How do I let go of helping my adult son (44 years old), who has needed constant help all his life. I was a young teen when I had him. Needless to say, there were many things I could not provide for him, nor was able to teach him, as I was a messed up teen and young adult. To make a long story short, he has struggled all his life with jobs, girlfriends, money, and even was homeless a few times. In his early adult years I tried to help in any way I could as I wanted him to succeed, and I felt guilty for not giving him the childhood he deserved. So, saying "no" when he asked for help was difficult for me. Oftentimes I rescued him financially. He has gotten a little more responsible over the years but not like he needs to be. I feel like a horrible mother as I have withdrawn myself from him over the past 10 years because I couldn't take it any longer - emotionally or financially. Anytime I attempt to draw near to him to have some type of relationship with him, inevitably he ends up asking to borrow money, or pay a bill of his, or do favors for him, etc. I'm drained! To be around him causes me sorrow. So I stay away - until the next cycle begins and I try again. How do I let go? Do I let go? I grieve over the 'loss' of the son I wish he was. I feel like I ruined him, and therefore should be helping him.