Horrified to hear rumors of hard-core drugs at our high school

[gcvmom]

I was informed last night by a group of moms that our new high school, which has only been open a year and has freshman, sophomores and now juniors this year, has an ongoing problem with heroin and meth use among students. Apparently this is what happens when you combine affluence with uninvolved parents.

I am absolutely shocked that stuff this dangerous is out there in our community. Perhaps I've been naive. Booze, pot and cocaine, yeah I can imagine that. It was around where I grew up. But now this hardcore stuff just scares the snot out of me.

I'm not so worried about my kids because of the level of involvement I have in their lives, the conversations we've had throughout their lives, and how busy their days are (not really any opportunities for unsupervised idle time).

I do want to be sure I know the facts for what's happening in my community. Where should I go to get the info? The school? The police vice department? I was told by these parents that our high school has people under surveillance right now, and I doubt this would be something readily shared with the public. So how do they know?

Ugh. It just really is upsetting to think that this "safe" little community is not what I thought it was. Wow, I really am dumb.

 

[HaoZi]

Meth is cheaper and more addictive than coke, doesn't surprise me at all. I would expect lower levels of such in some communities than others, but I'd never expect them to not be present to some degree.

 

[toughlovin]

Heroin is a big problem around here. Problem is kids get into the pain killers like Oxycotin and then move to heroin because it is cheaper. It is very very scary... heroin was that big bad drug of the inner city when I was growing up. I hate to breakout it to you but I would not assume your kids is safe from drug use because you are involved parents. I think if you went and looked at the teen and substance abuse board on this forum that you would find several of us parents who are invovled who also have teens with drug problems. I think the main thing you can do is deal with their issues that put them at risk early on so that they don't use drugs to deal or hide from their problems. And whatever you do don't stick your head in the sand. Drugs are around and available in the high schools and it is scary and can be tragic.

 

[susiestar]

It isn't just your school. These drugs are a significant problem in EVERY school that has high school kids and most with jr high kids. Alcohol problems are not uncommon in 12yo's. It does not matter if you are in a "good" neighborhood or not, or a "good" school or not. There is a problem with serious drugs. It isn't talked about much partly because it is commona nd partly because parents and the community expect the school to somehow stop it when it cannot really even be stopped in a home with just a few people.

Heroin is now a "cool" drug among the affluent the way cocaine was years ago. Meth is just everywhere. Our state was the first to ban the sale of sudafed except from behind the pharmacy counter because our problem was so bad. We were one of the top meth producing states in the US. Limiting sudafed sales really hurt the meth makers.

Meth is a HUGE problem in suburban neighborhoods - esp the "nice" ones where there is pressure to keep up with the neighbors. That costs $$ and people are hurting right now. Meth production is seem as easy money. Women in suburbia are a major market for meth. We feel all of the pressure to work a full time job while at the same time keeping track of our kids, their activities, schoolwork and all that plus we feel the stress to keep the house looking good and being clean and well tended. There just are not enough hours in the day but if you take meth or any other form of speed you stay up for a long time, you can't sit still so you do things, and it creates a nasty cycle of unrealistic expectations, stress, drug use, etc.....

I am sorry that it shocked you. The neighbors may have seen something or been tipped off or it could be a rumor about specific people. Even if they made it all up, drugs are still a serious and huge problem in our schools.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

As a parent of a meth addict living in a suburban neighborhood, who tried to keep my children busy with sports and good activities and thought I was involved in their lives, I take high offense to your post. Drugs are everywhere and all of our children are in danger of becoming addicted.

 

[DDD]

I know it sounds like "uninvolved parents" are the issue. It is not that simple. Wish it were!

Most of us have had a shocking awakening of knowledge about drugs in our communities. Those of us who have kids turn into addicts (regardless if alcohol, pot, coke etc.) have all wondered how to heck it happened in our families. Believe me as past PTA and PTO President of five different schools in a highly alluent community and later in a rural community I thought, like you, that my kids would not only never be users...they wouldn't even know a blunt from a lollipop.

Sadly you can't control what your kids will be exposed to. I know people who shipped their kids to expensive boarding schools to escape drugs in their cities. Not. You can be loving, dedicated, intelligent etc. etc.....almost all kids are exposed to drug use and some will experiment. DDD

 

[JJJ]

As a parent of a meth addict living in a suburban neighborhood, who tried to keep my children busy with sports and good activities and thought I was involved in their lives, I take high offense to your post. Drugs are everywhere and all of our children are in danger of becoming addicted.

