How did you meet your dear husband?

[Lil]

I love it! Like I didn't know whether to give you a star or a laugh! Your road to marriage, with so much indecision, remindede of mine. It was also dramatic but the marriage is anything but.

You and I can start a " I Love Boring Men And No Drama" club. Let others have the Drama Kings!

I loved your story.

LOL! I love that!

All that angst I went through...and Jabber and I have had a great 18 years so far. The only real drama has been our son - and really that was all his doing! Jabber talked of adopting him before we even married and did that within a couple years of our marriage. His family have treated our son like their natural grandchild from day 1! We get along so well. We like a lot of the same things, have similar tastes...we're just different enough to keep things interesting.

Jabber and I, in fact, have never had what I consider a "real fight". No yelling and such. Sure, we've had disagreements and I can't say we've never had hurt feelings, but to yell at each other and say mean things? Nope.

One woman's boring is another woman's treasure.

 

[ahhjeez]

Part 2 - told you it was long.

Poor Jabber. He didn't know how neurotic I was. I was so shell shocked from my first husband I tried terribly hard to NOT love him. Even after I knew I loved him, I wouldn't say it first. Thank heaven's he did or I might have just burst! He proposed much sooner than I thought he would. We met in February and he proposed in September...on my birthday. I told him I would not get married until we'd at least dated a year. I knew he wanted three kids - I already had my son and I was NOT having another baby with someone unless I was sure they'd stick around, so I told him he'd be lucky to get ONE, not three, and I wouldn't consider that until we'd been married a year. (For various reasons, after that year elapsed, things didn't work out in that respect...my only regret in our marriage...and even after I told him I would understand if he wanted to find someone else, he still chose me. Go figure.)

Anyway, we married in April and between September and April, I must have made life so hard for him. He'd show up to find me crying and telling him I couldn't marry him because I'd ruined my credit and I couldn't saddle him with all these debts and bill collectors. Or I'd get cold feet because I was worried about money in other ways - I literally would spend HOURS looking for a PENNY error in my checkbook. I finally told him I couldn't marry him unless he gave me total control over our joint finances and he could only have an allowance of like $200 per paycheck. His response? "Oh thank God. I hate paying the bills!"

I love this man so much!

I even briefly considered refusing to marry him because I was afraid that when we get old he may die first and leave me alone. How's that for neurotic?

All the way up to our wedding, I was a wreck. Then, the day of, I was fine. Really. I was calm and collected. I walked up the aisle with my son in his little morning coat (it was very formal) and when Jabber began his vows I - totally lost my mind! I started just WEEPING. I cried thru his vows and my vows and my nose was running and all I could think was, "Please God, let someone offer me a tissue!" and then I thought, "Next time I do this, I'm carrying a handkerchief" and finally, "OMG! My nose won't stop running and I have to kiss him soon!" And THAT made me laugh! Thank God I had my back to everyone. Some little old ladies told me afterward how sweet it was - but you can hear me sniffing SO LOUD on our wedding video! I cried off way more of my makeup than any bride should and am just really glad for waterproof mascara, though I am very shiny in the photos. LOL

We made it through the wedding and the nice, non-alcoholic, no dancing, high-tea type reception. Spent a lovely short honeymoon at a little B&B in Eureka Springs, then came home. A week later, I went to Urgent Care, feeling like someone was sitting on my chest. After EKG and breathing treatments, they announce I'm having a panic attack and prescribed me Xanax. I laughed so hard I think the doctor probably was shocked, I told him, "I'm the first woman my new husband has been with that wasn't on some sort of mood altering drugs. No thanks!" I tore up the prescription, went home and laugh about it to this day.

Did I miss anything Honey? Or did I make you wonder why you put up with me?

Lil I so love this!!

 

[Triedntrue]

It is kind of a funny story. A friend from work wanted an opinion of a bar as an investment from someone who didn't live in the area so i agreed to go down. I have never been a drinker or spent time in bars and neither had my friend. While there my future husband came in and offered to teach me darts. We had fun and then my friend got sick and i had to leave. He asked my friend that was buying the bar for my number a couple days later and he asked me if it was ok. I said ok. And he told my now hubby to pick it up on friday. Hubby was extremely strong and didnt realizethat he had already closed and he accidentally put too much pressure on the door and broke it. When we got married our wedding gift was the price of a new door.

 

[BusynMember]

Lil our marriage is the same. No yelling, screaming name calling, drama. Boring? I will take it.

 

[AppleCori]

So this is where I was being directed on the Coffee thread. Get ready for a LONG story!

Okay...so I'm going to have to mention my first husband, who was never my "Dear Husband" and more my "Damned Husband" - I'll just refer to him as "Ex". I hate to speak ill of the dead, but it's necessary in order to explain why Jabber is such a saint.

