I have one problem with this site...

[lovemysons]

You are SO right Janet...I do that alot regarding before oldest difficult child went to prison and now after...it's like night and day with him now. He is EVEN becoming the authority on how my life should be run, what I should be doing with my time or money, lol. Just today he was gettin on to me about some cobwebs on a lampshade at our house...something he noticed when he was the other day for his b-day. He's become quite the perfectionist I think. I know he and his girlfriend have a "showroom" quality apartment that's for sure. Although I guess he was always kinda of a "girly guy" when it came to his appearance, lol, least that's how my easy child would describe him. But ya there have been marked changes in him since his time in prison.

DDD...I feel like we "know" each others hearts and minds ya know. I've always thought of you as such an optomistic happy person, even after all you've been through with easy child/difficult child, difficult child, and difficult child mom. You're also a GREAT cook, smile. Soo, I do kinda Know you even though we've never met. You're a dear person, I know that.

PurpleJonsie,
Wow...that's quite an update. I can't believe all you've been through with your difficult child and he's only 10. I am so sorry. And him hitting you...that goes over my head. Neither of my difficult child's ever went that far...course if they DID no telling what husband would do, yikes! Now, I was told F U plenty of times and that sort of thing which I NEVER would say to my mom when I was a teen...and I would say that I was a difficult child teen for sure.

I think this camp and alternative living arrangement/school come fall sounds like a good idea. I know you said you tried all these medications and none worked. Did you, by chance, ever try Abilify with difficult child? That is what I take and OMG what a relief from emotional intensity, depression, anger, etc. It really has helped me so much.

I hear what you're saying about the affect a difficult child has on a easy child. My easy child for awhile would be in a zone after some drama with her difficult child brothers....literally it was like I was looking at her and she was someplace else. She said it was a defense mechanism...she had to escape all the stress, pain, pressure in some way. She doesn't do this anymore since her brothers moved out. She still wants to become a psychologis and I think she'll make a good one. But she has little tolerance for people who feel especially sorry for themselves or create their own drama. She DOES feel deeply for sick, mistreated or injured people just not people that cause their own misery, ya know.

Oh, you asked whatever happend to Miss Snooty Booty, lol. Well, a couple of yrs ago I ran into her at an AA meeting. She was clearly a leader of sorts in that group of people too. I think she finally got her act together.

Anyway, it's great to see you again...hang around, get to know us again. You know you want to, smile.

Love and hugs,
Tammy

 

[FlipFlops]

medications we have tried: Abilify, strattera, concerta, risperdal, seroquel, depakote, pristiq, adderall, lexapro........ I would have to look at medication records to tell you the rest of them. I know I am missing a few. You can see why.
My difficult child is an ordeal. I'm just tired of it. We have an org working with us now called MST (Multi Systemic Therapy). They are through the court system. Our area is now doing Mental Health Courts also. For our situation it seems like it is mostly a joke. All they do is tell us all the typical parenting techniques. They are saying do A, B, and C. We are already on like H and working our way to Z. It sounded good in theory, but in reality, I am pretty sure placement is the only option now. He has not been physical with me since he came home from juvie 2-3 weeks ago, but it is probably only a matter of time. My easy child 1 had to make the calls to 911 the last couple of times and I know that has to take a toll on her emotionally.
LMS I am thrilled to hear things are on an upswing with difficult child 1. That is encouraging. And I probably am going to stick around here for awhile. I need friends. I am pretty isolated. I'm down to just one friend in real life, and that is only because we've known each other since 2nd grade. She has severely physically disabled kids, like discovery channel specials. So she and I can only pick each other up so much. We are both in sinking boats.

 

[mog]

Sorry that I haven't replied sooner. It took a lot to finally get an MST therapist but no one would tell us how to get one and it took difficult child getting into so much trouble in order to finally get one. We really like the lady that we are working with but keep in mind that it takes so many hours. When she comes she is here for about 3-4 hours and we see her two to three times a week not including all the hours on the phone reporting difficult child's issues and behavior but she goes with us to school IEP's, meetings with the JPO, court hearings, family therapy and individual therapy for each person still living in the house. Our therapist talks to us about all kinds of things that really help ME to deal with stuff since MOST of all the junk is dumped in my lap. If you would like to know more just let me know I will help you as much as I can because there are some things that you should becareful with.

 

[mog]

Sorry I do not know how to send you a private message. I don't get on very often and don't know how the system really works since it changed.

Sorry that I haven't replied sooner. It took a lot to finally get an MST therapist but no one would tell us how to get one and it took difficult child getting into so much trouble in order to finally get one. We really like the lady that we are working with but keep in mind that it takes so many hours. When she comes she is here for about 3-4 hours and we see her two to three times a week not including all the hours on the phone reporting difficult child's issues and behavior but she goes with us to school IEP's, meetings with the JPO, court hearings, family therapy and individual therapy for each person still living in the house. Our therapist talks to us about all kinds of things that really help ME to deal with stuff since MOST of all the junk is dumped in my lap. If you would like to know more just let me know I will help you as much as I can because there are some things that you should becareful with.