Sunday night phone call again with adult son sobbing.....(his girlfriend left him after a longterm relationship a few weeks ago due to him abusing alcohol and just turning into a different person) This is the 3rd Sunday night... I have no clue what to say anymore.. I have tried so now I just sit there and listen to him cry. He cries that he has no friends there (he moved to different state 2 years ago and never when out of his way to meet people because he had his girlfriend there). I offered suggestions as to how and where to meet friends. I found an organization that doesn't drug test but would like you to be sober... It is close to where he works and they work out or just socialize... Nope, he won't go because you are to be sober.... I suggested going to church... NOPE! So he calls tonight again crying telling me how nothing I say is working. I have told him to focus on himself and try to get healthier ( he is over 350lbs ) I felt that once he felt better about himself he would feel better as a whole... Cries and tells me that he has nothing to live for. The one he lived for hates him... His life is falling apart piece by piece.... I suggested again that he goes to rehab and takes 30 days to focus on himself... I get "I don't want to focus on myself! I don't care about myself. I only care about her and she hates me"... I told him if he doesn't care about himself and he talks like that who would want to be with him? I guess I should just keep my mouth shut but I am sick of it. I have said if nothing changes, nothing will change. I have offered to pay for a therapist... I get "talking will make it worse, he won't go" I think I will say if he says again that she hates him... "and why would she hate you? what did you do?" Unless, that is overstepping boundaries? I seriously don't have anything else I can say or offer. This is the life he wants I guess. Refusing anything I suggest. I told him I was going to call 911 and then he seemed to change a bit. If he doesn't care about helping himself, there isn't much I can do. Thanks for letting me vent. Its Mother's day and not even a Happy Mother's day from him but then again, why would I expect it ... I never get a Happy Birthday either. someone said at Alanon this week.... That their son shows no empathy for anyone because he doesn't care about himself so he can't care about anyone else?