First the good (great) news: My son is 60+ days clean and looking and sounding happier and healthier than I have seen him in a long time. You have no idea how proud and happy I am for him. But the bad news: Something in our "relationship DNA" is defective and I don't think it can ever be fixed. He continues to be arrogant and condescending towards me. He is quick to correct my choice of words regardless how nitpicky and insignificant the "mistake" is (when I was talking about an apartment we used to live in he "corrected" me and said we didn't live in an apartment, we lived in a duplex. To me an apartment is an apartment whether in a duplex or large complex. And who cares what word I call it?) This was within 10 or 15 minutes after he got here yesterday. He continues to be inconsiderate of my feelings, needs, or wants, even in my home. We went somewhere with his friend who drives a 2-door convertible and I had to sit in the back seat (which is difficult for me to get in and out of with my lymphedema and problems that are developing in one of my hips) saying he was too tall to sit in the back. I think he could have endured a 5 minute car ride, if it had been a long road trip that would have been different. And to top it off, the car's speakers are in the back and he put music (or what he calls music) on so loud it was hurting my ears and got offended when I asked him to turn it down. And even here at my home he was watching Youtube videos on my TV and acted offended when I asked him to turn down the volume. Etc etc etc. I love him very very much and I know he loves me but I also know that for whatever reason he doesn't see me worthy of basic courtesy and respect. At one point today I could tell he was tired and offered to buy him a Red Bull. He asked if I would get him something from Starbucks instead, and said he would get a discount because he works at a Starbucks in St. Augustine. Sure, no problem. So I gave him the money and when we went through the drive through he gave the guy at the window his employee ID or something and the guy gave him the coffee for free! First, he didn't even say thank you, and then he put the money I gave him in his pocket. $4 I think it was, and really not a big deal...he won't get his first paycheck until Tuesday, and if he had asked if he could just keep the $4 I would have said yes without a second thought. I didn't say anything to him but it bothered me that he was presumptuous enough to pocket the money without even asking if I wanted it back or not. I don't see this ever changing, and the next time he calls asking if he can come home for an overnight (he gets one a week now that he's completed the first 30 days at the recovery home) I won't be so quick to say yes. Also, I know this will sound dramatic on my part, but you hear stories all the time of adult children neglecting, taking advantage of, and outright abusing their elderly parents. The way my son behaves around me now makes me think that if I ever had to live with him as an elderly and/or disabled woman, I might find myself in one of those situations. Dramatic or not, it's got me worried and I'm trying to figure out a way to protect myself from that eventuality but I have yet to come up with a solution. Anyway thanks for letting me vent. I'm ready to put more distance between us, because obviously the issues between us go far deeper than drug addiction, although certainly his addiction has exascerbated things. Would love to hear from other parents whose adult children treat them like they're insignificant beings...and is it more common among children who were raised by a single parent, particularly a mother?