Is your home organized and comfortable?

[CareTooMuch]

I have one huge plastic tub in our little walk in attic filled with some necessity type things, used but in good shape towels, curtains, sheets blankets... for when D moves out, hopefully relatively soon. I've also kept some small furniture that he can take also. I'll give it some time before I get rid of it because it's not cluttering another space. I spent an hour a few nights ago cleaning out the small attic and will make sure to finish by Friday, it's good to have a time limit.

 

[Elsi]

Elsi, rest, get rid of that cold. Then get to work sorting. When you buy those tubs it will make it much less painful.

Thanks, Tired. I think we are beyond the tub stage. I just need to donate what’s left down there. I may give it until spring, since C is on a good track right now. But I’m setting a timeline on it this time. That stuff will be gone, one way or another, by ... March 31.

 

[Copabanana]

Good morning:

Elsi. What do you think about letting both kids know about the timeline in this way?

I am clearing out stuff this spring to set up a weight room. If either or both of you want some of it, it's yours if you arrange to take it by the end of March.

That way the decisions and responsibility are theirs but the control is yours .

 

[Elsi]

Good morning:

Elsi. What do you think about letting both kids know about the timeline in this way?

I am clearing out stuff this spring to set up a weight room. If either or both of you wat sone of it, it's yours if you arrange to take it by the end of March.

That way the decisions and responsibility are theirs but the control is yours .

Well... S is still missing. I don’t even know what to think anymore. I don’t know if she’s still in the city or if she’s taken off to somewhere else again. Or...I don’t know. But when she does turn up again, I think she’s a long way from being in a position to use furniture or dishes. She’s going to need extended time in a sober living house or similar arrangement before she can be on her own.

C seems to be doing ok and is still not drinking, or at least that’s what he tells me. He’s sleeping on the floor or someone’s apartment right now and has held on to the job. I’m a bit more hopeful that he may be in a position to use this stuff. But he has talked about saving up to start over somewhere else. Maybe near his brother. None of this stuff is worth hauling across the country. So yes, I’ll ask him if he thinks he can use it by spring, and let him know it’s going if not.

I’ll start another thread on the S situation. Too painful for this thread.

 

[AppleCori]

Hey, it sounds like we are already starting to make some headway on our homes!

Has anyone seen the new Netflix show “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”?

I read her book not long ago, and was pleasantly surprised this morning to see that she has a show.

If you have any time, turn it on and take some inspiration from seeing others get their houses decluttered and organized.

Elsi, I have also been one to “save” stuff for my kids/stepkids/future grandkids. It almost never seems to be worth it. Used household items are cheap to buy, and our stuff is just that for the most part—just stuff. Easily replaced.

 

[Copabanana]

Hi.

I have Marie kondo's book. I read 2 pages and had a panic attack. Maybe I will try again. Thank you Apple..

 

[Lil]

I've been off for the long (4-day) weekend. So I didn't' see the "challenge", but I'm happy to say Jabber and I DID make a start! Yesterday we spent literally 3-4 hours and worked on our closet and drawers and the guest room (formerly son's room).

From our closet and my dresser, we filled TWO tall kitchen trash bags with clothing we no longer wear. In addition, I turned all my hangers the wrong way round. Next New Year's, anything still turned around the wrong way gets the boot - unless it happens to be a special occasion dress or something that I just haven't had the need for. Even if it doesn't fit and I'm "saving" it for when I lose weight. I'll just buy new clothes. I'm that tired of it all.

In the guest room, we really only did the closet and still ended up with a lawn and leaf size trash bag of trash! It included a comforter and pillow - so that's a bit of an exaggeration - but still a lot and there's so much more to go!

We put a lot of our medieval reenactment clothing in that closet - which is the purpose we intend to use it for. I can't wait to get the rest of that room done! My son's been in another state for over two years and we've barely touched it.

Jabber also made a call to Habitat for Humanity and we're going to make an appointment to have them come and get a lot of stuff from the garage, furniture that we haven't used in ages! I'm excited to see it go!

So...inroads. I will look up the various books and websites you all have mentioned.

