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How can we help our son?
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<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 761260" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>Dear Pepper, you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>I'm exhausted right now from an episode with my own mentally ill child (25). I live in Australia and the mental health system is different here, but broken just the same. I am afraid for my son but as he is a grown adult there is no way for me to get him help. He needs to want to help himself.</p><p></p><p>Our stories sound similar in a way. I have three kids and my difficult one is the eldest. My other kids are wonderful. Like you, I have spent a lot of time volunteering and participating in my kids' lives and have always tried to provide them with a warm, loving home and rich and varied experiences. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I could have done differently, but in the end that is not a rabbit hole worth going down. I did my best and you did too.</p><p></p><p>Your son's condition is not your fault. Nor is something you can change. Only he can do that. I think you are right to prioritise the safety of the rest of your family first. I agree with Copa re the paper trail. I have not done this in the past and - like your son - my son is good at presenting a normal face when he has to. I wish I had been smarter about documenting his episodes. Keeping evidence might help you down the track to get him admitted or to get a restraining order if necessary.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but I'm glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 761260, member: 24721"] Dear Pepper, you are not alone. I'm exhausted right now from an episode with my own mentally ill child (25). I live in Australia and the mental health system is different here, but broken just the same. I am afraid for my son but as he is a grown adult there is no way for me to get him help. He needs to want to help himself. Our stories sound similar in a way. I have three kids and my difficult one is the eldest. My other kids are wonderful. Like you, I have spent a lot of time volunteering and participating in my kids' lives and have always tried to provide them with a warm, loving home and rich and varied experiences. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I could have done differently, but in the end that is not a rabbit hole worth going down. I did my best and you did too. Your son's condition is not your fault. Nor is something you can change. Only he can do that. I think you are right to prioritise the safety of the rest of your family first. I agree with Copa re the paper trail. I have not done this in the past and - like your son - my son is good at presenting a normal face when he has to. I wish I had been smarter about documenting his episodes. Keeping evidence might help you down the track to get him admitted or to get a restraining order if necessary. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but I'm glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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