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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 762858" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>February, I remember you posting back when you lost your son, yesterday to you. I know your loss will be with you for the rest of your life here on this earth but I do hope you are finding ways to cope going forward. My brother and sister-in law seem to do better at times, not so much at other times. </p><p></p><p>It's been 5 years since we lost my nephew, he was a beautiful soul, didn't think that could have happened to him, just like your son he was a really good guy but couldn't get himself together. I didn't saint my nephew when he passed, he was a very kind person. I know my bother has gone (still does at times) through the what if, maybe if, what could he have done different and I think ~ nothing. Just can't see anything, nothing he nor my sister-in-law could have done differently. </p><p></p><p>I do know, as in the case of my nephew, those we treasure and lose way too early, those who were our favorites, like my nephew was to me and so many, soften us, allow us to see past judgements we may have had into the humanity of others. My nephew still has many people to this day posting on his fb page about how they miss their talks with him, their support of him. He has left a legacy just like I'm sure your son has. Don't get me wrong, he pissed a lot of people off while he was really messing up and doing things that did not fit his nature but the times he came back to himself he was seen as himself. </p><p></p><p>These days I speak of him as the person he was when he comes up in conversation. I celebrate who he was. The quirky, funny, really nice, so able to connect to people person he was. I hope for you that you get to that place sooner rather than later. I so hope there comes a time when you are at peace when you think of your son and celebrate the good he brought while he was here and know you will also celebrate with him in the after life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 762858, member: 22840"] February, I remember you posting back when you lost your son, yesterday to you. I know your loss will be with you for the rest of your life here on this earth but I do hope you are finding ways to cope going forward. My brother and sister-in law seem to do better at times, not so much at other times. It's been 5 years since we lost my nephew, he was a beautiful soul, didn't think that could have happened to him, just like your son he was a really good guy but couldn't get himself together. I didn't saint my nephew when he passed, he was a very kind person. I know my bother has gone (still does at times) through the what if, maybe if, what could he have done different and I think ~ nothing. Just can't see anything, nothing he nor my sister-in-law could have done differently. I do know, as in the case of my nephew, those we treasure and lose way too early, those who were our favorites, like my nephew was to me and so many, soften us, allow us to see past judgements we may have had into the humanity of others. My nephew still has many people to this day posting on his fb page about how they miss their talks with him, their support of him. He has left a legacy just like I'm sure your son has. Don't get me wrong, he pissed a lot of people off while he was really messing up and doing things that did not fit his nature but the times he came back to himself he was seen as himself. These days I speak of him as the person he was when he comes up in conversation. I celebrate who he was. The quirky, funny, really nice, so able to connect to people person he was. I hope for you that you get to that place sooner rather than later. I so hope there comes a time when you are at peace when you think of your son and celebrate the good he brought while he was here and know you will also celebrate with him in the after life. [/QUOTE]
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