I guess things are getting back to "normal"

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by LauraH, Mar 11, 2019.

  1. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    My son called me today and from the git go you could hear anger, animosity, and belligerence in his voice. "The staff here is a bunch of effing b'es. I'm on effing isolation (he's contracted MRSA) and nobody even effing told me until I came out of my effing room and they made me effing go back. And they won't give me an effing discharge without a secured placement in an effing treatment or rehab center." Whew!!

    I gently suggested he try to calm down and perhaps not drop as many f-bombs. His response was "Well if you don't like me saying "eff" then I'll just let you go and I won't call you anymore. Is that what you want?" i said "Of course not."
    "Then what's the effing problem?" (I sighed inwardly.) I (still gently) reminded him that he's where he is because of what he did and because he needs help. His response? "You know what, I don't have effing time for this. I need to go." And he hung up. (Doesn't have time? He has such a busy agenda going on there in the hospital?)

    I called back and asked to speak to a nurse or case worker and I'm waiting for a return call. This is just one more nail in the coffin of his being allowed to come to my home for anything other than to pick up his belongings.

    I have three possible theories: Maybe he's going through withdrawals from the meth and/or the pills he swallowed the other night. Or maybe the ex smuggled something up to him and he's using. Or maybe he's just being a jerk because he's not being treated like royalty. Regardless, I don't deserve and won't tolerate that type of disrespect. I admit, I drop the f-bomb on occasion but it's usually for emphasis and/or out of frustration but not directed at any person and my sentences aren't peppered with them, every other word or so.
     
  2. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    My husband reminded me of a possible fourth theory. His nurse last night told him that he would not be discharged without a confirmable plan for followup and a secure and safe place to stay, preferably a facility. But she also told him that if he dug in his heels and demanded to be discharged, they *might* give him a discharge with a note on his record that it was against his team's recommendation. WTH would she tell him that? As soon as she said that, I could just see him throwing a fit demanding immediate discharge. Looks like he had her fooled into believing he seriously wants help because up until today he's been docile and charming.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2019
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Oh my gosh. I'm tired just reading your post. How emotionally draining.

    Is there any way you can just turn your phone off?
     
  4. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    No, I'm waiting for a call back from a case worker and/or nurse on his team, and I'm texting with a friend who says he wants to go to Nar-Anon with me this evening. He hasn't tried to call back, though, not yet anyway. I'm pretty sure that if he's acting out to get an early discharge and succeeds, someone will call to let me know (I hope!!) And yes I am actually feeling "not bad" in spirit but I am emotionally drained. I need to buck up and try to snap out of it, though. I have things I need to do and so far today all I've managed is to get a load of laundry done.

    The time change isn't helping either, until I get used to the difference. I woke up thinking it was 5 or 6 this morning and it was actually 7...although it was 6 48 hours prior. Ugh...I love DST because it stays lighter later but it's hard to get up at my regular time while I'm adjusting.
     
  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Do you work Laura?

    That was always a good way to get my mind on something else.
     
  6. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    I work from home, but it's freelance and I can set my own hours with no repercussions. It's extremely hard to focus when my son is here or when something like this is going on. But I'm fine, mostly. Just apprehensive about how he will act and react when he learns he can't stay here anymore and apprehensive about what could happen if once he's out of the hospital he shows up at my door unannounced.
     
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  7. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    Laura, I am amazed that you will still take his calls at all. I understand you are worried about him. But wow... No way about having the fword being thrown at me. I hung up as soon as that came out of my sons mouth and i don't hear it anymore. NO way am I being abused anymore. Maybe you should tell him Your sob story.. I can't make y bills, I have a headache, my son is an addict etc... then he will say,,,fine don't feel bad about me , turn it around. you won't hear from me anymore. MANIPULATION.
     
  8. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    When I've had similar conversations with my daughter I hang up and don't take her calls for awhile. I've gone more than a month refusing calls. I don't speak with her again until I feel like it and if she talks to me that way again I will immediately hang up. That was the only way I could establish boundaries with her behavior when I finally got fed up. I sometimes need to give myself a break from her to refocus on myself and remember her issues are HER issues, not mine. I really hope you will think about giving no contact a try. I think it would be helpful to you.