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I seen my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759926" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless</p><p></p><p>I am wondering if that high-paying new job really existed. Oh. Maybe there was an ad. But was there a commitment, a promise, somehow I doubt it. Maybe he used the idea of the job to manipulate others or himself. Who knows? It doesn't matter really. He is a big container cargo ship in the ocean. It takes many, many miles to change course let alone to turn around. His manifest actions and his MO are to be a bad boy. Just like my son. There may be blips of a good boy. But how can they change the course of a ship that is the size of 2 or 3 football fields?</p><p></p><p>RN's son is our model of what it takes: A year-long faith-based program, away from family and friends; and after that tentative searching until after two to three years, a new history is created.</p><p></p><p>That's what it takes. Oh. There are other variations of this. Prison, for example, can be the launching point for a new life. If the experience is taken in a certain way.</p><p></p><p>Helpless, your son is step by step making his situation harder and less ambiguous. He needs help--not your help--but the system's help. He needs to be locked up again. </p><p></p><p>He keeps digging himself in deeper because this is who he is now. These acts are not accidents or errors or mistakes. He is acting from who he is.</p><p></p><p>It will take time and work for him to make himself into somebody different. When he decides or accepts help to do so. Right now he doesn't want to. He only wants to be saved, to be bailed out--for his mistakes. He wants others to be responsible for the things he has either chosen or has come to by his lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>Helpless. I understand the grief and fear. I live it too. I think the only response to him if he calls right now is for him to directly confront the legal consequences and the reality that he has acted in such a way that all doors are closed to him, except for him to accept the consequences of his lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>I think the PO would help him, either by taking him back into custody or helping to find a living situation where he can stabilize. Maybe the court would allow him to go to Job Corps as an alternative to incarceration. We are probably very close to their opening again to new people. I hope.</p><p></p><p>Helpless. I am so sorry this is so hard.</p><p></p><p>Love, Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759926, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless I am wondering if that high-paying new job really existed. Oh. Maybe there was an ad. But was there a commitment, a promise, somehow I doubt it. Maybe he used the idea of the job to manipulate others or himself. Who knows? It doesn't matter really. He is a big container cargo ship in the ocean. It takes many, many miles to change course let alone to turn around. His manifest actions and his MO are to be a bad boy. Just like my son. There may be blips of a good boy. But how can they change the course of a ship that is the size of 2 or 3 football fields? RN's son is our model of what it takes: A year-long faith-based program, away from family and friends; and after that tentative searching until after two to three years, a new history is created. That's what it takes. Oh. There are other variations of this. Prison, for example, can be the launching point for a new life. If the experience is taken in a certain way. Helpless, your son is step by step making his situation harder and less ambiguous. He needs help--not your help--but the system's help. He needs to be locked up again. He keeps digging himself in deeper because this is who he is now. These acts are not accidents or errors or mistakes. He is acting from who he is. It will take time and work for him to make himself into somebody different. When he decides or accepts help to do so. Right now he doesn't want to. He only wants to be saved, to be bailed out--for his mistakes. He wants others to be responsible for the things he has either chosen or has come to by his lifestyle. Helpless. I understand the grief and fear. I live it too. I think the only response to him if he calls right now is for him to directly confront the legal consequences and the reality that he has acted in such a way that all doors are closed to him, except for him to accept the consequences of his lifestyle. I think the PO would help him, either by taking him back into custody or helping to find a living situation where he can stabilize. Maybe the court would allow him to go to Job Corps as an alternative to incarceration. We are probably very close to their opening again to new people. I hope. Helpless. I am so sorry this is so hard. Love, Copa [/QUOTE]
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