I know she didn't mean to offend you. It is hard to understand until either your child or someone who know has a child who goes through it. There is a desperate wish that by being involved and by keeping the kids busy in sports, church, etc that we can somehow protect our kids from drugs.

I knew a family through our sports organization whose son died when he did some of the contaminated heroin that came through the USA a few years back. This kid was very involved in sports and was at practice or a game (with a parent driving him and being in the stands) five days per week. The son and the dad did tons of stuff together - they were very, very close. Their son was a easy child and one day, he started dating a girl from his high school, brought her home to meet the parents. The girl was well groomed, very polite and seemed to adore their son. She was also a herion user and got the boy into heroin as well. Within mere weeks the parents knew something was wrong, investigated, found out about the drugs and got their son into a rehab program. He did great and came home -- he was back to his old self. He did not resume his relationship with the girl but one day they were at a mutual friends house and she offered him some heroin 'for old times sake'. He was dead within hours.

Great parents, good kid...just one bad choice.

I remember that summer, one the first day of camp that all of our kids attended, the dad was there, standing off to the side just watching the kids practice. I went over and gave him a hug. He said, he knew that his son was gone and that he would never again be out there with the kids but that, for 10 years he had spent the first day at the camp and he needed to be there. His wife and he had done counseling and they knew that they did everything possible for their son and they had accepted that sometimes you just can't save them.

 

[slsh]

Affluence and parental involvement have nada to do with- drug use. Our HS is fed by some of the poorest communities in the 'burbs, no exaggeration. Yet drug use is a huge problem. I think use has more to do with the enjoyable state of being high, availability of drugs, the teen mentality of invincibility, and lousy enforcement (which I cannot blame the police - there are not enough hours in the day to deal with all the issues going on in our community). Heroin has become a hugely popular drug around here and is readily available.

Weeburt goes to a private HS - lots of reasons why, but definitely the drug/gang problem at our local HS was a huge factor. He has mandatory drug screening (hair sample), and the kids test 99% negative. But more than that, if they test *positive*, there is a plan in place to deal with it. No expulsion, no arrest. Problem solving, getting resources for the family, and the opportunity to redeem themselves. What public HS has the manpower/funds to go that extra mile?

I know there are drugs in our local jr. high. I can only talk to my kids, reinforce our outstanding DARE program, and do my best to keep an eye on them. But I *know* that if one of my kids started doing drugs, chances are that I would miss it (at least at first).

You're not dumb. I do have to wonder what good knowing the nitty gritty details would do you, aside from rapidly increasing the rate of gray hair? You know drugs are present. They're going to be present when the kids head off to college too. You need to keep doing what you've been doing, keeping tabs on your kids, reinforcing that drug use is not an option and is quite frankly deadly.

 

[BusynMember]

As the mom of a former drug addict, it is at EVERY school, even MOST private schools. There's no way to run from that. You can be rich, poor or in between. The kids can get ahold of drugs if they want. And it's not always the parents fault.I was a stay at home mom who was room mother every year until they didn't have one anymore. There is no 100% prevention, especially with difficult children. Heredity plays a role too...kids of drug addicts, even if they are adopted and never met that parent, are at higher risk of becoming one.

 

[Wiped Out]

I know heroin is big around here in the schools. Sad to know drugs are so readily available.

 

[KTMom91]

Our county is one of the biggest for meth use and production. When I taught adult school, about 75% of them had been through some kind of meth rehab. In fact, one of them explained to me, in great detail, exactly how one would make meth. Not exactly info I needed to have, but interesting none the less.

 

[Jena]

hi

same with our high school. same exact situation the kids here can afford the better drugs not just the pot. there isnt' much we can do as parents other than keep drilling into their heads the infamous don't touch that stuff, show them the repurcussoins and just stay in touch with-the guidance counselor, who the kids friends are, their attitudes to see if it suddenly changes. yet you know the drill well.

it isnt' easy, so different from when we were kids, right? and yea i agree parents here also are so wrapped up in themselves they miss all the signs of drug use and their also too busy working their jobs to afford the huge oversized houses and mortgages.

