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How do I deal with an ungreatful, moody adult daughter?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 630914" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Fedup, I would strongly advise against sending an email or anything that reiterates that you were hurt. <em>She</em> knows. It would only serve to lengthen the disagreement. It's better to move forward, because you can't change what already happened. And putting hurt feelings in writing is <em>always</em> a bad idea because they don't dissipate the moment you say them, they stay in writing <em>forever. </em></p><p></p><p>I don't see anything wrong with letting things settle, and when the subject of your coming to see the baby arises be the adult in the room (because you <em>are</em>, and because her hormones <em>are</em> out of whack) and tell her that you're excited to see the baby and you don't want to be underfoot. You know that it was stressful for <em>everyone</em> this last time (right or wrong, <em>she</em> was stressed) and you'd like to make arrangements to stay nearby in a hotel while visiting so that you can be there when she needs you and<em> they</em> can settle in to being a family.</p><p></p><p>I have to be honest and say that in my family (a really carp family) mom never went to set up baby's room or stay with anyone when we had babies. She was always viewed as the sweet grandmother (ha!) who baked cookies, but she really didn't want to help with our children unless she could interfere from afar, IYKWIM. I don't think that most mothers stay with their daughters when they have babies. Very few of my friend's mothers did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 630914, member: 99"] Fedup, I would strongly advise against sending an email or anything that reiterates that you were hurt. [I]She[/I] knows. It would only serve to lengthen the disagreement. It's better to move forward, because you can't change what already happened. And putting hurt feelings in writing is [I]always[/I] a bad idea because they don't dissipate the moment you say them, they stay in writing [I]forever. [/I] I don't see anything wrong with letting things settle, and when the subject of your coming to see the baby arises be the adult in the room (because you [I]are[/I], and because her hormones [I]are[/I] out of whack) and tell her that you're excited to see the baby and you don't want to be underfoot. You know that it was stressful for [I]everyone[/I] this last time (right or wrong, [I]she[/I] was stressed) and you'd like to make arrangements to stay nearby in a hotel while visiting so that you can be there when she needs you and[I] they[/I] can settle in to being a family. I have to be honest and say that in my family (a really carp family) mom never went to set up baby's room or stay with anyone when we had babies. She was always viewed as the sweet grandmother (ha!) who baked cookies, but she really didn't want to help with our children unless she could interfere from afar, IYKWIM. I don't think that most mothers stay with their daughters when they have babies. Very few of my friend's mothers did. [/QUOTE]
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How do I deal with an ungreatful, moody adult daughter?
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