If you really want to help your child read this

[hurting mother]

These words aren't going to resonate with everyone but for the one person who is determined to fight for your adult child I'm going to give you the only real answer that I know of. If you can't understand my words then you are far from God - as I once was. You can find God if you seek Him with your whole heart as others have done.

We are in a spiritual war. You can't see God or demons but they are real and they tempt with sin - drugs, alcohol, etc. I studied it for many years. Yes our child got involved in substances and all that comes with it. I have been through a lot. Our son did good until his divorce and his wife made his business collapse and he fell back into substances. However; I knew I wasn't living the way I was supposed to so "I" changed MYSELF FIRST. Remember this!

I rededicated myself to studying the Bible and my husband and I warfare prayed for our adult child who was drinking. Well his divorce went through and he moved back with us to get on his feet and he COMPLETELY STOPPED DRINKING AND IT'S BEEN MONTHS. He's completely normal.

Moreover, we began attending a small church where the outpouring of love towards our son could not have been more than we could have hoped or asked for. I knew it was God's answer. The smaller churches are often better. We're seeing our good son return. The people there just absolutely love him. (And what we all know, and which has been shown in studies, often the substance abuser IS A GOOD PERSON! OFTEN SOME OF THE BEST THIS WORLD HAS BEFORE THE SUBSTANCE CHANGES THEM.)

THIS IS WHAT YOUR ADULT CHILD NEEDS - LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE AND THEY'LL BECOME THE GOOD PERSON YOU'VE WANTED. Today's society is so toxic and sin-ridden that a healthy church is one of the few places where your adult child can flourish.

I hope and pray that these words will reach someone's heart who refuses to give up for your child. DON'T GIVE UP! FIGHT FOR THEM! Don't turn your back on them - they need YOU to guide them spiritually how to find God. Once they abuse alcohol or drugs they've opened the door to the demonic realm and the temptations come from within where the demonic have entered. I realize I'm talking over some heads on here but I only came back to try to help someone else. Many people are deceptive now, I am not. This is the truth. It's the unfortunate reality of the world we live in.

My son said something that confirmed that it was spiritual. He said he sat down and wondered where the suggestion was coming from to go drink, because he knew it wasn't him.

I'm not going to get into any arguments over this as I still have a lot to work on, but I knew how desperate I was to help one I love so much, and the secular has little to offer, and many are the blind leading the blind. I probably won't return but my prayer is that I reach someone. This is the REAL battle you and your child have been fighting.

Good luck.

 

[AddictionSucks123]

I understand. They call this a family disease for a reason. It affects all of us.

I don't always agree with the drug counselors that you have to hit bottom. Because I think hitting bottom can mean death. I gather everyone in the family and try to put together as many events as possible to make sure my son understands, we are all here for him and to remind him, what life is like sober and what is important. For a brief moment, I get my son back, and I am reminded of what a lovely soul he is.

As a society, we have become so isolated, so rigid, and so time limited for others, that we rarely make the time to connect and be engaged with even our loved ones. It is no wonder, more young adults are dying from suicide and accidents.

Spirituality means different things to different people, but the one thing, that resonates is companionship, fellowship, love and understanding of one another.

I am also, not blind to how addiction affects the brain, and no amount of love, compassion and prayer can fix all of the addiction related issues, but without support, we die.

I wish there were better treatments out there, from modulating behaviors, to lessening cravings, to addressing other mental health issues without treating our loved ones as prisoners, convicts, or people who don't matter. We know, in this forum, and other like this, our loved ones matter, so very much.

 

[Crayola13]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is another form of treatment. The 12-step programs have high failure rates. I think DBT is more effective, especially for addicts who have mental illness.