Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have lost my son for good I think
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 759950" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am in Nar Anon and.know a man who is in the same group with me (because his son is an addict) who had gotten off drugs at 37 and he is now in his 60s. Interestingly he did not get clean until his parents died. He doesn't say why but that interests me. But....he.is clean although his child is not.</p><p></p><p>People get clean at all ages but they have to want to. My own daughter doesn't want to and she.us.in her 30s. I can't force her and I have already grieved. I joined Nar Anon and got into therapy too and my life is good again, even though she.is still unwilling to quit. She is homeless with her horrible husband in another state. The distance helps me. It was worse when I saw her every day.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure that like me you have other loved ones who want you to be happy, and you do have yourself to care about. These adults of ours, who are like children, can suck all the oxygen.out of our world so that there is only them and only our heartbreak. Until we learn how to detach with love and put the focus on ourselves and taking care of us first, we suffer badly. We can only change one person....that is us. We can't even change a beloved child. Our being constantly sad for them doesn't make them better. So caring for ourselves first is very important and NOT selfish. I thought it was when I first heard that idea, but it's not.</p><p></p><p>I send love and.prayers to you and your son. Try to get help to learn coping skills...we all need that. A good book is Codependent No More by Melodie Bestie. A great read. I highly suggest Nar Anon and/or private therapy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 759950, member: 23706"] I am in Nar Anon and.know a man who is in the same group with me (because his son is an addict) who had gotten off drugs at 37 and he is now in his 60s. Interestingly he did not get clean until his parents died. He doesn't say why but that interests me. But....he.is clean although his child is not. People get clean at all ages but they have to want to. My own daughter doesn't want to and she.us.in her 30s. I can't force her and I have already grieved. I joined Nar Anon and got into therapy too and my life is good again, even though she.is still unwilling to quit. She is homeless with her horrible husband in another state. The distance helps me. It was worse when I saw her every day. I'm sure that like me you have other loved ones who want you to be happy, and you do have yourself to care about. These adults of ours, who are like children, can suck all the oxygen.out of our world so that there is only them and only our heartbreak. Until we learn how to detach with love and put the focus on ourselves and taking care of us first, we suffer badly. We can only change one person....that is us. We can't even change a beloved child. Our being constantly sad for them doesn't make them better. So caring for ourselves first is very important and NOT selfish. I thought it was when I first heard that idea, but it's not. I send love and.prayers to you and your son. Try to get help to learn coping skills...we all need that. A good book is Codependent No More by Melodie Bestie. A great read. I highly suggest Nar Anon and/or private therapy. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I have lost my son for good I think
Top