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Substance Abuse
I have lost my son for good I think
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 759960" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hopeful parent, I am sorry there is not more outside help. My family is a quiet calm one. They are quietly there for us when they want to be and offer much comfort. On the other hand, although they never criticize us or Kay, they also change the subject gracefully if she is brought up. This is their way of saying "She is wrong so we won't discuss it." That's what they do. So we cope without extended family support.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I find reading books or audiobooks, especially about codependence, were very helpful. That was the first time I realized that I put everyone else's needs before mine, that this isn't good for anyone or me and that....I can't control other people. I guess I once felt I could at least be a good influence if I never let people suffer consequences and spoke my mind about right and wrong. But I learned, as much from books as therapy, that I have no control over anyone but myself. It was a shock to my system and at first I found that depressing. But now it's comforting. I don't feel like I caused it anymore. I am free of guilt MOST of the time.</p><p></p><p>I do not think about hope. I don't NOT have hope either. But I deal with the reality one day at a time. I don't focus on the future or past. I can't change the past and done know the future so I let the story unfold every minute of every day. This has curtailed my anxiety in all affairs, even during COVID!</p><p></p><p>In Nar Anon we say "What we may not be able to stand for a year, we can stand for one day." That's how I learned to keep my thoughts on NOW.</p><p></p><p>If God is in your life that can also help. If not, maybe nature makes you calm....find something that makes you feel your best and spend time with it. Lots!</p><p></p><p>Hugs and love <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🌹" title="Rose :rose:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f339.png" data-shortname=":rose:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 759960, member: 23706"] Hopeful parent, I am sorry there is not more outside help. My family is a quiet calm one. They are quietly there for us when they want to be and offer much comfort. On the other hand, although they never criticize us or Kay, they also change the subject gracefully if she is brought up. This is their way of saying "She is wrong so we won't discuss it." That's what they do. So we cope without extended family support. I find reading books or audiobooks, especially about codependence, were very helpful. That was the first time I realized that I put everyone else's needs before mine, that this isn't good for anyone or me and that....I can't control other people. I guess I once felt I could at least be a good influence if I never let people suffer consequences and spoke my mind about right and wrong. But I learned, as much from books as therapy, that I have no control over anyone but myself. It was a shock to my system and at first I found that depressing. But now it's comforting. I don't feel like I caused it anymore. I am free of guilt MOST of the time. I do not think about hope. I don't NOT have hope either. But I deal with the reality one day at a time. I don't focus on the future or past. I can't change the past and done know the future so I let the story unfold every minute of every day. This has curtailed my anxiety in all affairs, even during COVID! In Nar Anon we say "What we may not be able to stand for a year, we can stand for one day." That's how I learned to keep my thoughts on NOW. If God is in your life that can also help. If not, maybe nature makes you calm....find something that makes you feel your best and spend time with it. Lots! Hugs and love 🌹 [/QUOTE]
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I have lost my son for good I think
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