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How Narcissistic Mothers Create Sibling Rivalry (Article)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677708" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, it seems they are all cut from t he same cloth. A very dysfunctional mother or father (but usually mother) or both. An inability on the parental part to love all of her kids, especially if one is born differently. An attempt to cause sibling strife that suits the mother. Then the cycle continues with those who do not understand they've been played. It made me feel tons better when I read how often this dynamic takes place, with one person filling the need of taking the blame for the entire dysfunctional family. Usually there is more than one perpetrator too, deciding who is "in" or "out." It is so much like Mean Girls that I kind of call it that in my head.</p><p></p><p>We can not choose our FOO, but we don't have to deal with them.That is up to us.</p><p></p><p>We CAN choose our family of choice.</p><p></p><p>I read a statistic once that made me lol. I do not remember the exact percentage or the exact wording, but I will just say it the best I can remember. I remember grinning all day long when I thought about it. It just tickled me because it's so true, at least for me.</p><p></p><p>"A poll was taken by our readers and only 30% preferred having holildays with family over friends." It was written more brutally than that and it could have been less than 30%. It reminded me that it's not just me who finds my FOO undesirable. Does it help to see the numbers? For me it did. This was long, long ago, but I'll bet the FOO lovefest is even lower now.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Cedar, how vile of her.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, this is where I got stuck. My mother didn't beat me. She beat me with her words, which I can still recall in my head to this day. Now these days, I override her words, but it's eerie how our childhood affects us still at age 40, 50, 60, 70. The stuff done to us as a child never 100% dies. That is why I was so so so careful with my own kids.</p><p></p><p>"I don't want to be like Mom."</p><p></p><p>She helped me be a good parent. In a backward sort of way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677708, member: 1550"] Cedar, it seems they are all cut from t he same cloth. A very dysfunctional mother or father (but usually mother) or both. An inability on the parental part to love all of her kids, especially if one is born differently. An attempt to cause sibling strife that suits the mother. Then the cycle continues with those who do not understand they've been played. It made me feel tons better when I read how often this dynamic takes place, with one person filling the need of taking the blame for the entire dysfunctional family. Usually there is more than one perpetrator too, deciding who is "in" or "out." It is so much like Mean Girls that I kind of call it that in my head. We can not choose our FOO, but we don't have to deal with them.That is up to us. We CAN choose our family of choice. I read a statistic once that made me lol. I do not remember the exact percentage or the exact wording, but I will just say it the best I can remember. I remember grinning all day long when I thought about it. It just tickled me because it's so true, at least for me. "A poll was taken by our readers and only 30% preferred having holildays with family over friends." It was written more brutally than that and it could have been less than 30%. It reminded me that it's not just me who finds my FOO undesirable. Does it help to see the numbers? For me it did. This was long, long ago, but I'll bet the FOO lovefest is even lower now. Cedar, how vile of her. Cedar, this is where I got stuck. My mother didn't beat me. She beat me with her words, which I can still recall in my head to this day. Now these days, I override her words, but it's eerie how our childhood affects us still at age 40, 50, 60, 70. The stuff done to us as a child never 100% dies. That is why I was so so so careful with my own kids. "I don't want to be like Mom." She helped me be a good parent. In a backward sort of way. [/QUOTE]
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