How do I temporarily place my troubled teen in PA

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ChristyC, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. ChristyC

    ChristyC New Member

    Ok, so here goes, I'm at the end of my rope with my soon to be 16 year old daughter. For the last few years she has been obsessed with sexting older men she meets on the internet. Every time she is caught she tries to physically attack me (she's about 60 lbs larger than I am, and I'm not in good health) then claims she is suicidal, which leads to me having to call the police. However there has never been a suicide attempt, it's just her way of taking the focus off of her actions and not having to deal with the punishment which is usually no access to electronics. I get the same result every time: they put her in a juvenile psychiatric facility for a week or two, where she shows complete disrespect for the staff and the police who took her, then send her back home where it eventually occurs all over again. I have filed police reports against these grown men, the problem is that they are using these secret texting apps so it's impossible to trace the real location. I have wanted to press charges, but I was told by the police that since she was engaging in these activities with more than one male that she could be charged with distribution of child pornography herself, so I declined because I didn't want her to have a record, I did not press charges when she attacked me either for the same reason. Now I'm on the 8th occurrence, and I don't know what to do. Her father is a deadbeat and completely absent from her life, and my husband doesn't want to get involved because she has made false allegations against us in the past(which were investigated and deemed unfounded), now she's saying we emotionally and mentally abuse her, which is completely false. I honestly don't think drugs or alcohol are involved. She gets enraged, screams and curses me, my husband and her 5&7 year old sisters, she is out of control. I was also told she can't be placed in a juvenile detention center because I didn't press charges. I have contacted my insurance company, children and youth, everyone I can think of, yet nothing can be done since she isn't in the court system. I take her to counseling weekly, however she refuses medications.I have two younger children who see all of this and I feel like my only option is to sign my rights off, but I'm really struggling with this, can I temporarily sign her over with out giving up my rights? I do love her and she does well in school so I keep giving in, but I can't take much more, I really just need a break from the craziness. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Just a thought. Even if you did give
    your rights away, and I am not sure you can, in two years she will be eighteen and you can contact her again.

    I think if she hurts you and makes false abuse charges you need to call the police. She is s minor. Nothing will stay on her record, but she needs to stop the abuse. This must terrify your littles. You are all living under her reign of terror. Would you allow anyone else to do this to you? Unless she stops now, she isn't going to stop when she is not a minor and eventually she will hurt the wrong person and have a record anyway. A real one. Also you don't want your young ones to see that she gets no real consequences for violence. They could deeply resent it or think it is okay

    You may want to co tact a domestic abuse shelter for counseling. This is domestic abuse.

    I know it's hard, but it isn't good for anyone her included, for her to get away with this behavior.

    Love and light. Take care of yourself.
     
  3. ChristyC

    ChristyC New Member

    Thank you, it's just an awful situation, I'm going to try to find a local domestic abuse shelter today, I have never explored that option. The police don't help, I've tried. Thanks again for your input, I will look into it immediately
     
  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    I am so sorry for your situation. It is heartbreaking. It seems like the only way to protect yourself and your younger children is to have your daughter placed outside the home. You may wish to contact your state's social services agency and ask for assistance.

    In the moment it feels like we are protecting our children by shielding them from police involvement. Sadly in many cases, it's necessary to save not only them but ourselves as well.

    Keep us posted, you may wish to change your username so others don't know your real first name and last initial.
     
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  5. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome, Christy

    I think SWOT and BBU had great suggestions.

    I am always of a mind that we should allow our kids to experience the consequences of their actions while they are still young and the costs are small.

    Her juvenile record will be sealed when she turns 18, but it will be much harder when she becomes an adult to expunge her adult record.

    You might consider not allowing any electronics to be used outside of the main living area of the house, and turn off the internet when you can’t supervise, like after bedtime.

    If she has a phone, I would take that away for the foreseeable future.

    If she gets threatening or violent, call the police immediately.

    Let us know how you are doing, christy.

    Apple
     
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