Is your home organized and comfortable?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Copabanana, Dec 26, 2018.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Confession...of sorts.

    At our last garage sale were a few suspected hoarders. It was a little bizarre.

    One lady was a nurse. Saturday morning. She says she goes out to garage sales EVERY Saturday. She does not need any of these things. Most of the stuff she buys ends up in her garage, which is now overstuffed. She can’t control herself. The thrill of finding something she likes at a great price has gotten to be a habit. Now, her husband doesn’t speak to her. He is angry with her. She said she works hard so she should spend her money as she chooses. But, the real truth is it’s rare she needs or uses any of this stuff and yet she is back out every Sat. morning to it again. She seemed so sad. I almost took the stuff away from her. We talked briefly. I told her maybe she could cut back to once a month. Noooo doubt in my mind she was addicted. And no doubt in my mind her house was cluttered and a huge problem. It was sad.

    PS This nurse said she often carefully washed what she bought at these garage sales, sometimes with Clorox, then stuck it in her own Garage for decades. Omg. C r a z y and S A D

    More appropriate folks were just having a fun day looking for a bargain. They do this a few times a year. Or others looking for a specific thing or two like books or children’s toys.

    But, some folks simply took the clutter from my garage and added it to their own. SMH. Sad.
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  2. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Addiction is addiction, no matter the drug of choice.
  3. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Hoarding is treayed as a disorder seperate from addiction. It isore OCDish.
  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    In the end, it has the same effect though. It takes over their lives. It endangers peoples health and their relationships - and they can't stop without help of some type.

    I actually had YouTube videos of Hoarders on my computer today while working (I have two monitors), for inspiration! Jabber said he hoped it had more effect than the home improvement shows we watch and then never do (or start and never finish) the improvement projects...but a half finished project makes your house worse - a half cleaned room is still cleaner! ;)
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  5. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I think of it more like an addiction BUT can see the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) part of it. There were one or two other people that looked so “pained.” As if the HAD to buy something. It was their mission or something. They didn’t seem in control of themselves. One had a van that was disturbing. It was packed with misc. items from garage sales...big and small. I can only hope she has a plan. Her van looked like an overstuffed/wayward Garage on wheels. The nurse I spoke with said she had been doing this literally every Saturday for like ten years. Omg. If you add that up it blows the mind. And I totally believed her when she said it is causing marital problems.

    It is soooo freeing not to have the clutter. I wish they knew that. They were stuck in a very bad/dark place.

    Anyway, no more about that.

    Clutter free is a huge positive. Worth the effort...big time!
  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Well, I am just parrotting what the hoarding specialists have said and it isnt treated like an addiction. It is more a seperate problem where you cant ever get rid of anything, sometimes people have old newspapers that are 20 years old. Gross! Also there are animals, their business and bugs.

    The problem is nothing can be given up due to attachment. Its not primarily about just is about inability to give anything up. So you build a tradh pit and live in it. Most hoarders seem older.

    Treatment is not rehab for hoarding. It is not seen as an addiction. Once it was considered a part of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but I think I heard a few specialists say it is not anymore....that it is now seen as a disorder of its own. Welcome to psychiatric chaos in diagnoses.

    Of course you know I think psychiatry is an inexact science, if a science at all. So......whatevah!! It will be called something else next year :)
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    It does seem to be unique and sadly debilitating for those suffering from it.
    I never researched it. It does seem a bit complicated. How smart of you to check it out SWOT. I wish I had done that especially since a distant relative suffered with this unique and sad affliction. After much therapy, including s therapist coming to the house...she is much better today.
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I had a hoarder uncle. If there is a mental illness, you can bet it is in my DNA. Apparently nobody knew about the hoarding until he died. Nobody ever visited his apartment, I guess, or they would have seen. Our family members were all so close...hehe.

    Hoarding is very sad. It is often not dealt with until the hoarder is older and sick and the house is about to be condemned.

    I only know about it from watching the show. I never studied it beyond that, unlike other disorders that interested me more such as schizophrenia, anorexia and other psychiatric illnesses.
  9. CareTooMuch

    CareTooMuch Active Member

    I watched the hoarding show the first few seasons, I am the opposite so it is hard to imagine letting stuff overcome a home. Older DS had a friend growing up who's mom was semi hoarding, and it literally made me anxious going inside their home. I am calmer inside my home when it is mostly free of clutter and relatively clean. I try not to throw away things that will be useful in the near future, and have sometimes regretted throwing something away, but not often enough to stop deckuttering. husband has three drawers full of crap in the bedroom that he can use, but when those fill up he has to clear out to add additional useless things lol.
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Thank you Copa for this thread.
    I like to do things that improve my life in some way particularly in January.
    Goals are a focus, as well as organization.
    I just saw a video on a woman using the Konmarie method and her focus in the video was on books and paperwork.

    I took my many books and many shelves from my old home and narrowed it down to one medium/large book case in my home. I had to dispose of a huge number of books!

    I also have one small box of books in my attic. That is it and will be “it.”

    Right now I have three books that don’t fit on the shelves. Three will need to go. ASAP. Like today. I also am thinking of getting back to Kindle use for some books.

    Paperwork has improved, but needs work. I will be thinking about what this woman mentioned. On-line access is an advantage in many ways.

    Utube videos are awesome. I listened while making my coffee etc.

    And getting personal input here is lovely and very helpful as well. I appreciate the ideas and comraderie.
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  11. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Interesting, Nomad.

    My mom’s neighbor is a hoarder.

    She has a two-story garage filled with everything but her vehicle.

