'toughen up' and not let people yelling upset me. I also learned to stop those lectures by barfing on the person lecturing me. That was always good for some entertainment value if they really got to me. It was my last resort when I had ENOUGH.

Intuition has guided my life in more than a few ways. I trust it. When I was 13 I was sitting on the floor and got the most awful feeling. I was watching tv and I just knew that my world had changed in an awful way. About an hour later the phone rang and I did NOT want my mom to answer it. My Grandpa was dead. Oddly enough, the summer before, I knew it would be the last time I saw him. I think he did to. He wasn't sick then, but he got me up in the middle of the night to go pretend to fish off the dock in his backyard. He told me he didn't want me to go to his funeral because he did not want me to see him like that. He died a few months later.

When my grandma on the other side died, I had just been to visit her. I was there when she went into the hospital the last time. I knew, deep down, it was the last time. No one believed me when I said it was the last time. I managed to sneak past the nuns at the hospital for one last visit and I saw my Gpa N sitting by her side, holding her hand. He died before I was born, but I knew who he was. I called my parents and told them it would be in the next 2 days. They told me to get back to college. I flew to college, was there for 6 hours, and went to the airport to fly out for my Grandma's funeral.

I have often had feelings about things and then ended up being correct. Usually no one but my husband believes me. Often my parents yell at me for not telling them before the bad thing happens, especially if my brother has a bad consequence. It is infuriating and heartbreaking. It makes me not tell anyone but my husband, usually. I will try to guide my kids, but if they won't listen, they won't listen. Esp now that they are adults, well thank you is almost an adult.

Do any of you find that people get angry with you over your intuition, especially if you are correct? If you warn them that a bad thing will happen if they don't do/change something, they choose to not listen, then it is somehow your fault that the bad thing happens? That is the pattern with my family that has driven me to just shut up.

 

[BusynMember]

Susie, I am highly sensitive. I never sensed things like impending death, like some...but I had a few eery feelings like something bad happened before it did. When i was about 12??? I felt like an airplane was going to crash on our house. It kept me up. I told my mom and I dont think she had much of a response. I dont know how she frlt inside. I was a kid with tons of overabundant anxiety.

A few days later there was one of thevworst airplane crashes ever a few miles from our home. I believe it crashed in a mobile park, but I dont recall the details. So my prediction was not thankfully 100% accurate. Still, it was scary. I knew that the crash was what I was worried about...the anxiety went away after that.

The last experience of feeling weirdly that something bad happened was begore my car accident. I dont tell anyone whrn it happens except the first time eith the airplane. I always think the feeling will just go away.

 

[susiestar]

About a year before my Difficult Brother imploded his life, my husband had a predic6tion. He told me he wasn't sure what would happen, but it was going to be big and truly awful. He also told me that somehow I was going to end up getting completely blamed for it even though I was many states away.

3 drunken gun relatef felonies, one of them done without clothing on. In public. Aver a period of four years my mother and father told me a number of times that it was my fault because I didn't tell them that he had a problem

 

[Littleboylost]

About a year before my Difficult Brother imploded his life, my husband had a predic6tion. He told me he wasn't sure what would happen, but it was going to be big and truly awful. He also told me that somehow I was going to end up getting completely blamed for it even though I was many states away.

3 drunken gun relatef felonies, one of them done without clothing on. In public. Aver a period of four years my mother and father told me a number of times that it was my fault because I didn't tell them that he had a problem

Sorry I laughed out loud at the audasity of your parents. Good God your not his keeper your his sister!! Do not let this comment darken your heart. What is wrong with your parents to project this onto you.

 

[BusynMember]

Wow. Didnt THEY know?

 

[PiscesMom]

I love reading all these answers. I wish I had more abilities. I wonder if being open to them would help, or if it is an either/or thing.
The only other experience I had was really craving the ocean desperately when I was pregnant w my first. She loves the ocean, was obsessed w mermaids until her early teens. I know it was her vibe I was feeling.

 

[BusynMember]

I am working on my abilities. Meditation helps hone them. So do other things...there are many books on this. If interested further on how to live in spirituality i recommend books written by Dr. Wayne Dyer...or you could listen to his YouTube tapes. There are many spiritual teachers.

My mental state and the way I see EVERYTHIHING has changed since walking this path. I now see this life as just a particle of our bigger picture so I dont take things so seriously. This is not a religion. I am not religious.