I have been gone for a little while. My son went to visit his grandparents, which is what I feel he needed. He got spoiled by my parents and brother. His trip was all about him finally. So when I got to the airport my mom surprised me with a visit for 1 month. I could not belive she was here. She is here until next thursday and so glad to have a little break every night. It's been really great having her here seeing as difficult child is still in the group home we still have to attend meetings with the dr, psychiatric team and group home. At some points I wonder what is more stressful having difficult child live at home or attending all the meetings!!
Well we have been writing letters to anyone and everyone who will listen. We did get one response from our senator which has us a little excited (but have learned very fast not to believe it until you see it.)
difficult child was moved to the 9th grade last 1 1/2 weeks ago, against our request to leave him in the 8th grade. I called the group home like I do every night to see how he's doing and they actually told me that difficult child was taken in for a random drug test and confessed to smoking pot at school... Then while at the dr's office awaiting the drug test he stole candy that was for sale at the dr's office and when he was caught and told to put it back he opened the candy and stuck it in his mouth. (typical) So he was put on a ZERO level which is no privledges and tons of yard work. He was also in trouble for screaming at the manager of the group home and cursing.
He's also doing things to provoke the other boys in the home like licking his lips at them and talking about certain body parts.
In the meetings with the dr he feels that difficult child cannot come home as he is clearly a danger to us. He has recomended this facility that he feels would be really good. So we looked into it and of course they do not except insurance only cps or court ordered or you can pay yourself at a cost of 150.00 a day for a minimum of 11 months. Well that went at the window who can afford this, and if I could I would be on a cruise around the world.
So now I called the principal of the high school to find out how he was able to get a hold of pot. His response was it's a huge problem in that school. I said well I want to know where he had the time, so if you could please check his attendance and see if he was where he was supposed to be??? Of course difficult child cut 2 classes. So the principal said he was going to call difficult child to the office and call me back. When he called me back he said that difficult child was not aware that cutting school was punishable by a 5 day suspension. I about fell out of my chair...urrrr So I said sir difficult child is fully aware of the consequenses of cutting school and told him that he has a long history of this and even had a probation officer. I also stated that he needed what ever punishment every other kid would face. So he was suspended from school for 5 days. This was hard but the dr told us not to allow him to get away with anything and need as much documentation as possible to keep him out of the home.
So at the next dr appointment the group home manager gave me a paper that we have to go to court because of him cutting school. He was picked up by the truancy officer because he left school grounds. The group home feels this is harsh, where we just feel that it's catching up to difficult child now. We only have about 5 more weeks before he is discharged from this group home and after speaking to the dr and psychiatric team and telling them the conversation with the truancey officer (who recomended if we are having problems with difficult child at home we should tell the judge who can place him in that facility that costs 150 a day.). The dr feels that there is no therapy that will help difficult child because of the lying and the fact that he blames everyone else for his problems.
husband went on easter sunday to visit with difficult child and wound up staying only 15 minutes. difficult child went on and on how I'm ruining his life and it's all my fault that he is in the group home because I don't want him at home. husband confronted him by saying he is having problems at the group and with his mother before coming here and than asked difficult child what he wants husband to do.....ready for the answer--- difficult child SAID GET RID OF HER--- husband told him thats not ever going to happen so difficult child told husband I don't have to listen to this and went back into the group home.
So next monday we are going to court for the truancy and hoping the judge can place him somewhere other than the home. husband feels that if difficult child comes home he is going to be 100 times worse than before.
husband and I had a session with difficult children therapist and I laid it all out and felt a sense of releif. I said I cannot and will not live here if difficult child comes home because there is nothing being done to deter him from his behavior especially that now he's getting involved with pot. We will have no control. So I guess we are hoping the judge will help but being realistic.
Thank you for listening to me rant..
Well we have been writing letters to anyone and everyone who will listen. We did get one response from our senator which has us a little excited (but have learned very fast not to believe it until you see it.)
difficult child was moved to the 9th grade last 1 1/2 weeks ago, against our request to leave him in the 8th grade. I called the group home like I do every night to see how he's doing and they actually told me that difficult child was taken in for a random drug test and confessed to smoking pot at school... Then while at the dr's office awaiting the drug test he stole candy that was for sale at the dr's office and when he was caught and told to put it back he opened the candy and stuck it in his mouth. (typical) So he was put on a ZERO level which is no privledges and tons of yard work. He was also in trouble for screaming at the manager of the group home and cursing.
He's also doing things to provoke the other boys in the home like licking his lips at them and talking about certain body parts.
In the meetings with the dr he feels that difficult child cannot come home as he is clearly a danger to us. He has recomended this facility that he feels would be really good. So we looked into it and of course they do not except insurance only cps or court ordered or you can pay yourself at a cost of 150.00 a day for a minimum of 11 months. Well that went at the window who can afford this, and if I could I would be on a cruise around the world.
So now I called the principal of the high school to find out how he was able to get a hold of pot. His response was it's a huge problem in that school. I said well I want to know where he had the time, so if you could please check his attendance and see if he was where he was supposed to be??? Of course difficult child cut 2 classes. So the principal said he was going to call difficult child to the office and call me back. When he called me back he said that difficult child was not aware that cutting school was punishable by a 5 day suspension. I about fell out of my chair...urrrr So I said sir difficult child is fully aware of the consequenses of cutting school and told him that he has a long history of this and even had a probation officer. I also stated that he needed what ever punishment every other kid would face. So he was suspended from school for 5 days. This was hard but the dr told us not to allow him to get away with anything and need as much documentation as possible to keep him out of the home.
So at the next dr appointment the group home manager gave me a paper that we have to go to court because of him cutting school. He was picked up by the truancy officer because he left school grounds. The group home feels this is harsh, where we just feel that it's catching up to difficult child now. We only have about 5 more weeks before he is discharged from this group home and after speaking to the dr and psychiatric team and telling them the conversation with the truancey officer (who recomended if we are having problems with difficult child at home we should tell the judge who can place him in that facility that costs 150 a day.). The dr feels that there is no therapy that will help difficult child because of the lying and the fact that he blames everyone else for his problems.
husband went on easter sunday to visit with difficult child and wound up staying only 15 minutes. difficult child went on and on how I'm ruining his life and it's all my fault that he is in the group home because I don't want him at home. husband confronted him by saying he is having problems at the group and with his mother before coming here and than asked difficult child what he wants husband to do.....ready for the answer--- difficult child SAID GET RID OF HER--- husband told him thats not ever going to happen so difficult child told husband I don't have to listen to this and went back into the group home.
So next monday we are going to court for the truancy and hoping the judge can place him somewhere other than the home. husband feels that if difficult child comes home he is going to be 100 times worse than before.
husband and I had a session with difficult children therapist and I laid it all out and felt a sense of releif. I said I cannot and will not live here if difficult child comes home because there is nothing being done to deter him from his behavior especially that now he's getting involved with pot. We will have no control. So I guess we are hoping the judge will help but being realistic.
Thank you for listening to me rant..
