im not sure what her deal is

[pepsichic9115]

difficult child has decided she is going to hang out in her room. She wants everyone to leave her alone and if anyone trys to talk to her when she is in there she enters meltdown mode. It really seems like she is depressed. She has been on trileptal now for 2 months and it seems to help but the psychiatrist said if she's still appearing depressive that he will add welbutrin. But here's the thing. When she come out of her room on her own terms she seems almost manic. She is talking really fast and really loud, running all over getting into stuff, acting as if she is above any rule we have. I'm not sure what to think of all this.

 

[susiestar]

Is she doing something in her room she is not supposed to be doing? Wanting to be alone in his room, melting down at anything that "intruded" from the rest of the house, and then the frantic running around eager to get back to the room was ALWAYS a dead giveaway that something was going on in there. When was the last time you went through her room? Does she have a phone, computer, tv in there? What inappropriate things could she be doing?

 

[Sheila]

Sounds like she's rapid cycling to me. Maybe she needs her medications tweaked?

 

[pepsichic9115]

She has the computer in her room but there's nothing for her to do on it that she shouldn't do. Its not connected to the internet and it only has movies, music and games on it--all appropriate for any of the kids. She's just laying in there in the dark watching movies. But she wants to be left alone. She came out a while ago and got up in my face because I said she couldn't have ice cream. Then she tried coming out and being all cool like nothing happened and flipped again when I told her its time for bed.

 

[susiestar]

Are you 200% SURE that all she has on the computer is stuff you know about? It is extremely easy to get all kinds of stuff to put onto a computer. Even if she cannot go online she can get things from school, friends' houses, stores, even the library if she is sneaky enough.

Is she spending all day watching the screen, huddled in her room? Even if that is all she wants to do, it probably is not the best way to spend extended amounts of time. It is really easy to get your entire system out of whack by doing that. You may have to start insisting she do things in other areas of the house, or at least that she has no "screen time" available. If nothing else it lets her isolate herself and various social skills become out of practice. Tv, computer, other things with electronic screens can be addicting and this can really limit a person's life. If you allow her to spend all her time in her room watching screens then you will have a really unpleasant couple of weeks or a month when school starts. It isn't fun to drag them out away from screens and/or isolation, but it can make life easier in the long run for both of you.

What does her psychiatrist and her therapist say about this? What do your instincts tell you is going on? Is there any chance she could have gotten into drugs of any kind? Many times kids are introduced to drugs before their teen years. While it may not be a huge problem in your area, there is research that shows that many kids as early as 4th or 5th grade are offered drugs or have easy access to them. I know it is a problem in my community that is rapidly growing in that age group. (For some reason here it is the "good" elem school having the most noticeable problems. My son is in the "poor" elem school and we have almost no problem with the kids and drugs. Let's hear it for being in the "poor" school, lol!).

I didn't think trileptal was a first line mood stabilizer. I would want one added long before I let the doctor add welbutrin. Welbutrin is an antidepressant and they often cause cycling in people with bipolar. Some bipolar people need two mood stabilizers to keep their moods regulated. what other mood stabilizers has she tried? Many people seem to have great luck with lamictal. It is also used for patients with unipolar depression who have been depressed for a long time (my psychiatrist said it was intractable depression, but I don't know if it was just her word or one often used by psychiatrists.). Maybe that, or one of the other mood stabilizers would be helpful before an antidepressant is added.

Have you read "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous? It has an excellent section on medication protocols and info on specific medications and how they tend to work for children with bipolar. If you haven't read it recently it might help to look at it again. I usually have to reread the books every few months cause I forget stuff.

 

[pepsichic9115]

She was on depakote for several months but it didn't seem to help much. She was still doing some pretty heavy cycling. She was on abilify for awhile and it on its own did very little for her. The trileptal has helped with the moods considerably up until this last week when she started this whole hermit thing. I know for a fact there is nothing else on the computer. I moniter it closely and not even my husband can hide stuff on it from me.