Elsi, I have also been one to “save” stuff for my kids/stepkids/future grandkids. It almost never seems to be worth it. Used household items are cheap to buy, and our stuff is just that for the most part—just stuff. Easily replaced.

I agree with this. I've now helped out with dishes and pots and pans, etc. twice. Even with furniture. Never again. Even if he wasn't two states away at some point it's simply not worth the stress to store things you can help buy if you feel you must. A $50 couch from Salvation Army is worth the sanity you get from being able to be in your own home without clutter.

by the way @Copabanana - I love your kitty's nose! The black being asymmetrical makes it look crooked. LOL She's so sweet!

 

[AppleCori]

Hi.

I have Marie kondo's book. I read 2 pages and had a panic attack. Maybe I will try again. Thank you Apple..

I agree, she is ruthless in the book. Very minimalist approach.

I am only watching the second show in her Netflix series (of eight) but from what I have seen so far, she doesn’t push them to get rid of an inordinate amount of stuff. I thought the couple in the first one still had too much when they were through, but much better than before.

I don’t care for the “new” flylady format of sending many emails per day with testimonials of the system and her products, and no more emails telling you what to clean or organize. But, others may like the way she does things. Just an FYI.

 

[Elsi]

I agree with this. I've now helped out with dishes and pots and pans, etc. twice. Even with furniture. Never again. Even if he wasn't two states away at some point it's simply not worth the stress to store things you can help buy if you feel you must. A $50 couch from Salvation Army is worth the sanity you get from being able to be in your own home without clutter.

This is the bottom line. I know you are 100% right. I actually HAVE helped both of them furnish places before. Where is all that stuff? Gone. Abandoned. Ruined. Even the air mattress and sheets and pillow I took downtown to C in August was too much for him to hold on to. It was left behind along with the security deposit and first month's rent for the room he lasted 6 weeks in. Sigh. At one point we had S all set up in a one-bedroom apartment of her own. It was fully furnished with donations from family and a few good will buys. She even had a cat! Everything is gone now, even that cat, lost to the streets while she and her friends were high one night. I hope someone else picked him up and gave him a home. So why do I keep trying with saving all this stuff? It needs to go. I can't give them any heirlooms left from the grandparents, and the practical stuff, as you say, can always be replaced.

Right. Weight room it is. Or workshop. Whichever R wants. She's waited long enough.

I don’t care for the “new” flylady format of sending many emails per day with testimonials of the system and her products, and no more emails telling you what to clean or organize.

Yeah, I find her day-to-day communication too intrusive, though you can select "one email a day" instead of the drips she sends all day long. I'm not on her lists at all anymore, though. I've just retained what works for me - the Zone system (though I do my zones differently), creating morning and evening routines that help you keep already-clean-things clean, one daily 15-minute decluttering mission, etc.

Marie Kondo is perhaps a bit TOO minimalist for me, though I like her approach of asking yourself whether the things you are keeping are truly bringing you joy.

 

[Lil]

I don’t care for the “new” flylady format of sending many emails per day with testimonials of the system and her products, and no more emails telling you what to clean or organize. But, others may like the way she does things. Just an FYI.

I checked out her website this weekend. Very big changes from the last time I checked her out years ago. I found it harder to navigate and to have less information than I remember. I'm sure it's a good system, but I need something more user-friendly and not so much on the pushing products.

One thing Jabber and I are doing differently - and it's something I think I saw on her site, or maybe on "organizing moms", another website, was they say to take the bags out to your car immediately and when you drive by a drop off, just do it. Jabber and I have always had boxes of "rummage sale fodder". Things we didn't use anymore, but were suitable for rummage sales. While bagging clothes from the closet, we talked about it and decided that the amount we'd make if every item sold was just not worth putting them back on hangers and sitting in the garage all day. In fact, the $400-$500 or so we might make on a good garage sale, if everything sold, was not worth it. We're just going to donate it all. We'll have Habitat Re-store and Salvation Army come pick up whatever they want of big items and will drop off the rest.

