Husband's long weekend visit with son

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by RN0441, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So my husband picked up our son in Memphis on Friday for his first five day pass.

    They drove to our new home on the coast of Alabama and took a lot of pics. It is coming along great.

    They met the neighbor who is a single guy in his 30's. He is getting married next year. He has a black lab. Should be interesting when our dogs "meet" this dog. Mine bark their heads off. We have a rod iron fence so they can sniff each other. Hopefully they'll get used to one another so they don't bark. We are on a corner lot and across the street are the woods so it's really pretty and quiet and peaceful.

    Our son really likes it there and says he thinks it will be good for him. He told me that the past is over. I have wanted to hear that for a very long time. I think he finally has his head on straight. He still has five more months in the program. He isn't asking to come home early. He knows I am very traumatized by the past.

    He goes on a mission trip to Montana next week. They have been preparing for it for a long time.

    There is a pool and gym near our home and in our community that we will have a membership to. J says he is going to go to the gym every day as he does now. Husband and I plan to exercise a lot more once we move also.

    They went to church with our realtor and her family yesterday. They really liked it. J told me his dad seemed uncomfortable at church and that is how he used to be too, but not anymore. They did like it though and it is close to our home. My husband has anxiety so I'm sure that is what he saw. Plus I'm sure it was a bit awkward.

    They drove to Pensacola, FL and Gulf Shores and the beaches and water are beautiful. Both are less than an hour from us. They have had some great seafood too. Today they are taking the ferry across the bay.

    My son said he is very excited to move there and start working and going to the church. I hope to join some groups there too to meet new people. He plans to work initially and then figure out the next steps - that is if he doesn't figure that out while he is in the immersion program. In the program they work full time and have access to computers etc. so he can even apply for jobs near our home.

    I told him that I wish we had found this program FIRST before everything else we'd tried but we agreed that this is how it was supposed to be.

    So that is where we are at.

    I have a lot of anxiety about the move and our son being reunited with us but I also feel that this is how it is meant to be and we are thankful that we are able to give him this fresh start.

    No one knows what the future holds but this is the piece of us that has been missing for a very long time.
     
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  2. EarthIsHard

    EarthIsHard Member

    What great news for you and your family, RN! It's so nice to hear things are going well. It seems a piece of your heart is put back together. Prayers that everything continues on a great path.
     
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update RNO! You've worked hard to get here. Sounds as if you're all healing. Sending prayers for continued positive results.....
     
  4. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    RN, I am so happy for you and your family. What an exciting and also anxious time. It sounds like your son is finding his potential, I pray he stays the course. I think being in a new area, away from old contacts and memories will be a good thing. Thank you so much for posting this positive update.
    (((HUGS)))
    Leafy
     
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Thank you.

    I honestly can say that if he comes out of this in one piece and makes a life for himself that he can be proud of, the hell we have gone through all these years will be worth it. Life has a funny way of keeping you humble.

    I have made a deal with God that if he saves my son I will spend the rest of my life serving him. I do hope to make good on that.

    I think the move was meant to be really and the timing of all of this was more than a coincidence.
     
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  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Great news!!
     
  7. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    Wonderful news. I understand you feeling anxious given everything you have been through but try to take it one day at a time. There are five more months left and from the sounds of it he will continue to grow and expand. Hope that you are getting some care as well. Our lives will never be the same as they were prior to all of the chaos, but then again, maybe they can be even richer knowing that you as a family have withstood these tests. How lucky he is to have you and his dad.
     
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update. I truly believe that your son wouldn't have been successful in the current program if he went there first. I think it was a combination of timing and finding the right place at the same time. I don't think he would have been open to the program until now.

    I am so happy for you.
     
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  9. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Visit coming to a close. Son goes back to his program today at noon. He is very sad and having a hard time with it. He had a great time with his dad and the weather was perfect.

    He just called me a few minutes ago to get some reassurance. He wants to know we are proud of him. Yes we are proud of him. I guess I have to say it every time I talk to him. It is exhausting, it truly is.

    He is going on his mission trip Sunday so that will be a wonderful experience. He said he thinks he will feel better once he gets back today in familiar surroundings. His dad is not good with emotional stuff. He told son not to "be a baby" ugh. My husband has been there so much for our son and is so fortunate to have so much vacation time. He has really gone above and beyond for son but doesn't know how to really express his feelings. His own dad was the same way. Our son needs that though so it is tough for me. I can't make everything perfect, he just has to accept us with our flaws too.

    He sounds so strong and says THAT (and we all know what "that" is) is behind him. It is over. He doesn't want that anymore. Song to my ears but I am a realist and I know ever day will be a struggle for him. I cannot take that away unfortunately.

    I told him it will be good on the mission trip that so many in addiction will be looking up to HIM. He said he knows that because he first looked up to the guys in the program that had been there 8-9 months and now it is HIM!

    Just wanted to say thank you all so much for all of your support. This is still so hard.
     
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  10. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    Your new place sounds like a paradise. I am so happy the visit has been going well. Best wishes to you and your family and nothing but good thoughts for this new chapter in your lives.
     
  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Thanks. This is a very old post and he is home with us now on the Gulf Coast where we relocated for my job.

    All is pretty good except having to reestablish boundaries - he's pushing them - but all in all things are going pretty well.