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Failure to Thrive
How Much Is Too Much?
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 762265" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Ladies </p><p></p><p>This is all tough stuff. We can only answer that of ourselves - how much is too much? We all have different ideas of what too much is. We always think one more thing will be the sure fix and it just never is. I used to drive myself nuts analyzing everything and it is exhausting and I still am doing it.</p><p></p><p>You sound like a very loving stepmother and I give you a lot of credit for being so supportive of your husband. When my son put us through the ringer I think both of us would have bailed if it were not OUR flesh and blood. I know that sounds cold but that is where we were with him. We are a very loving family but this type of experience brings you to your knees and it's where I stayed for many years.</p><p></p><p>My story is different of course but many things are relatable.</p><p></p><p>I prayed a lot during this time because I really could not get ANY comfort from anything else and even that left me empty at times because I did not always feel like my prayers were being heard because I suffered so much. The people on this site and a LOT of prayer is what helped me the most I guess. I prayed for guidance and strength and I still do because although my son is much better than he was he is still immature and entitled which he doesn't see. He does work part time and will finish his associates degree in August. We are moving back to the Chicago area also in August due to my husband's job here ending and have given him until April of 2023 to get his own place. He games a lot and I do expect more out of him than he delivers.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting and talking to others here. It is very therapeutic and you just never know what you may learn. Boundaries are very important and that is probably the very first thing that I learned here. Your son is still very young so hopefully some maturity will kick in at some time and that can help somewhat. </p><p></p><p>We enable them without meaning to because we don't even know we are doing it and when they are minors or early 20's it's easy to do. It sounds like you are very aware of the situation and getting outside help so you are doing everything you can do to COPE with the situation that you are in.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 762265, member: 15032"] Ladies This is all tough stuff. We can only answer that of ourselves - how much is too much? We all have different ideas of what too much is. We always think one more thing will be the sure fix and it just never is. I used to drive myself nuts analyzing everything and it is exhausting and I still am doing it. You sound like a very loving stepmother and I give you a lot of credit for being so supportive of your husband. When my son put us through the ringer I think both of us would have bailed if it were not OUR flesh and blood. I know that sounds cold but that is where we were with him. We are a very loving family but this type of experience brings you to your knees and it's where I stayed for many years. My story is different of course but many things are relatable. I prayed a lot during this time because I really could not get ANY comfort from anything else and even that left me empty at times because I did not always feel like my prayers were being heard because I suffered so much. The people on this site and a LOT of prayer is what helped me the most I guess. I prayed for guidance and strength and I still do because although my son is much better than he was he is still immature and entitled which he doesn't see. He does work part time and will finish his associates degree in August. We are moving back to the Chicago area also in August due to my husband's job here ending and have given him until April of 2023 to get his own place. He games a lot and I do expect more out of him than he delivers. Keep posting and talking to others here. It is very therapeutic and you just never know what you may learn. Boundaries are very important and that is probably the very first thing that I learned here. Your son is still very young so hopefully some maturity will kick in at some time and that can help somewhat. We enable them without meaning to because we don't even know we are doing it and when they are minors or early 20's it's easy to do. It sounds like you are very aware of the situation and getting outside help so you are doing everything you can do to COPE with the situation that you are in. Stay strong. :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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