Hi, I have not been here for 2-1/2 years. Both of my kids are married and living in apartments. My son married a beautiful, intelligent, hard-working woman with a foul temper. She is a name-caller and the two of them have met their matches. I occasionally wished that my son would get stuck with someone on his level, but now it breaks my heart. He never graduated from H.S. We kicked him out the week of his birthday 3 years ago and he spent several cold, December nights homeless. I thought I would lose my mind with worry. But he was resourceful and moved in with friends. They all slept in one room of an old house, where every room was rented. They smoked weed and slept on the floor. Long story short, he found better friends, I bought him a used bike and he got a job. He kept it for 9 months. He got fired, got another job and quit. Two more entry-level jobs and now, finally, full time. And his own car. He has had very bad anxiety attacks, where he thinks he is having a heart attack. Then mania, depression and anxiety again. Wants to run cars off the road, but does not do it. Has to take breaks at work to pace and breathe. Can't sleep at night. He has called me in tears several times in the past three weeks, begging for a doctor. Cannot be seen until Dec. Or Jan. He bought insurance but it won't kick in until Dec. 1. Today he and his wife went to the E.R. for his anxiety and wasted four -1/2 hours. The nurse told him he had depression and anxiety and sent him home. He already knew that! Our old psychologist suggested the mental health hospital but that was yet another two hours, and a nurse who said probably cyclothymia and Occupational Therapist (OT) would be a good idea to use lithium, but did not write it down. Cop-out! Gave him the standard list of doctors to call. He called the same list last week and no one will take him without insurance and not until Jan. He took off work today and tomorrow and us terrified of losing his job. They have a baby on the way. I don t understand why the staff at both hospitals neglected to send in a real doctor, to give him a bone fide diagnosis, and a scrip. How do people get through acute episodes? He is doing all the right things. I told him that I was proud of him for being so self-aware and taking control of the situation as much as possible. All those years of therapy have helped. He told me he loves me and appreciates my help. We have come a long way from his anger, denial, vile insults, hate, drugs and thievery to a good, honest, mature relationship. My heart breaks for him. Our mental health system sucks. If you go in for a broken arm, someone fixes it. Not so for mood disorders. You get a bunch of referrals and hope you survive until you are seen.