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How can we help our son?
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 761269" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Welcome Pepper</p><p></p><p>You have gotten great advice here and many (most) of us have "been there". I actually remember when my son locked himself in his room with a 1/2 gallon of whiskey. When we demanded he come out he literally punched a hole in his bedroom door! It reminded me of "The Shining"!! We were floored and I was scared of him; as he is the gentlest person you could ever meet when sober. The police came and he jumped out of his second story window and ran. He was not harmed.</p><p></p><p>That is just one night of many crazy years with him and my nerves are still shot and I also have PTSD from an alcoholic mother and father that beat her and cops coming to my childhood home. I get it. I get all of it.</p><p></p><p>What I did then is find a therapist that specialized in addiction. I needed the one-on-one. When I went to groups it got me more depressed and I felt doomed. I know groups help many though.</p><p></p><p>I also did and still do PRAY a lot. I know that is what got me through. It was a very very slow process but now my son is doing well. His final stay of 13 months in a Christian program in Memphis is what finally turned his life and our life around. We were fortunate as our son wanted to be in our lives and there was no way I wanted him in my life unless he changed.</p><p></p><p>My therapist helped me create firm boundaries for myself and for him. I was learning to detach with love. I found that I had so many tools within myself that I had not tapped into. I felt that all of my childhood pain had prepared me for the hardest fight of my life.</p><p></p><p>My son knew that I meant business. I honestly felt that I could walk away from him. There was no greater pain but through my faith I knew that I could do it.</p><p></p><p>Stay with us because this site, my faith in God, my therapist and my loving husband got me through this. This won't last forever. It will end eventually. </p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 761269, member: 15032"] Welcome Pepper You have gotten great advice here and many (most) of us have "been there". I actually remember when my son locked himself in his room with a 1/2 gallon of whiskey. When we demanded he come out he literally punched a hole in his bedroom door! It reminded me of "The Shining"!! We were floored and I was scared of him; as he is the gentlest person you could ever meet when sober. The police came and he jumped out of his second story window and ran. He was not harmed. That is just one night of many crazy years with him and my nerves are still shot and I also have PTSD from an alcoholic mother and father that beat her and cops coming to my childhood home. I get it. I get all of it. What I did then is find a therapist that specialized in addiction. I needed the one-on-one. When I went to groups it got me more depressed and I felt doomed. I know groups help many though. I also did and still do PRAY a lot. I know that is what got me through. It was a very very slow process but now my son is doing well. His final stay of 13 months in a Christian program in Memphis is what finally turned his life and our life around. We were fortunate as our son wanted to be in our lives and there was no way I wanted him in my life unless he changed. My therapist helped me create firm boundaries for myself and for him. I was learning to detach with love. I found that I had so many tools within myself that I had not tapped into. I felt that all of my childhood pain had prepared me for the hardest fight of my life. My son knew that I meant business. I honestly felt that I could walk away from him. There was no greater pain but through my faith I knew that I could do it. Stay with us because this site, my faith in God, my therapist and my loving husband got me through this. This won't last forever. It will end eventually. :notalone: :staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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