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How to truly go no contact if you sadly must
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 744428" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh I didnt care about the money. It was the complete rejection and snub by all of them that hurt but I did get over it. I can write about it now with no pain.</p><p></p><p>We have no close extended family. I dont have aunts, cousins etc. that I knew. My Dad had a big family but my Mom who wore the pants made sure we never saw them and my dad was a wuss and went along with it. And I wasnt crazy about her husband so I had more fun without him.</p><p></p><p> There are no "family" get togethers and my parents both named my brother to handle their illnesses and money so it was easy. This may sound weird, and it is, but my sisters kids dont know me or my kids and vice versa so there is nothing connecting us and making it hard. My sister was forever creating fights so our kids never saw each other. We usually spent holidays with my real sister of the heart and BFF's family, hub and kids. When she passed of cancer at age 50, it was like losing my grandmother again.</p><p></p><p>DNAwise, I am in the clear. Where other families are intertwined in many ways, mine never was. When I was a child there was my uber quiet grandpa (never spoke), my grandmother...my angel who told me she loved everyone else too but that I was special to her....my parents, an uncle who still gives me the creeps although he is deceased, and my brother and sister. All are gone except for my brother and sister.</p><p></p><p> My grandmother and I were truly BFFs until she died. I had her until age 37. We spoke almost every day and watched soap operas on the phone together across the generations and she even told me all the times her daughter fought with her (my mother). She had been worth all the rest of them and nobody could make her ever turn on me. And her son tried but he couldnt affect her, which was significant because she normally worshipped her son. But not regarding me. He had no influence</p><p></p><p>Thats it though. Aftet my dad passed, my brother made all the arrangements and did the will. Nobody fought over either will. I knew I could have delayed my moms will and contested it if I wanted to, just to be mean. But I had no interest in figjting just to cause trouble. I stayed silent.</p><p></p><p>However I never forgot that my siblings never even bothered to call to see if I was doing okay with the massive rejection, even though we all expected this outcome. It still stung and it would have been kind to get a sisterly hug. But that required a loving sister.</p><p></p><p>My biological brother and sister cared more about strangers than me. So now they can be strangers. I have blocked everything so I cant be tempted to check on them and they are not in my life, not even virtually. My brother obviously doesnt care. But for all my sister cut me off and abused me, I think it bothers her.</p><p></p><p>In a normal family no contact would be hard but not in this one. As for wanting a family, I have a great family, a loving family! Hub of 23 years, four children, grands, my sister in law, her husband my niece, my sweet dogs....that is enough. I never feel lonely. Soon youngest is marrying and her fiance is already our son. We see tons of both of them. In fact two of my kids live very close and we see them all the time.</p><p></p><p>Have a good day!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 744428, member: 1550"] Oh I didnt care about the money. It was the complete rejection and snub by all of them that hurt but I did get over it. I can write about it now with no pain. We have no close extended family. I dont have aunts, cousins etc. that I knew. My Dad had a big family but my Mom who wore the pants made sure we never saw them and my dad was a wuss and went along with it. And I wasnt crazy about her husband so I had more fun without him. There are no "family" get togethers and my parents both named my brother to handle their illnesses and money so it was easy. This may sound weird, and it is, but my sisters kids dont know me or my kids and vice versa so there is nothing connecting us and making it hard. My sister was forever creating fights so our kids never saw each other. We usually spent holidays with my real sister of the heart and BFF's family, hub and kids. When she passed of cancer at age 50, it was like losing my grandmother again. DNAwise, I am in the clear. Where other families are intertwined in many ways, mine never was. When I was a child there was my uber quiet grandpa (never spoke), my grandmother...my angel who told me she loved everyone else too but that I was special to her....my parents, an uncle who still gives me the creeps although he is deceased, and my brother and sister. All are gone except for my brother and sister. My grandmother and I were truly BFFs until she died. I had her until age 37. We spoke almost every day and watched soap operas on the phone together across the generations and she even told me all the times her daughter fought with her (my mother). She had been worth all the rest of them and nobody could make her ever turn on me. And her son tried but he couldnt affect her, which was significant because she normally worshipped her son. But not regarding me. He had no influence Thats it though. Aftet my dad passed, my brother made all the arrangements and did the will. Nobody fought over either will. I knew I could have delayed my moms will and contested it if I wanted to, just to be mean. But I had no interest in figjting just to cause trouble. I stayed silent. However I never forgot that my siblings never even bothered to call to see if I was doing okay with the massive rejection, even though we all expected this outcome. It still stung and it would have been kind to get a sisterly hug. But that required a loving sister. My biological brother and sister cared more about strangers than me. So now they can be strangers. I have blocked everything so I cant be tempted to check on them and they are not in my life, not even virtually. My brother obviously doesnt care. But for all my sister cut me off and abused me, I think it bothers her. In a normal family no contact would be hard but not in this one. As for wanting a family, I have a great family, a loving family! Hub of 23 years, four children, grands, my sister in law, her husband my niece, my sweet dogs....that is enough. I never feel lonely. Soon youngest is marrying and her fiance is already our son. We see tons of both of them. In fact two of my kids live very close and we see them all the time. Have a good day! [/QUOTE]
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