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Parent Emeritus
I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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<blockquote data-quote="Ascending" data-source="post: 762489" data-attributes="member: 29778"><p>Next stage was he started asking if he could come over for just a while for a shower and promising to be quiet. (Quiet being only a minimal part of whole issue.) </p><p></p><p>I managed to say No. Not nearly as strongly and firmly as I would have liked, but at least didn’t let him come right on back in. I think it was more like maybe at some point, but not now. In a further text message not caught unexpectedly on phone I was more clear: “Because your behavior went way too far and violated house rules and my personal boundaries, you may not come here for some time, and not until certain requirements are met, which I will explain in more detail in future as I am able to do so. I am writing now so that you will know this, and can make plans for your future, ...” This was in context of that he had an upcoming job applicants Zoom I knew about, and I wanted to head off a last minute plea that he needed to be let in for shower, clean clothes, whatever, for his Zoom. </p><p></p><p>Then his replacement driver license did come and I told him I was leaving it in the mailbox (which is not on our property) where he could get it, which he did. </p><p></p><p>Then he asked for belongings to be gathered for him. And my reply that I would need some time and probably more than one trip due to leg crutches etc was where his “duh” reply came. To which I replied that I expect to be spoken to and treated with respect, kindness, gentleness. </p><p></p><p>Then yesterday I did gather several bags of his stuff and left it outside my front gate for his friend to pick up for him. I don’t know yet if the pick up did happen. I will see when I next have to go down since I don’t want to do extra walking on the crutches. </p><p></p><p>Son texted to explain that friend was at work so pick up would be after work. I wrote back along lines of “good for friend” re working, and that if Son wants to discuss his own job search and related that I would generally be available by text or phone for that. (No reply from him to that as yet.) </p><p></p><p>You are now caught up to present!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ascending, post: 762489, member: 29778"] Next stage was he started asking if he could come over for just a while for a shower and promising to be quiet. (Quiet being only a minimal part of whole issue.) I managed to say No. Not nearly as strongly and firmly as I would have liked, but at least didn’t let him come right on back in. I think it was more like maybe at some point, but not now. In a further text message not caught unexpectedly on phone I was more clear: “Because your behavior went way too far and violated house rules and my personal boundaries, you may not come here for some time, and not until certain requirements are met, which I will explain in more detail in future as I am able to do so. I am writing now so that you will know this, and can make plans for your future, ...” This was in context of that he had an upcoming job applicants Zoom I knew about, and I wanted to head off a last minute plea that he needed to be let in for shower, clean clothes, whatever, for his Zoom. Then his replacement driver license did come and I told him I was leaving it in the mailbox (which is not on our property) where he could get it, which he did. Then he asked for belongings to be gathered for him. And my reply that I would need some time and probably more than one trip due to leg crutches etc was where his “duh” reply came. To which I replied that I expect to be spoken to and treated with respect, kindness, gentleness. Then yesterday I did gather several bags of his stuff and left it outside my front gate for his friend to pick up for him. I don’t know yet if the pick up did happen. I will see when I next have to go down since I don’t want to do extra walking on the crutches. Son texted to explain that friend was at work so pick up would be after work. I wrote back along lines of “good for friend” re working, and that if Son wants to discuss his own job search and related that I would generally be available by text or phone for that. (No reply from him to that as yet.) You are now caught up to present! [/QUOTE]
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I called 911 last week re my 20 yo. Looking for support and suggestions going forward
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