Ex was a huge error in judgment that just snowballed. I met Ex in a bar and kind of just never got rid of him. Within days he'd moved in with me. Within 5 months, we were married. Yes, that fast. The relationship was LOADED with warning signs and I ignored them all. That biological clock is a . I wanted to be married and have babies and I didn't think anyone else would ever ask. He told me everything I wanted to hear. He was controlling and jealous and in the end thought he was a great husband because he never hit me. He wouldn't work. He drank like a fish. He cheated. He nearly bankrupted me. Literally, the only reason I didn't have to file was because I was a lawyer and I knew how to bluff the collections agencies. I had a great wedding! I had a terrible marriage. I was pregnant in 6 months. He took off about 6 months after our son was born. After another 18 months or so I filed for and was divorced...I'd waited hoping his girlfriend would pay for it. He never paid me a dime in child support.

So...that was Ex.

A few years later, I've dated like two guys - one very short-term, like 3 dates, and one old boyfriend, who is STILL a friend...Now HE'S a long story. LOL

Finally a friend of mine (former friend now - another long story) keeps telling me, "I know the BEST GUY for you!" Jabber and she had dated, even - I think - lived together for a short time. She left him for a friend of his and it's a tribute to how nice a guy my Jabber is that he remained friends with them both! Anyway, she kept trying to get us together, even threw her daughter a birthday party, which if I remember correctly, was mostly adults, so we'd meet. We did meet. I said hello to him and promptly forgot what he even looked like.

She kept it up. She arranged for us to both come play cards with her and her boyfriend. My son conveniently got sick so I could cancel. I turned her down over and over and finally she just said, "You ARE going out with Jabber! You are meeting at my house this Sunday, you're going to eat at Applebee's, you're going to see this movie, and I am going to babysit!"

So...I went. He picked me up, we went to Applebee's (where he impressed me by only having two drinks), we went to the movie (Payback, with Mel Gibson...not exactly romantic, lol), he took me back to her apartment, where I gathered my son, thanked him politely, SHOOK HIS HAND , and went home.

She called and asked if she could give him my phone number. I said yes. He called and we went out the next weekend, and the one after that, and the one after that...in fact, we never spent another weekend apart until well after we were married.

I asked her once, when she was bugging me to go out with him, if he was so great, why didn't SHE keep him! Her answer, he was too boring for her. Yeah....

Dating Rule #5 states that if a guy or gal wants to move in with you after the first date, it’s not going to work out in your favor.....

 

[GoingNorth]

When I first met husband, I was dating another guy. husband and I were both into theater, he as a lead actor/singer, and myself as a set worker.

We went to two separate high schools in the same district that had a consolidated theater department.

I worked on a few shows he starred in, and after dealing with his extreme fussiness and brusqueness about blocking, staging, and set design, design, etc, decided he was an insufferable little pr**k. Darned good-looking, but a little pr**k nonetheless.

A few months later, after a show closed, we were both at a cast party. He was leaning over the piano at the mansion on Lake Michigan the party was held at, singing as another cast member played. There was a huge crowd gathered around him, and I remember looking at him, and thinking, in horsewoman's terms, that he looked a bit "white around the eyes" (tense, nervous, about to blow up.), which I thought odd, as by that time he was acting professionally as well.

I walked out onto the back patio to get away from the crowds, smoke a cig or two, and cool off. He came out a few minutes later, hiked a hip on the wall, glanced at me, and then turned back to the lake.

He said, "Do you actually talk?"

I said, "Only to a select few. You don't qualify."

That was our first meeting. We didn't exactly hit it off.

 

[Lil]

That was our first meeting. We didn't exactly hit it off.

Oh there has GOT to be a lot more to this story!!!

 

[AppleCori]

I've thought about the kid thing a few times, and how not having kids of my own would have made it harder for me (I think) in meeting someone with kids, even though I love kids. Just think it would or could make things hard.

To the uninitiated it would seem that after the kids turn eighteen, or at least out of college, it wouldn’t be an issue. But in today’s world (and especially in the world of parents with D Cs) that’s often not the case. I had a friend once say that if she had known what she was getting into.....

 

[BusynMember]

I would have welcomed other kids. I really adored kids.

But I thought in the end it was better for mine that my current hub didn't have any kids. Just another possible complication. We adopted Sonic and Jumper so we had two kids together. Fun to raise our own kid's together, especially such great ones.
Doesn't get any better than those two. Our own together.

 

[RN0441]

So I was divorced with a four year old son. On the weekends that he went with his dad I'd cat around (lol) with my friend from high school who was single, very pretty and had never been married.

