Alot has happened in the last couple of years. I got married to a wonderful man on 9/28/19. Which was really a gift from god. My problems with my older daughter still exist. I havent seen or spoken to her in close to 3 years. Sometimes it's a relief and sometimes it's my nightmare. I feel I will never be able to have a relationship with her but the worst of it is i dont see my grandson anymore. It got harder and harder to get him so i just gave up. My heart breaks because I feel like he thinks I abandoned him and he dont understand. But my way of protecting myself from all the drama and hurt is to just detach myself from the situation. I know in my daughters mind it will always be my fault but I love my husband and I dont want to let all the drama back in. I just want to be happy and enjoy my life. My other 2 adult children are wonderful blessings to me. I am thankful for that. It just will always feel incomplete to me. I know my eldest has turned my 4 grandkids against me with her warped memories from the past. I dont have the strength to fight anymore. I just have to let go and let god.....I hope you are all doing well. Have a blessed day.