JayPee
Sending good vibes...
My oldest son, who is 32 yrs. old has given me a whirlwind of troubles since 18, drugs, verbal abuse, disrespect and so on. He was a model child and never gave us a stitch of trouble until he entered college.
Anyways, fast forward to the present. He's been homeless, living in his car (that I bought) and has been separated by me from time to time when is verbal, nasty abuse made me do so.
When he entered college, after being raised in our Catholic religion he turned to atheism and it nearly broke my heart. But as most all parents, I continued to pray. Not to make light of it but through the years that was almost the least of my concern because there were so many other problems.
I have helped him out financially to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars. I was able to stop but that has started up again.
He recently, I feel had a psychotic episode. Although, he denies it I think he was and may still be taking adderrall without the real need for it. I asked him and he denies it but his younger brother told me that he confessed to him that he was taking it. He seems to have had a huge conversion and believes in God now (after more than 15 yrs. of being a non-believer) but with this conversion and his "hearing" voices has come severe depression, he quit his job, has made amends with his father and brother (which is good and I never thought would happen) but he cries at the drop of a hat and is now clinging to me and my every free moment like I'm the end all and be all.
He wants to come to my home, shower, eat and spend time with me. He seems sincere about it but honestly, I'm exhausted from it. I can't be his savior, I can't be the one with all the answers and the very little money he has left is almost gone. He has an apartment (for now with other roommates) but he doesn't want to sleep there because he says his roommates are against him (part of his odd behavior). He's been spending time at my home (which I made clear he cannot ever live at) but he's infringing on my time for healing, rest and relaxation.
Am I wrong to put these boundaries in place to ask him to leave and/or not be with me every day after work? His behavior is so kind and sweet that it often causes me suspicion because his bad verbal angry behavior is so prominent in my thoughts. I worry if I'm not there to help him and lend and ear and some comfort that he could do something to harm himself. He will not see anyone for psychological help. I've already approached that subject and offered to go with him. He doesn't want anyone telling him what to do. Sigh.
I so would love some words from you all who I know I can gain courage and strenght from. I am an Al-anoner and I am delving back into it hard-core. My gut tells me I have to take care of myself first but I'm just so worried about his mental stability.
Anyways, fast forward to the present. He's been homeless, living in his car (that I bought) and has been separated by me from time to time when is verbal, nasty abuse made me do so.
When he entered college, after being raised in our Catholic religion he turned to atheism and it nearly broke my heart. But as most all parents, I continued to pray. Not to make light of it but through the years that was almost the least of my concern because there were so many other problems.
I have helped him out financially to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars. I was able to stop but that has started up again.
He recently, I feel had a psychotic episode. Although, he denies it I think he was and may still be taking adderrall without the real need for it. I asked him and he denies it but his younger brother told me that he confessed to him that he was taking it. He seems to have had a huge conversion and believes in God now (after more than 15 yrs. of being a non-believer) but with this conversion and his "hearing" voices has come severe depression, he quit his job, has made amends with his father and brother (which is good and I never thought would happen) but he cries at the drop of a hat and is now clinging to me and my every free moment like I'm the end all and be all.
He wants to come to my home, shower, eat and spend time with me. He seems sincere about it but honestly, I'm exhausted from it. I can't be his savior, I can't be the one with all the answers and the very little money he has left is almost gone. He has an apartment (for now with other roommates) but he doesn't want to sleep there because he says his roommates are against him (part of his odd behavior). He's been spending time at my home (which I made clear he cannot ever live at) but he's infringing on my time for healing, rest and relaxation.
Am I wrong to put these boundaries in place to ask him to leave and/or not be with me every day after work? His behavior is so kind and sweet that it often causes me suspicion because his bad verbal angry behavior is so prominent in my thoughts. I worry if I'm not there to help him and lend and ear and some comfort that he could do something to harm himself. He will not see anyone for psychological help. I've already approached that subject and offered to go with him. He doesn't want anyone telling him what to do. Sigh.
I so would love some words from you all who I know I can gain courage and strenght from. I am an Al-anoner and I am delving back into it hard-core. My gut tells me I have to take care of myself first but I'm just so worried about his mental stability.