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I do not want to be so afraid anymore.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 690556" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This thread already is teaching me so much. Thank you everybody.</p><p>This is true. I had a long and intense therapy when I was young. The thing that emerged most forcefully about me, was my investment in relationship. I really adore people, but I fear them. </p><p></p><p>It is interesting to me that I fear my coworkers, but not the people whom I serve in my work. What I can think about is, one, I am more guarded and defended against one group, and not the other. For example, I do not so easily let the loving feelings, the forgiving feelings in with coworkers. I see the worst, not the best. And with the people I serve, it is the reverse.</p><p>Pigless, my mother was the most confident of people. She craved attention and never, ever that I saw held herself at fault or to blame, or in any way lacking. I am the reverse. Gee. I wonder if that means anything?</p><p>Good idea, Pigless. I have a number of scarves. I will make it a point to wear one unless I am stopped (it is a prison after all, and I have been warned before that I make it too tempting to strangle me.</p><p></p><p>Now this is the most interesting thing of all. The words used about me that I remember as having the most impact are: arrogant and intense!!!</p><p></p><p>I mean, what is wrong with this picture? What does this mean? <em>Aloof, intense, arrogant.</em> These are not adjectives describing powerless dingbats.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 690556, member: 18958"] This thread already is teaching me so much. Thank you everybody. This is true. I had a long and intense therapy when I was young. The thing that emerged most forcefully about me, was my investment in relationship. I really adore people, but I fear them. It is interesting to me that I fear my coworkers, but not the people whom I serve in my work. What I can think about is, one, I am more guarded and defended against one group, and not the other. For example, I do not so easily let the loving feelings, the forgiving feelings in with coworkers. I see the worst, not the best. And with the people I serve, it is the reverse. Pigless, my mother was the most confident of people. She craved attention and never, ever that I saw held herself at fault or to blame, or in any way lacking. I am the reverse. Gee. I wonder if that means anything? Good idea, Pigless. I have a number of scarves. I will make it a point to wear one unless I am stopped (it is a prison after all, and I have been warned before that I make it too tempting to strangle me. Now this is the most interesting thing of all. The words used about me that I remember as having the most impact are: arrogant and intense!!! I mean, what is wrong with this picture? What does this mean? [I]Aloof, intense, arrogant.[/I] These are not adjectives describing powerless dingbats. [/QUOTE]
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I do not want to be so afraid anymore.
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