It's hit the fan.....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by timer lady, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    The tweedles turn 18 tomorrow. So who shows up at my door yesterday. Yup, you guessed it. Birth mom.:panicsmiley:

    kt was beyond thrilled . . . I, in the meantime, asked her to leave my property. I can't get the story straight as to how long kt knew this woman was coming. As our adoption was to be closed, even after the age of 18, unless the tweedles went looking for her I asked kt if she knew how birth mom found her (us). Some SW opened the file illegally.

    kt was brought home by the police Sunday night (she'd been missing for a month & I requested the police take her to a shelter. That didn't work) kt was gone again within an hour & returned home Tuesday morning.

    kt left again early last evening & is spending til Sunday with this woman. kt demanded to know wm's whereabout - I refused. I will continue to protect 1 child from this woman. I informed wm's team & they've all been put on high alert.

    Whether kt leaves town with this woman or not is anyone's guess. kt's therapist reminded kt of the abuse and neglect by this woman. kt is delusional and insists that birth mom has changed for the better and has apologized.

    Well, okay then, that makes it all better. :rolleyes:
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Linda... :hugs:

    I'm glad wm's team is on high alert... Why in heaven's name would bio suddenly want to be part of the tweedles' lives? I don't get it.

    As for the SW... I hope they get caught. because If it's closed, it's closed. PERIOD. UGH..

    More :hugs:
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    UN -freaking-believable!!!!

    Who the heck would be so stupid as to open that file? These kids are far too judgement disabled to deal with that and you must be beside yourself. Wonder if you'll see kt again? Did she ever get declared vulnerable or have a guardian appointed for after 18? I forgot where you were in that process.

    I'm just so sorry you have to go through this. Can this woman be kept away if kt is choosing it? Pretty scary.
  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I don't know what to say. Somehow, I am not surprised. Some of us adoptive parents end up being babysitters until the child becomes an adult. You have sacrificed your life to these kids. I hope the social worker gets nailed to the wall. Hugs, Linda!
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree. The social worker should be nailed to the wall. I am soooo glad you didn't give in to kt's demand about wm's whereabouts and that you alerted his team. Since they turn 18 tomorrow, there is little you can do. Wow.....I can only imagine the feelings you're having right now. Wish I lived closer.

  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yikes, I'm sorry. It's unbelievable. I have no words, just hugs for you.............and prayers................
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I don't even know what to say, Linda. Sending hugs.
  8. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I dont' know what to say either...huge ((hugs))
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's unthinkable that one social worker would open the fiel and yet William's team seems to understand.

    I'm sorry Linda.

  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    Wow. I didn't see this coming. (((Hugs)))
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh my, this is unbelievable. Good Lord, I'm so sorry. L
    Glad you didn't divulge wm's whereabouts. Thoughts and prayers and hugs to you.
  12. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    I am so sorry Linda. What a horrible turn of events. Sending you lots of hugs and support to get through this.
  13. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!


    I'm just speechless.
  14. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I've been so lost in terror over the last couple of days. It's inconceivable that ktbug would step back willingly into that horrible situation once again. Biomom is busy plying kt with new clothes & gifts, just like in the days before the TPR. It's ugly...very very ugly.

    kt is so delusional right now ... has been for months. Her choices have been so unsafe. I, along with her treatment team, worked so hard to get a court ordered commitment. Went before a judge twice & it failed. The psychiatrist told me that the 3rd time is a charm. We've yet to test that because kt is hanging on by the skin of her teeth.

    I've asked kt to respect my boundaries & she has not. She's stopped in twice yesterday with biomom in the car. I finally told her not to show up at the door unannounced again. AND I would not open the door to her until her mtg today @ 2 p.m. with her adult mental health case manager. I'm praying she shows up. I've been working on coordinating the team to get adult mental health involved on the day she turns 18 & it's to happen this afternoon.

    Ladies, I've worked so hard over the last almost 12 years to clean up that monster's mess. The monster can destroy all the hard work & treatment in a matter of days. kt has endured so much because of this monster that I'm gobsmacked she has the nerve to show her face.
  15. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Holy guano!!!!
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I can't tell you how truly sorry I am to read your post. Even though I know you are sick of me saying so I really do believe you should relocate and focus on your health. Year after year of stress can shorten your life Linda and I don't want that to happen. Hugs. DDD
  17. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so very sorry. You're in my prayers.
  18. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    TL - DDD is right! One human being can only do so much for 2 determined children. Do what you can for the 18 transition and then get the house on the market and go enjoy some family time. I really, really strongly believe you deserve it.


    Stay safe!
  19. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    You have been an amazing mother for the tweedles. Everything good in their lives came from you and Steve: love, stability, committment and more help than anyone else could have gotten them. That incubator represents all that is wrong in the world and I'm praying very hard that Kt realizes that quickly. YOU are their mother. SHE is their abuser. Life is not fair.
  20. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Sorry to hear that Biomom has shown up. Sending hugs and prayers.