 

[Lil]

I can't give them any heirlooms left from the grandparents, and the practical stuff, as you say, can always be replaced.

Personally, I'd hold on to heirlooms, if they are something small and easily stored in boxes. You never know what the future will bring. Furniture, I'd either use myself or find another relative maybe who wants it? Sadly, you can't give anything to them right now, you're right.

I texted my son to see if there was anything he wanted when we started cleaning out his room. We're saving a small box of things from his closet...his rock collection, pretty stones he picked out as a kid, was surprisingly high on his list! There were a few other things too that he wanted us to hold on to, but most he just didn't care about. I did hold on to a few other things, toys that were his, etc., that I figured I might have a grandchild someday to play with them, and I saved his yearbooks and a few letters I wrote him - back in days when I was still trying to encourage him. I'd give my right arm for a letter from my mom...maybe someday he'll appreciate them.

Everything we're saving for him will probably fit in a banker's box.

 

[Lil]

And...at the risk of being more of a thread killer than I apparently am already...

Habitat for Humanity will be at our house Saturday, January 12th, to pick up our bulky stuff from the garage! We have at least one (probably two) dressers, a desk, some desk chairs, bookcases, lamps, etc. and I'm going to be ruthless in getting rid of stuff! The desk I've wanted rid of for YEARS and Jabber kept wanting to keep it. I'm quite excited about it really. There are two chairs that are really nice, good quality, occasional chairs that Jabber and I got when we first bought our house. That's the only thing I want to have left of the currently unused furniture!

So since we're out of town this Saturday, Sunday is our day to get that stuff sorted and to the front of the pile in our garage, and wiped down, and hopefully it'll be GONE. Bye-bye STUFF!

 

[BusynMember]

Anything I really want will go with me when I cross to the afterlife. I want to be cremated with my animals ashes and a few items. But I believe my loved ones are alive on the other side and that I will see them shortly after my body dies. I believe our souls are eternal. So its easier for me to give things up as I have NO doubt that this is so.

Anything I leave behind my kids can have or give to charity.

 

[Tired out]

Right. Weight room it is. Or workshop. Whichever R wants. She's waited long enough.

You will be happy and relieved after you have it all sorted out.

 

[Elsi]

Interesting article on the economic principles of de-cluttering:

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/05/an-economist-reads-marie-kondo/392921

 

[AppleCori]

And...at the risk of being more of a thread killer than I apparently am already...

Habitat for Humanity will be at our house Saturday, January 12th, to pick up our bulky stuff from the garage! We have at least one (probably two) dressers, a desk, some desk chairs, bookcases, lamps, etc. and I'm going to be ruthless in getting rid of stuff! The desk I've wanted rid of for YEARS and Jabber kept wanting to keep it. I'm quite excited about it really. There are two chairs that are really nice, good quality, occasional chairs that Jabber and I got when we first bought our house. That's the only thing I want to have left of the currently unused furniture!

So since we're out of town this Saturday, Sunday is our day to get that stuff sorted and to the front of the pile in our garage, and wiped down, and hopefully it'll be GONE. Bye-bye STUFF!

Wow, sounds great!

Keep us posted on your progress.

I would like to see this thread continue all year long, as we all make progress, need encouragement, share successes and set-backs and learn new things.

We got back in the early hours of Thursday morning and I had some obligations that lasted most of the day yesterday. I have a couple of appointments this morning/early afternoon, so I may not get to any decluttering projects before our deadline today, though I am going to take down Christmas lights and decorations this weekend.

Keep posting!

Let’s encourage each other in our walk.

 

[Lil]

I would like to see this thread continue all year long, as we all make progress, need encouragement, share successes and set-backs and learn new things.

I agree completely! Those of us trying to simplify and declutter our homes and our lives need all the help and encouragement we can get!

I have been planning to make myself do the 10/15 minute a night thing that all the websites talk about. Pick one area and work on it for a set number of minutes, even if it's a drawer or a table or a counter....but I haven't been up for it. I think going back to work after the 4 day weekend sapped my strength! I've been just exhausted when I get home. But I'm going to keep trying.