One Saturday night she wanted to go to a psychic fair at the Odium in Villa Park, IL (for those that know Chicago). She wanted to learn how to read tarot cards. Then she had a coupon for dinner. So I said okay let's go. She went off to her tarot card class and I decided to get my fortune read by a little old Indian man.

He told me that I would meet someone that had one child and he would want to marry me and we'd have one child together. He said that I would not want to get married right away but he would persist and we would marry and be happy. He also told me I'd go back to school.

Excitedly I said when will I meet this man?? He said within a month. Wow. I was intrigued.

We went to dinner and then she wanted to go for a drink at Pacific Club (Walter Payton's place in Lombard). I said ugh. It's all old men looking for young chicks or couples - how depressing when you're alone. I finally gave in and we went.

I met my husband of almost 26 years that night. He had one son. We had a third son together.

Oh I never went back to school but I worked at a school for five years!

I wish I could find that little old man again. He was the real deal!

 

[BusynMember]

I love this story. I believe very much that certain people have psychic gifts. And I am thrilled that you shared!!

 

[NCGram]

I got my husband at Kmart! Actually I worked at Kmart with one of his sisters and one Sat night she said her brother was picking her up to go to dinner, would I be interested in coming? I said sure. We got married 3 yrs later, she was my maid of honor and this September will be 38 years of happiness!

 

[BusynMember]

A blue light special super duper husband!!!! I love it

 

[Lil]

Not ever a husband - but I once dated (for a long time really) a man I represented back when I practiced "real" law. Long story, but he'd had a DWI a very long time (years and years) before, thought he'd finished his probation but somehow when he'd moved it got lost in translation and a warrant had been issued by the original court. My firm represented the family, so I got him all bailed out and worked it out that all he had to do was show up in court in the original city and the prosecutor would dismiss.

He called me the night before his court appearance and asked, if he didn't go to jail the next day, could take me to dinner. LOL

Much later when my father asked me how we met, I told him, "I got him out of jail." He never blinked...just said, "Well, there's a lot of men to choose from there."

 

[AppleCori]

Not ever a husband - but I once dated (for a long time really) a man I represented back when I practiced "real" law. Long story, but he'd had a DWI a very long time (years and years) before, thought he'd finished his probation but somehow when he'd moved it got lost in translation and a warrant had been issued by the original court. My firm represented the family, so I got him all bailed out and worked it out that all he had to do was show up in court in the original city and the prosecutor would dismiss.

He called me the night before his court appearance and asked, if he didn't go to jail the next day, could take me to dinner. LOL

Much later when my father asked me how we met, I told him, "I got him out of jail." He never blinked...just said, "Well, there's a lot of men to choose from there."

I like that story—particularly because my mom got a guy out of prison too! Not quite in the same way, of course.....

Why did it end?

At the risk of looking like a stalker for the second time today—you haven’t written your “first love” story yet.

I am in the middle of mine but it’s a long one with no end in sight. It may be a tomorrow post.

Edited to add—did you see my cool ex-boyfriend story from last week?

 

[Lil]

Edited to add—did you see my cool ex-boyfriend story from last week?

I don't think I did. I haven't read the first love thread yet either. Not sure how to answer that one...First 'real' boyfriend? First crush (puppy-love)? First REAL love? Hmmmmm.....

 

[AppleCori]

Not sure how to answer that one...First 'real' boyfriend? First crush (puppy-love)? First REAL love? Hmmmmm.....

Take your pick. Doesn’t really matter, I suppose.

 

[Lil]

Take your pick. Doesn’t really matter, I suppose.

What thread is your boyfriend story on?

 

[AppleCori]

What thread is your boyfriend story on?

I had to look for it.

It is titled: In honor of Nomad’s and SWOT’s 6’7 dates...

Geez, I have no idea why a thread with such a catchy title didn’t take off!

What was I thinking!

 

[BusynMember]

I have a funny "dating my husband" story.

So we had gone out maybe five times and I was getting very smitten with this man who treated me nicer than anyone else in the world ever had. I knew he felt the same. One night we went out for dinner. It was our first time at a nice restaurant together.

He took off his trusty baseball cap which I realized instantly I had never seen him without.

My jaw must have dropped as he picked up the menu.

I gaped.

He looked up with an uncertain gaze.

I stuttered "Y-y-you..you....you....are....BALD!!"

He said "Yes. Since I was in my twenties." He looked very uncomfortable.

It was a shock to me. His back hair was fairly long and curly and thick so with the baseball cap I did not think of baldness. Now many woman would have caught on with the constant baseball cap on the head but I was far more naive than most women.

He asked me if I still liked him.

I laughed and laughed and took his hand and said "Of course!"

What a shock.