One of hubs t doctor's today told us no medication board because Are you ready for this? "If you won a million dollars how would that make you feel " "I guess I would be happy till it was gone" "Your depression is situational" This is the therapist he doesn't see this often However this is also the therapist that can start his medication board process He DOESN'T have depression he has schizoaffective disorder and PTSD coupled with anxiety. He will take medication for the rest of his life but I guess that's ******!!!! Situational..... So mad! His other therapist told us it is very difficult for him to start a medication board process and we should ask this therapist his opinion since he had told is previously that john qualified also. But today he pretty much said he never said that and e had told john two months ago that they would reexamine the possibility in 2 months which this about lined up with. He also asked us if we were attending couples counseling which he is the one who was supposed to refer us months ago. He also recommended that I leave john here to close down our house and pretty much save myself while john is here and might be homeless until housing signs off on his leaving the army. (Housing will be the major obstruction because transportation has to pick up our stuff within 10 days and we don't have the cash for the cleaning crew or the carpet cleaners, tk destroyed the carpet in her room and they will gut us on what we owe when we move out. You don't put down a cleaning deposit in on post housing and they charge a lot of money for each "problem" 15.00 for batteries in smoke detectors. 500.00 for a duct cleaning that isn't needed because the filter was changed religiously... Etc etc. my last on post was in good shape and they charged 1600.00 for duct cleaning and grass and holes dug by our neighbors dog under the fence and not waxing the floor an said we had a sat dish in our yard which I never had. There's no one to argue with about it. Whatever money they charge us for the house needs to be paid before they sign off on his clearing And anyway john would not do well if I left at all this is the man who has to be reminded about appointments, medicine, extra alarms so he makes it to work, I handle all phone calls or reminds him what to say to the people I can't talk to that he has to talk to. The first inclination something was wrong with john came when I was finishing my army contract when he had to go to colorado and I had to stay in Tennessee for six months. This doctor who is also a major in the army was unfamiliar with what exactly a g.i. Bill is also... Which is understandable sort of because he went to college before the army or maybe during the army to finish up his doctorate but to be completely unfamiliar with a program that most of the world knows about and most soldiers signed up to get out of the army paid for schooling and an income while attending school? Really? Surreal. I am of two minds still about the whole thing. I really hate colorado and we are very broke and that will not change till we are out of the army. He is paying off debt out of his check and it is eating his check alive. He is very hesitant about letting me go to work in any form but I have put my foot down and will find a small minimum wage job where I can work in the evenings while he watches the children. He is stable enough to do that now I believe. But if by a miracle of god the other doctor can manage to do the medication board we would be in a much better financial situation, he would not have to pay back his reenlistment bonus and we would have a year to pay off some debt and save for the move. Also benefits for life from the army for our family and either a settlement of a monthly payment on top of what the va pay and cover. He also needs a bit more time with constant therapy and getting the medications exactly right before he leaves. They added a pill two days ago which is like adderall because the seraquil is making him lazy, depressed, slovenly, sleepy, and driving him crazy because he never feels "normal" while he's on it though it does make him more sane and stable and not hallucinate not to mention less argumentative. I tried talking to his t doctor about how I am supposed to be best supporting him because I am not a doormat and taking his occasional rages, aggression and hateful attitude and not getting upset about it is not something I can handle. He completely blew me off. Family I need some good thoughts and prayers, and to know that SOMEONE understands what I am saying. Just include me in your nightly prayers when your thinking of your own difficult child's and Janet and Jody and Patriot Girl and all our other board family.