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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 750470" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Something runs in every family. So what?</p><p></p><p>My daughter is adopted. I am at fault for not letting her stay in her impoverished birth country where she would have been probably a street kid or at best in a crummy orphanage.i have analyzed how crazy that is and just tell her she can go visit and even stay there if she thinks it would be best. We have visited there with her and this priveleged girl was repelled at the world there but she still uses this mostly to hurt us. It works but not like it did in the past. She is married to a lazy man and has my poor grandson and is on tje verge of bring homeless as they are unwilling to work much or pay bills. And our money is mostly gone due to her.</p><p></p><p>That's our backstory. The future looks bright. We are retiring soon and will buy a new house without possibly giving her our address. She is 33. She reached our personal age limit for being able to depend on us. We cant live forever and we have both been.practicing Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness and especially Radical Acceptance resonates so strongly that our lives changed. We also go to Al Anon as Kay chronically smokes pot.</p><p></p><p>I don't know your sons ages but at some point there is no option except commiting yourself to terminal misery or to let go. These kids are OUR addictions so nobody is healthy, us or them. </p><p></p><p>We bought Kay a house, mobile home, paid rent, bought cars, etc</p><p> It just made her entitled, ungrateful and mean to us. I have two nice kids and other family. And a great husband plus myself. They are now my focus.</p><p></p><p>I cant tell you how to stop being addicted to your sons so I wont try, but there are ways to stop any obsession. You can't change them. You know it. So make your own life good. Yes you will think about them, but not as much or as intensely.</p><p></p><p>Your lifestyle sounds so much fun! Pray to God if He is in it and stay well. Maybe look.up Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness. Both changes us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 750470, member: 23706"] Something runs in every family. So what? My daughter is adopted. I am at fault for not letting her stay in her impoverished birth country where she would have been probably a street kid or at best in a crummy orphanage.i have analyzed how crazy that is and just tell her she can go visit and even stay there if she thinks it would be best. We have visited there with her and this priveleged girl was repelled at the world there but she still uses this mostly to hurt us. It works but not like it did in the past. She is married to a lazy man and has my poor grandson and is on tje verge of bring homeless as they are unwilling to work much or pay bills. And our money is mostly gone due to her. That's our backstory. The future looks bright. We are retiring soon and will buy a new house without possibly giving her our address. She is 33. She reached our personal age limit for being able to depend on us. We cant live forever and we have both been.practicing Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness and especially Radical Acceptance resonates so strongly that our lives changed. We also go to Al Anon as Kay chronically smokes pot. I don't know your sons ages but at some point there is no option except commiting yourself to terminal misery or to let go. These kids are OUR addictions so nobody is healthy, us or them. We bought Kay a house, mobile home, paid rent, bought cars, etc It just made her entitled, ungrateful and mean to us. I have two nice kids and other family. And a great husband plus myself. They are now my focus. I cant tell you how to stop being addicted to your sons so I wont try, but there are ways to stop any obsession. You can't change them. You know it. So make your own life good. Yes you will think about them, but not as much or as intensely. Your lifestyle sounds so much fun! Pray to God if He is in it and stay well. Maybe look.up Radical Acceptance and Mindfulness. Both changes us. [/QUOTE]
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