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How can we help our son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 761303" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>This is the sad truth, however heartbreaking. Even if your son struggles with mental illness and substance abuse, he has to be the one who wants to change. I have two adult children who struggle with substance abuse and mental illness, and I remember saying to my therapist that it felt unkind to set boundaries when they are in such denial and in such need of help. She said to me, "Even people who are mentally ill need to say 'uncle' at some point -THEY have to come to the point of wanting help. </p><p></p><p>Your family's tolerating your son's abuse will not help him, but it will hurt you all because of the extreme stress you face because of his behavior. Setting boundaries for your safety is a loving act for you and your family. You have made some good choices. I have little to no contact with my older two because they are in denial, gaslight and manipulate, and have no regard for my well-being. I live with the sadness, but also the relief of not being a part of their instability and abuse.</p><p></p><p>Sending love and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 761303, member: 19832"] This is the sad truth, however heartbreaking. Even if your son struggles with mental illness and substance abuse, he has to be the one who wants to change. I have two adult children who struggle with substance abuse and mental illness, and I remember saying to my therapist that it felt unkind to set boundaries when they are in such denial and in such need of help. She said to me, "Even people who are mentally ill need to say 'uncle' at some point -THEY have to come to the point of wanting help. Your family's tolerating your son's abuse will not help him, but it will hurt you all because of the extreme stress you face because of his behavior. Setting boundaries for your safety is a loving act for you and your family. You have made some good choices. I have little to no contact with my older two because they are in denial, gaslight and manipulate, and have no regard for my well-being. I live with the sadness, but also the relief of not being a part of their instability and abuse. Sending love and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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