How to handle difficult child's attitude toward IEP

[somerset]

difficult child's main issues are some chronic physical problems and major depression. She misses a lot of school. We are gradually starting her back after an absence of 4 months by having her go to only 1 class a day. THe school is ready to assess her for an IEP. I suspect dyslexia, and have told her this before, and she is ok with being tested. However, she absolutely does not want an IEP or Special Education. I've explained to her that IEPs are for kids with many different problems that affect their schooling, but it doesn't matter. I've told her an IEP will give the school a lot of flexibility they otherwise wouldn't have to make school easier for her. Doesn't matter. Did anyone else have this problem, and any recommendations?

 

[JJJ]

Can she explain why she doesn't want an IEP? Does she think that means that she has to go into a special education room? Or that all of the other students will know that she has an IEP? Since she is agreeing to the testing, just do the testing and then see what it says. No need to cross all those bridges at once.

My daughter's sole accomodation is that she takes her finals and standardized testing in a smaller room with unlimited time.

 

[buddy]

I agree with JJJ, just cross the bridges slowly. For now, just get through the testing. She has some ideas and fears and doesn't understand the wide range of what an IEP can look like. At her age she just does not want to stand out in any way I bet. (just guessing). Later when you get to that point, you can take steps to write a plan. Hopefully after she understands, she can actually appreciate it and after going through the process,she will see that she can have input and will see how confidential it is.....also that it gives her RIGHTS that can even follow her into college (no iep but if she wants accommodations this documentation will help her get support at the post secondary level should she ever want it, all totally confidential)

I can understand a girl her age not wanting to be in "Special Education" . My nephew is saying the same thing. He would rather die. He said he will run away. But he is afraid of the unknown. He will only need support he can get during study hall or quick check ins before a class etc. He will not be taking a special bus to school, LOL. (which by the way my son LOVES so not saying sp ed buses are not good, but I understand how a kid would not want it)

 

[keista]

????? Is this the Twilight Zone thread? I could swear I/we responded to this back on 3/22 when it first came up???????

Anyway, my son has an IEP and the only time he sets foot in the sped classroom is when he needs to decompress and he gets to play video games to achieve that. I'm just venturing to guess that your daughter doesn't fully understand what an IEP sped designation means. Depending on her needs, she may NEVER see the inside of a sped classroom, and her classmates won't know anything unless she tells them.

 

[somerset]

That's it, Buddy. She has an absolute horror of standing out in any way. I will take it one step at a time, as you guys suggest.

 

[InsaneCdn]

That's it, Buddy. She has an absolute horror of standing out in any way. I will take it one step at a time, as you guys suggest.

And in all honesty? I don't blame her. Kids can be REALLY cruel, and will pick on the smallest differences.
Unfortunately, our kids stand out to begin with. And often don't see that if they fail to take "help" now, they will stand out LESS later.

Maybe it's a bit like trying to do barrel racing with a horse who's only partially broke?