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I acted on a suspicion
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 690808" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>I want to acknowledge so many comments in this thread.</p><p></p><p>Lil I hear your frustration and I feel the same for my son although it is a different situation. My son was not functioning at all at home either. His thinking was so skewed.</p><p></p><p>He is doing so much better away from us. Far away. I know that may not be an option for you and I <strong>never </strong>believed we'd do what we've done. I never thought it was even an option. I still hear a lot of complaining but he is living his life and slowly learning. He does not think like I think he should even now and he is sober so you can only blame the weed so much - in my opinion - with my son anyway. He is sober now. I don't know how committed he is to it. He seems to be but not in the traditional way. He knows he will not have a place to live if he is not and knowing how far away we are, he HAS TO LOOK OUT FOR HIMSELF now. I think with him that is really the key.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday he told me he walked a mile to the ocean to swim. He has a car but he walked. Alone. He NEVER would have done something like that in a million years here - not that we have an ocean nearby but you know what I mean. Most people would not think that is a big deal but for my son it is a real big deal.</p><p></p><p>It's not a piddly problem. It is huge. When your child is not doing well it takes over your every thought, looking for a magic solution even though you know there isn't one. There's no easy answer.</p><p></p><p>I had to get on him about getting a job at his new place. I wanted him to take initiative but seemed to be a bit unsure of himself. After some prodding from me he got moving on that. It seems the more we do for them the worse they get. It's the opposite of any parenting that is normal. I agree that so much of it is MATURITY but what the heck do you do in the meantime?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 690808, member: 15032"] I want to acknowledge so many comments in this thread. Lil I hear your frustration and I feel the same for my son although it is a different situation. My son was not functioning at all at home either. His thinking was so skewed. He is doing so much better away from us. Far away. I know that may not be an option for you and I [B]never [/B]believed we'd do what we've done. I never thought it was even an option. I still hear a lot of complaining but he is living his life and slowly learning. He does not think like I think he should even now and he is sober so you can only blame the weed so much - in my opinion - with my son anyway. He is sober now. I don't know how committed he is to it. He seems to be but not in the traditional way. He knows he will not have a place to live if he is not and knowing how far away we are, he HAS TO LOOK OUT FOR HIMSELF now. I think with him that is really the key. Yesterday he told me he walked a mile to the ocean to swim. He has a car but he walked. Alone. He NEVER would have done something like that in a million years here - not that we have an ocean nearby but you know what I mean. Most people would not think that is a big deal but for my son it is a real big deal. It's not a piddly problem. It is huge. When your child is not doing well it takes over your every thought, looking for a magic solution even though you know there isn't one. There's no easy answer. I had to get on him about getting a job at his new place. I wanted him to take initiative but seemed to be a bit unsure of himself. After some prodding from me he got moving on that. It seems the more we do for them the worse they get. It's the opposite of any parenting that is normal. I agree that so much of it is MATURITY but what the heck do you do in the meantime? [/QUOTE]
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