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I acted on a suspicion
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 690821" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Lil, I think at this point feeling empty is very normal. You have given and given to him with him returning nothing but grief, so yes, that would leave anyone feeling empty.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes he's lost but you and Jabber have given him several "road maps" but he refuses to put in the effort it's going to take to turn things around.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I swear this is straight out of the difficult childs handbook. My son has said these same things to me many times over the years. I tried so hard to explain to my son that his attitude is one of the first things people see. It shows in your body language and also how you converse. I told him it's obvious you don't want to work and potential employers will pick up on that.</p><p>My son also went through many jobs, either quitting or getting fired. His response was always to "blame" the employer. I tried to get him to understand the common factor in all these jobs going bad was him!</p><p>I know how frustrating it is to deal with what you are going through.</p><p>I think you are handling it really well.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Again, taken straight out the difficult childs handbook.</p><p></p><p>You know that it's up to him to want to make the changes for himself. The sad thing is, he's just not seeing it.</p><p>Of course he's miserable and depressed. As long as he compares himself to others and continues to be in an "altered" state of mind he will continue to have a pity party.</p><p>Yes, the day will come that you and Jabber will make the decision to "liberate" him from your home. I do not like the term "thrown out". You are not throwing him out, you are liberating him so that he can move on with his own life and you and Jabber can move on with yours.</p><p></p><p>The biggest of hugs to you Lil. I really do know how hard this is, I've been there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 690821, member: 18516"] Lil, I think at this point feeling empty is very normal. You have given and given to him with him returning nothing but grief, so yes, that would leave anyone feeling empty. Yes he's lost but you and Jabber have given him several "road maps" but he refuses to put in the effort it's going to take to turn things around. I swear this is straight out of the difficult childs handbook. My son has said these same things to me many times over the years. I tried so hard to explain to my son that his attitude is one of the first things people see. It shows in your body language and also how you converse. I told him it's obvious you don't want to work and potential employers will pick up on that. My son also went through many jobs, either quitting or getting fired. His response was always to "blame" the employer. I tried to get him to understand the common factor in all these jobs going bad was him! I know how frustrating it is to deal with what you are going through. I think you are handling it really well. Again, taken straight out the difficult childs handbook. You know that it's up to him to want to make the changes for himself. The sad thing is, he's just not seeing it. Of course he's miserable and depressed. As long as he compares himself to others and continues to be in an "altered" state of mind he will continue to have a pity party. Yes, the day will come that you and Jabber will make the decision to "liberate" him from your home. I do not like the term "thrown out". You are not throwing him out, you are liberating him so that he can move on with his own life and you and Jabber can move on with yours. The biggest of hugs to you Lil. I really do know how hard this is, I've been there. [/QUOTE]
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