    She has a small HOUSE filled with stuff. She used to rent it out, now it just sits there full of stuff. For years.

    Her large house (that she lives in) is full. She hired someone to help her go through and clean out/organize her house when she was fighting for custody of her grandson from his abusive/neglectful parents, so everything is in boxes, but she didn’t get rid of most of it. She only lets certain people into the house. It is (I am presuming still is) habitable and wouldn’t get her grandchild taken away, but it is very overfilled with stuff.

    She gets things she doesn’t need from garage sales and thrift stores, she has her kids clothes from when they were children (she is in her mid-seventies now, so they have all been adults for decades).

    Her boyfriend of around twenty years won’t marry her/move in together because he can’t live that way.

    She is a very nice person and takes very good care of her grandson, but she still has this (addiction or whatever it is).
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    My husband’s retired colleague is as well. (A hoarder). My husband suspected based on his car being filled to the brim with peculiar items that should be thrown out. My husband doesn’t think any of the other co workers knew or even suspected. I was shocked when I saw photos of his home. It’s truly hard to imagine a person living like this.

    I was never anything even approaching a hoarder...but certain areas clearly needed work. I always culled things, including books. But, I was not “strict,” with books for lack of a better word. So, I had many bookcases. I regularly gave some away or gave some to charity. BUT, I was buying them faster than doing that so it slowly but surely added up.

    So, I have put VERY strict boundaries on books, clothes, shoes...probably everything.

    My thought is if it doesn’t fit in my bookcase, I own too many books. I can use Kindke. I can use the library. I am not a library. I absolutely will not build a shelf or buy another bookcase. I must make choices.

    The buck stops with me.

    I am probably now the opposite of a hoarder. And will search You Tube for ideas and welcome them here etc.
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  13. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Ok. So I know I keep going off topic but I wanted to learn what kind os an illness Hoarding is considered, at least in 2018. These psychiatric disorders change categories and treatment so often. But for right now, in this year, it is a compulsive disorder. The buying is not the main problem. Many people shop too much but dont have a floor to ceiling pile of stuff from decades ago. From what I understand, the disorder is not being able to get rid of anything. And if a hoarder parts with anything, it has to be a very special person who will uber value tje item. Hoarders spend days sitting in their one usable chair and just sorting their stuff and if they look at something and dont know what to do with it, it goes back in the pile. It is a disease often due to lonliess or trauma or both.
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  14. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    i have been following along and enjoying the great ideas. my husband and i have decided to downsize. We are putting our house up for sale this spring and getting an apartment. we are tired of the upkeep. He will be retiring in a couple of years and would love to be able to travel or if we decide to move to a different town, we would not be tied down. i am also getting items ready for a garage sale in a few months. it's is such a good feeling to free up space and as they say "less is more". Getting rid of clutter makes the room look bigger. Keep posting, it's so inspiring
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Swot...that totally and perfectly describes the colleague. Thank you. of luck! So freeing and it ends up being fun.
  16. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Wasn't trying to start a debate on that, just commenting on how similar hoarding is to addiction. I would imagine that, just like with addiction, each person has very specific needs to help them out of the hole they've dug.

    Sacrilege!!! Sacrilege I say!!! Seriously, in my opinion there is no such thing as too many books but you do need to be able to properly store them. Says the man who currently has no place to put books and shelves but in the garage due to ongoing projects in the basement. I do LOVE the kindle app for reading, especially as I get older and my vision gets worse. But there's just something about holding a book, turning the pages, and the smell of the paper. I don't like the thought of giving up the books I have because of any sentimental attachment. I do tend to re-read and if I give them up then to re-read, they will have to be re-purchased. Eh, we shall see.
  17. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Jabber...totally understand! That (the books) was probably my most difficult thing. I made super tough, brutal and ruthless decisions. Some people might have more space etc. It’s absolutely NOT for everyone.
    Sniff! They are kinda like friends.
  18. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    It really doesn't matter what kind of mental illness hoarding is - what matters is NONE of us fall prey to it!!! It is a sad and strange illness, that's for sure. You watch these shows and people don't have places to sleep or bathrooms! I'd really like to know why they all have non-functioning plumbing? I mean, I understand not being able to cook if you have newspapers cluttered all over the stove...but the places are almost always nasty/dirty, with like cats peeing everywhere etc. and they don't have running water 90% of the time. I saw one where they found the owners pet dead and buried under piles of rubbish in the house. I guess it's the obsession...they just get so wrapped up in the stuff that they just let everything else slide until it's too late.

    It's SO sad!

    BUT - we're not those people and WE are getting rid of the clutter before it takes over our lives!

    YES! That is Jabber and me too! We're looking down the road a bit - 5 years to retirement - but we plan to be house-free. We'll keep our little cabin and have our RV or 5th wheel and we'll be free to travel as we please! To do that - there will be MAJOR cleaning, decluttering, and downsizing. We can't start too soon - so we're starting now! :)
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  19. okie girl

    okie girl Active Member

    Lil....we have considered getting a small RV to travel in but haven't decided yet. I'm glad you we are on the same page. keep me updated!!
  20. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I want to give you an update on my front bedroom aka the eBay room. I have been making phenomenal progress.

    The stuff is not yet out of the house but I realize it's not so bad. Once the empty boxes and packing materials were out, it was a whole different deal. I think I will have order in this room by Friday.

    M cleared his stuff out of the living room and it's beautiful.

    And he started on the garage.

    My school starts again next week so I will have to slow down but I have a strong foundation now. There's no turning back.

    Thank you people.

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