Tiny victory. Jabber and I (finally) hung up our coats and sweaters etc., in our coat closet right before Christmas - as opposed to them being on the back of the dining room chairs and over stair railings, etc. The closet's in the stairwell by the front door and there's no space for a table or anything, so it's really not that convenient when your hands are full, but we've made a serious effort to keep the coats where they belong! It means a second trip up and down the stairs after we've deposited our bags, etc., but we've done it for a couple of weeks now. That's a huge thing for us. In winter, our coats are usually all over the place. That alone makes the dining room look so much less cluttered.

 

[AppleCori]

I agree completely! Those of us trying to simplify and declutter our homes and our lives need all the help and encouragement we can get!

I have been planning to make myself do the 10/15 minute a night thing that all the websites talk about. Pick one area and work on it for a set number of minutes, even if it's a drawer or a table or a counter....but I haven't been up for it. I think going back to work after the 4 day weekend sapped my strength! I've been just exhausted when I get home. But I'm going to keep trying.

Tiny victory. Jabber and I (finally) hung up our coats and sweaters etc., in our coat closet right before Christmas - as opposed to them being on the back of the dining room chairs and over stair railings, etc. The closet's in the stairwell by the front door and there's no space for a table or anything, so it's really not that convenient when your hands are full, but we've made a serious effort to keep the coats where they belong! It means a second trip up and down the stairs after we've deposited our bags, etc., but we've done it for a couple of weeks now. That's a huge thing for us. In winter, our coats are usually all over the place. That alone makes the dining room look so much less cluttered.

Yeah on the coat closet!

That is another important idea—good habits! We sometimes overlook this, which is why the houses goes back into the same condition as it was before, even after a long cleaning session.

Don’t give up. Try the ten minute clean up again next week. It’s a good habit to get into.

 

[Copabanana]

I want to check in. I have to confess that most of the stuff in my dining room i moved to the garage. A few boxes are still in my laundry room. And the ladders are there still but out of site.

Still. Quite a change. I met my goal. I took my after picture but it was too dark. Maybe I will post another one tomorrow.

 

[Copabanana]

I will tackle some hard stuff next week.

These are the biggest dragons to slay: I will gather up M's stuff in the living room. (Not so bad).

The front bedroom is filled with stuff "to sell on eBay." Most is stuff I bought online in the first two years after my mom died. It is a disaster.

The garage. M said he'll help me clear out some space (by moving out some furniture and loads of boxes ). He's unavailable until Thursday. (Mon and Tues I can't work either.)So we can do that Thursday.

So actually reading what I just wrote next week is not planning out to do anything big. I could clear the living room and maybe do one box in the front bedroom (where the eBay stuff is.) In addition to working in the garage 1 day.

Now. I have two dilemnas. I have 5 computers. One is new and arrived not working and I did not realize it until past the return interval. The four laptops I paid to have fixed and the guy did not repair them adequately. M is of the opinion I should cut my losses and not throw good money after bad. To just junk all of them and buy a new one. This was $500! (Not counting the cost of the new one.)i have to keep moving forward.

What do you think?

There is also the decision about the eBay selling, to recoup some of the money I spent on all this stuff.

The thing is I'm old. Do I really want to spend months selling junk? I did that buying to save my life at the lowest period of my life .it was literally to keep living that I bought that stuff. I knew no other way to get through each hour

Do I really want to sell on eBay or dance tango in Brasil and go to Greece? And work.

I have never used drugs .I've worked hard in my life. Part of me feels like I deserved to go off the deep end as i mourned my mother and grieved so many losses and so much pain in my life. That this was money well spent, if it gave me room to heal. But it was lots of money. And I bought stuff I would never use like a snow wardrobe with 4 pairs of snow boots. And two pairs for m. AND a pair for my son. (We live where it's mostly warm) And silver jeweled cowboy belts. (2) ??? I'm not a cowgirl . What was i thinking. The room is filled to the ceiling. Sadly. I did not care what I spent. Completely untethered to reality. For mes that will never exist. Sad.

So that's where I am. I am grateful to each of you.