(((hugs)))

 

[DammitJanet]

I went to one of the top ten schools in the country when I was a teen. Drugs were rampant. Back then cocaine wasnt actually popular yet, at least in my crowd. For us it was alcohol, pot, acid and some pills - mainly Quaaludes. Cocaine didnt really hit the market until I was leaving the scene so I never even saw the stuff. I did see heroin when I went to NYC but I didnt like needles so I wasnt about to try it.

Down here I am sure there is heroin somewhere but mostly its crack, ice, powder and pot. And pills. I dont know anyone on heroin.

 

[skeeter]

around here - inner city is black tar heroin (and still some crack, but that seems to be drying up). Suburbs and country schools it's meth. All have alcohol. Lots also have prescription drugs, especially those used to treat ADHD.
I knew my kids would not do drugs, because my kids were too cheap to pay for drugs if for no other reason. My son had the reputation of the "designated driver" when on base in the Navy because he rarely drank a beer. They just don't have addictive personalities. It wasn't due to anything I did or didn't do, it's just how they both are. Luck of the draw for me.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm seriously hoping I've well-impressed on kiddo the dangers of mixing her Rx's with anything else, because addiction does run in her family line on both sides.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Heroin was (and is) a problem in my children's high school as well. Youngest had at least one friend back then that was (is) a heroin addict.. I'm so grateful she never experimented with that particular drug. He was not from an affluent family, his mother worked with me and was a single parent. We did not live in an affluent area, it was a suburban/rural area. I did find out, however, that our high school was "known" as the place to go to get good drugs. The cops knew about it, but were more focused on finding the dealers than they were arresting the users. Many kids simply "got away" with it.

I have another friend in another state whose 19 year old son died of a heroin overdose a few months ago.

It's everywhere, and it knows no socioeconomic barriers. Don't ever think, "not in my child's school."

 

[BusynMember]

If not in school, it's in the neighborhood. Everywhere. My daughter was homeschooled the last two years of high school to try to dry up her drug supply. It didn't work. The only thing that would have worked was to lock her in her room 24/7. To me, it's not as much about parents as it is the luck of the draw. Some very, very caring, involved parents have kids who turn to drugs. Some neglectful parents who don't pay enough attention to their kids (at least in my opinion) have kids who turn out really well. I never did figure out the formula

 

[gcvmom]

... and yea i agree parents here also are so wrapped up in themselves they miss all the signs of drug use and their also too busy working their jobs to afford the huge oversized houses and mortgages.

This is really what I meant about uninvolved parents. We live in a modest neighborhood surrounded by multi-million-dollar neighborhoods. These are the kids whose parents can afford to buy them a new BMW or Mercedes or anything else they want when they turn 16 and get their driver's license. These are the kids who have EVERYTHING material, but often lack a close or grounded family life simply because their parents are both working to maintain this extravagant lifestyle. The same parents who we can't get to volunteer to help out in booster clubs or in the classrooms, who would rather just write you a check and be done with their "obligation." I spent the lunch hour on my son's campus yesterday and was astounded at the way these kids dressed, the way they behaved, their attitudes towards others -- disgusted with the lack of respect or humility they have, and the overblown sense of entitlement many of them have. These are the kids that throw the crazy-wild parties when mom and dad are off in Hawaii.

Like someone else said, I think what surprised me is that when I was growing up, heroin was an inner-city drug BECAUSE it was cheap. Those kids couldn't afford cocaine or prescription pills, which are also expensive. And meth wasn't really even heard of back then. I had a cousin who died about 15 years ago of a heroin overdose at age 35 -- my uncle went looking for him after the hospital he worked at called because he hadn't shown up at work for two days. He was still lying on the bathroom floor with the needle in his arm. While it was utterly shocking at the time, in hindsight, this cousin really was a difficult child and it was not his first time using I later learned. His dad was also very self-absorbed and could not deal with the fact that his son had come out a few years earlier. After he died, his dad refused to ever speak about him and wouldn't acknowledge that he ever exisited. I suppose the pain was too great for him, but stuffing those feelings was typical of how he dealt with things when his kids were growing up. THAT'S the kind of denial that causes fundamental problems for families.

I'm hopeful my kids have been adequately brain-washed by me, so far. I've overheard both the difficult child's tell a friend that they believe they would damage their liver if they ever tried mixing illegal drugs with the rx'd medications they have to take to stay healthy. So while that may get challenged one day as an exaggeration, at least it gives them an answer that's not tied to some rule their mom gave them if someone ever offers. The best I can do is educate them as openly and truthfully about the dangers as I can and keep my radar up. And pray.