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Parent Emeritus
It's like a break up...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 607870" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think the food stamp thing is good too. I think it would be better if he got a job and didn't need it, but at least he has a way to buy food that doesn't include you. </p><p></p><p>When my daughter did drugs and had to leave my house, I cried for three weeks, but it had to be done. She is the first one to say it was the best thing we ever did to her. She had no choice but to either be homeless or go live with her straight arrow brother who would not even tolerate a cigarette in his house or in front of his house. Knowing she'd REALLY be out on the street...that he did not have the ambivalence we did and would not waiver...she followed all his rules, including cleaning the house, cooking, getting a job that she had to walk to because she had no car, and quitting all drugs, pot included. Cigarettes included. </p><p></p><p>We are very close now and my daughter is working, bought her own house with her boyfriend, and is over her growing up problems. Once we found out she was using drugs, she never got another dime from us, even when she was living with us. She had to get a job (and did) if she wanted anything other than necessities. She has a good work ethic now!!!</p><p></p><p>Sometimes this can work to a child's advantage. My daughter was 19 when we made her leave. We are not that crazy about her SO, but he is ok. We don't get involved in our children's relationships even if they are bad ones. Once they are adults, we let them learn lessons themselves. We will always listen to them, but never give advice unless asked.</p><p></p><p>I hope you feel better soon. You are doing your son a favor by forcing him to grow up. What your mother thinks is insignificant. If she is not supportive, you may have to distance yourself from her or not talk about your son with her. You don't need anyone judging you!! Last thing you need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 607870, member: 1550"] I think the food stamp thing is good too. I think it would be better if he got a job and didn't need it, but at least he has a way to buy food that doesn't include you. When my daughter did drugs and had to leave my house, I cried for three weeks, but it had to be done. She is the first one to say it was the best thing we ever did to her. She had no choice but to either be homeless or go live with her straight arrow brother who would not even tolerate a cigarette in his house or in front of his house. Knowing she'd REALLY be out on the street...that he did not have the ambivalence we did and would not waiver...she followed all his rules, including cleaning the house, cooking, getting a job that she had to walk to because she had no car, and quitting all drugs, pot included. Cigarettes included. We are very close now and my daughter is working, bought her own house with her boyfriend, and is over her growing up problems. Once we found out she was using drugs, she never got another dime from us, even when she was living with us. She had to get a job (and did) if she wanted anything other than necessities. She has a good work ethic now!!! Sometimes this can work to a child's advantage. My daughter was 19 when we made her leave. We are not that crazy about her SO, but he is ok. We don't get involved in our children's relationships even if they are bad ones. Once they are adults, we let them learn lessons themselves. We will always listen to them, but never give advice unless asked. I hope you feel better soon. You are doing your son a favor by forcing him to grow up. What your mother thinks is insignificant. If she is not supportive, you may have to distance yourself from her or not talk about your son with her. You don't need anyone judging you!! Last thing you need. [/QUOTE]
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