I am scared of this feeling.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jody, Aug 10, 2017.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Today has been a very different day. I have two new jobs. One I started two weeks ago, love it. Having a hard time working full time. Getting ready to go back to the hospital er room working the overnight shift every weekend, as a registrar. So I will be working seven days a week. Today, I had a random guy at the gas station say to me, as I was getting my 44 ounces of mt dew, that that's a great way to get healthy, drinking that soda, he muttered something about losing weight. Yes really, dealing with my daughter is exhausting compounded with two new jobs and job expectations and training, I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything to him. Then on my lunch I check my Facebook and a old coworker who I thought of as a friend, typed about how bad a job I did filing, and why did I even both to go to work if I wasn't going to do it right. I have good work ethics and tried to clean up that mess I walked into when I started. I'm writing this exhausted, been wondering if I'm seriously Ill. I'm weak, feel real strange. Now worrying if I'm a hypochondriac or if being exhausted mentally, can make you feel like this. I was too tired to sit on the porch with my dog. How can it be possible for that to happen. Oh my god, what do I do. I need these jobs, both pay much more than I have been making. I need to be in a better place. Omg I'm sorry just need some support. Ugh weakness
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    You are doing your best during a difficult time. Even with two jobs, you still need to take care of your self. Especially with two jobs.

    Try to find little chunks of time for you... Try meditation... Hot baths... Short walks... Music...

    You got this!
     
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  3. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Jody mental fatigue can lead to physical pain and depression. Do try to wean off the dew....I had to pull way back on the wine consumption .....becoming a alcoholic because of an addict D.C. Was not where I wanted to be. Weight can be a burden ....I know as I got real big with all this stress. I have lost weight ....still need to exercise more. It's very hard to care for yourself, with so much else going on. The. Bottom line is self Care is not selfish care.

    You don't need to lose a lot of weight or go all Jane Fonda (shows my age), losing 15 -20 pounds can improve all health parameters significantly. Start walking with your fur baby.

    If you are too low to take care of yourself consider that you have battle fatigue and perhaps even depression. Get yourself taken care of please. I know what it's like to be low. I went head long into a clinical depression when I realized my son was doing more than pot and also selling. I now only work part time and need to get back to full time work.

    A coworker should not be disrespecting your work on FB are there not laws that protect you from such unethical behavior?

    Love yourself and allow yourself to be low but don't set up shop there ok!!?
     
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  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jody, working two jobs and dealing with a child with ADHD and depression is exhausting. Of course you feel tired. Starting one new job can be anxiety producing, but two, an overnight shift every weekend and working 7 days a week!! Yikes. Unless you are wearing a cape I can't see, you are not Wonder Woman......it sounds to me as if your expectations of yourself are just too high. Give yourself a break.......you're doing the very best you can, allow yourself to be tired when you are and just relax into it.

    The other part about the random dude commenting on your purchase and weight is a crummy thing to go thru, as is the former coworker commenting on FB........I'm sure all of it hurt your feelings, it would mine.....however, I try to remember this when I encounter cruelty or rudeness in others...."what they think of me is none of MY business." I heard that years ago and it made sense to me.....let it go Jody, let their ignorance go......it can only harm you if you let it, don't let it. You'll never see the rude dude again and you can certainly say something to the "friend" on FB, or just recognize she may not be a friend, but simply a discourteous former co-worker. You don't need toxic people around you.

    It sounds to me like you need a break. Even if it's just some "head space" where you can just be.....read.....take a bath.....hang out with a friend....have your nails done.....whatever nurtures you and gives you pleasure.

    I think we mothers push ourselves too hard, expect too much of ourselves and as a result are often depleted, exhausted, always tired and running on empty. Make sure you get adequate sleep, eat a healthy diet, get some kind of exercise and do things that bring you joy. It's up to us to care for ourselves in a manner that lifts us up and rejuvenates us.....give yourself time to relax and find some peace.
     
  5. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you for the replies, I just needed some kindness today, you made me cry just reading it. Thank you, I think I can have my moment and get up and start fresh tomorrow. Will reread all of your kind post a couple more times, so your words and thoughts can sink in before I sleep. I know I sound like I feel. Will do better tomorrow.
     
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  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I second that.
     
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Stress, coupled with physical illness, will totally wear you down. I'm balancing on the edge as we speak, between chronic pain that's not improving (three years!), and the little things coming at me all the time, that I SHOULD be able to handle because they're little things, but OMG they build up and everything is feeling so, so hard right now.

    Dude at the gas station? He's an ass, you know that, just from the comment. Not his business. Your co-worker? I would probably have something not so polite to say about that. Hope you can get a good night's peaceful and restful sleep, and that tomorrow is better. Hugs.
     
  8. Nessie

    Nessie Member

    I have spent the last year thinking there was something really wrong with me. Lots of symptoms physically and changes in my mental outlook. There were times when I really thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown and maybe I did.

    Eventually I went to the doctor and discovered my thyroid was under active, I am waiting for the medications to start working but I feel much better. There have been times when I truely didn't care about my health and felt no joy in anything. I know it is really hard but you have to put yourself first and concentrate on what you need. I felt extremely paranoid at work, anything colleagues said bothered me. There were times when I felt I couldn't face work. I still get those days but have a quiet word with myself!

    Please focus on you. There will always be some mean people around that manage to make us feel awful with off hand comments, ignore them as they must have pretty awful lives if they behave this way. Sending lots of love and thoughts x x x
     
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  9. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    With all you have going on it's not wonder you have no energy.

    When was the last time you had a full physical? Stress can wreak havoc on our health and energy. As for the man at the gas station and your "friend" on FB, please don't give any of your precious energy to them. People can say things that are cruel, whether true or not, it does not make it right. If either one of these people had to walk in your shoes for a month they would run screaming!

    The best thing you can do for you is take care of yourself. I manage my stress with Yoga and exercise. I also am very careful with what I eat as it can have a negative effect on my mood and over all feeling like crap. I still will indulge my sweet tooth once in a while but without fail, the next day I feel awful, my brain is foggy and I have no energy.

    You are a rock star to be working two jobs but please, please take care of you!!

    ((HUGS))
     
  10. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Hi Jody

    I took this year to get myself healthier in mind and body. I started eating a healthy lunch at my desk and walking 2 miles during lunch with another girl I met in my building. We walk in the winter too inside the parking garage - I'm in Chicago so it gets real cold! The walking has helped both of us get through some bad times and really is a stress reducer and is good for you too. I can now say that I am addicted to it! We both are and we push each other. The best part is we both lost weight and that's just a bonus.

    You also may want to have your Vitamin D checked. If it is low it can make you feel extremely exhausted. I found that mine was way below the lowest level and once I was put on a dosage my energy level soared. It is something they never used to test for but I'm so glad they did.

    I think you should block your "friend" on FaceBook. I wouldn't want anyone like that associated with me in any way. Oh and the guy, ya he is not worth your time.

    Everyone offered great advice. You have to get to your happy place...somehow.
     
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