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General Parenting
I am an adult with ODD. AMA.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 763207" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Hello Andreia and welcome. I’m sorry you are having to deal with a teen with ODD. Contrary to what some believe, I don’t think that just because a teen or young person is diagnosed with ODD that it will always negatively impact them for life. At least, not in the way it affects a child.</p><p></p><p>In my case, my daughter, now 34 (and not the child who brought me here), was diagnosed with ODD as a youngster. She was angry, argumentative, and couldn’t stand to hear the word “no.” But she mostly reserved her disagreeable behavior for the home and was a perfect student in school. I had more battles with her than I care to remember! We later found out that she had anxiety and that often contributed to her out of sorts behavior. She never got into drugs or in any kind of trouble and in fact, graduated as valedictorian of her high school.</p><p></p><p>She will probably always be argumentative. She would make a great lawyer, and in fact has considered law as a career and may return to school later. Good for her—it suits her personality. But as she has grown into a responsible adult, she is kind, has a good job and is loving towards her family, who she acted like she hated when she was younger. Some of the behaviors that are so disagreeable in an immature child turn into leadership skills in an adult with the onset of some maturity.</p><p></p><p>Teens go through stages. The young brain is still developing and sometimes, with the onset of maturity, they can do a complete turn-around. I don’t mean to give false hope here, but just want you to know that what affects them as a child doesn’t always have to affect them as an adult. There have been other posts on this board recently that indicate the same premise. Read about when the ”good” child goes bad.</p><p></p><p>I would recommend family counseling, strong boundaries, and always consequences for inappropriate behavior. You will have many battles, I’m sure. And I hope that as she matures, those negative behaviors will recede. They may not, but by creating strong boundaries early on, you have begun to prepare yourself in the event that her oppositional behavior continues or gets worse as an adult. I hope drugs are not involved—that brings a whole other level of problems because drugs alter the brain’s chemistry and change the personality. And of course, they’re addictive.</p><p></p><p>Please continue to post here and seek advice from the many wise parents on this board. It would be helpful to know a little more about your situation too. There are lots of moms and dads here who have been through similar experiences and can lend support. We’ve been there and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 763207, member: 23742"] Hello Andreia and welcome. I’m sorry you are having to deal with a teen with ODD. Contrary to what some believe, I don’t think that just because a teen or young person is diagnosed with ODD that it will always negatively impact them for life. At least, not in the way it affects a child. In my case, my daughter, now 34 (and not the child who brought me here), was diagnosed with ODD as a youngster. She was angry, argumentative, and couldn’t stand to hear the word “no.” But she mostly reserved her disagreeable behavior for the home and was a perfect student in school. I had more battles with her than I care to remember! We later found out that she had anxiety and that often contributed to her out of sorts behavior. She never got into drugs or in any kind of trouble and in fact, graduated as valedictorian of her high school. She will probably always be argumentative. She would make a great lawyer, and in fact has considered law as a career and may return to school later. Good for her—it suits her personality. But as she has grown into a responsible adult, she is kind, has a good job and is loving towards her family, who she acted like she hated when she was younger. Some of the behaviors that are so disagreeable in an immature child turn into leadership skills in an adult with the onset of some maturity. Teens go through stages. The young brain is still developing and sometimes, with the onset of maturity, they can do a complete turn-around. I don’t mean to give false hope here, but just want you to know that what affects them as a child doesn’t always have to affect them as an adult. There have been other posts on this board recently that indicate the same premise. Read about when the ”good” child goes bad. I would recommend family counseling, strong boundaries, and always consequences for inappropriate behavior. You will have many battles, I’m sure. And I hope that as she matures, those negative behaviors will recede. They may not, but by creating strong boundaries early on, you have begun to prepare yourself in the event that her oppositional behavior continues or gets worse as an adult. I hope drugs are not involved—that brings a whole other level of problems because drugs alter the brain’s chemistry and change the personality. And of course, they’re addictive. Please continue to post here and seek advice from the many wise parents on this board. It would be helpful to know a little more about your situation too. There are lots of moms and dads here who have been through similar experiences and can lend support. We’ve been there and we care. [/QUOTE]
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