We haven't seen her psychiatrist since he upped the trileptal from 900 to 1200 mg and that was about 3 weeks ago now. We see her therapist tomorrow but this is only the 2nd time meeting with her and last time difficult child refused to even talk to her so who knows what tomorrows appointment will bring. while we are in the office though I will ask about having her next psychiatrist appointment moved up

 

[smallworld]

Trileptal is a first-line mood stabilizer. Some kids with BiPolar (BP) need to go higher than 1200 mg. Some kids with BiPolar (BP) need to take Trileptal with an atypical antipsychotic (Risperdal, Seroquel, Abilify, Geodon, Zyprexa, Invega) to achieve mood stability. Unfortunately, it's a trial and error process.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Ours always hang out in their rooms - it is their sanctuary. Even easy child does. But when difficult child is home, we thank our lucky stars she hangs out there and we cringe when she comes down the stairs...gosh, that is so awful, but so true

 

[busywend]

Yup - it is typical for a teen to hole up in their rooms. It is their way of escaping the bonds us parent put on them - LOL!

You are sure she does not have a wireless card in her computer? She could be getting someone else's internet signal. Just a suggestion to check it out.

 

[pepsichic9115]

Well the computer is now out of her room. Dad got sick of her hiding out from her responsibilities.

The last two days she has followed me around---there is no happy medium. She refuses to go outside and play, she says there is nothing to do in her room now. I might have to go to the bookstore and find her some books!!

Summer is going to be so much fun here--at least her cousin invited her up to stay sometimes--maybe ill talk to my sister about this weekend. That will give me a little break.

 

[timer lady]

You poor sweetie ~ you're difficult child is at that wonderful age; puberty setting in messing with an already diagnosis'd mood disorder. I remember kt hitting this age & I thought I'd lose my mind (actually I'm not sure my mind is here with me).

When kt needed that alone time we allowed to a point; she had to come out for meals with family & family time in general. She could only stayed "holed up" for a couple of hours then she had to check in with me. kt didn't have a computer in her room but there was one in a common area upstairs near her room. She could use that with permission & had a set time before she needed to do her chores or something physical.

For the most part, this worked (given kt's incessant whining). Nothing was set in stone ~ I had to leave a great deal of room for compromise. Flexibility & being willing to parent differently then we were parented is key in my humble opinion to parenting a difficult child. Good luck & let us know how it's going.

 

[susiestar]

Excellent advice on the flexibility and different methods. Sometimes I think the entire reason I was given a difficult child was to develop my creativity and sense of the absurd.

Getting the computer out of her room will force her to spend some more time interacting with the family. Does she like to read? I often check out used book stores and garage sales for books for my kids. If they want a specific title or author we often look at it together in the bookstore and then order it online. Even with shipping costs I end up saving a bundle of $$. Libraries are helpful but ONLY if your child will return the books. I cannot afford the fines that my kids rack up at the library. For us it is actually cheaper to buy the books brand new than to use the library. (Talk about absurd!)

Does your library have any teen groups? Ours has a wonderful set of summer programs for kids with two different performing groups each week. They are mostly geared to the younger kids. We also have a film group, an anime club, and a couple of teen book clubs (including one just for vampire books!). Would she be willing to volunteer at the library if you signed her up? Often kids get a lot of perks for volunteering at the library.

Make sure you keep a journal of positive things that she does or participates in. When you are ready to pull your hair out it can really help if you look back through the journal. At least it would keep the key until he is locked up.

Lots of luck and a big bundle of hugs!!

 

[confuzzled]

if it helps you any, mine is the same age, and is very similar...not only doesnt want to leave her room, but has zero motivation for ANYTHING. (i'm slowly convincing myself either abilify is exacerbating the depression/anxiety, or not touching it with a ten foot pole--take your pick)

but susie is right---see if the library has any "clubs" for your daughter.

believe me, my eyes rolled at the thought of it too...

in our area most of the programs are geared to young children, but we got a new, young, hip librarian who is focused on "teens" and let me tell you--
i hit the motherload! anime club, gaming club, teen nights....all of which have a way bigger turnout than you'd think, and none of which were as lame as they sound...

my depressed, never wants to leave her room, difficult child 2 never wants to leave the library....its that fun. its the one bright spot in her life these days....i wish they did it every single day, LOL.

i'm actually hoping i can replace her social skills group with this library stuff :-D

 

[pepsichic9115]

difficult child went to spend the last 2 night at my sisters. It has been a much needed break for me. My 15 year old niece is the only person who can motivate her to do anything (although she lacks motivation often times also).

I know our library has teen clubs. difficult child participated in a kids club last year. She LOVES reading. Ill have to stop by and get a schedule and sit down and look it over with her and decide what she would most enjoy!!

Good ideas!! Thanks ladies!!