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<blockquote data-quote="PennyFromTheBlock" data-source="post: 739499" data-attributes="member: 18271"><p>Thank you so much for all the encouragement. I do need to consistently stay here- it does help SO MUCH. </p><p></p><p>The catalyst for THIS feeling THIS time is - my gbabys mother continues to allow the baby to be around him on days NOT included in the court order because crazy as my son his, his son loves him fiercely. I was off today- and the baby hasn't felt good. I work out of town a lot, so last week I worked away from Sunday-Friday and this past weekend was HER weekend. So I had not seen him. My son had him last night. My daughter video called me so I could talk to the baby and I literally wanted to cry immediately. I didn't know they were going to have him. So I messaged her and said that I was off - just in case - I don't want my son to have him all day unsupervised. So she tells my son- and his response was "And? So am I and so is his mama". After all I've done and this cruelty? for what reason? </p><p></p><p>I don't know if he had a change of HEART or he didn't want to be bothered with him all day (my vote)- he brought him over here this morning. And we spent the day together. </p><p></p><p>My daughter- god bless her - needs to get there. she is miserable with him there and now that he has lost yet ANOTHER good job - she's almost there. He literally has nowhere else to go.</p><p></p><p>Several months ago he was without a place to stay. got a cheap hotel room, crying called his sister. HE has burnt every bridge. I researched the shelter here and he could have gone there for $2 a night for 30 days. Daughter even drove him by there at 'wait for the doors to open' time to SHOW him. It SEEMED to humble him. </p><p></p><p>I too find myself hating him- or maybe, hating who he has become- and man nothing makes a mother feel worse than even SAYING that word- hate- </p><p></p><p>My friends are optimistic- because they have no idea how horrible he really acts - "oh he'll grow up, you'll see". He screams and yells at me when he perceives a slight and how (as was said above) he is the way he is because of me, and what a horrible childhood he had. He ruins everything I plan and choose to include him in. My daughter and I took a mini-vacay the first week of august to the coast to take the baby. my son was not invited. he was really mad. doesn't understand that him there? no vacation for me! cooped up in a confined space with him for 4 days? NO THANK YOU.</p><p></p><p>I can't control this. I can't fix him. He chooses. He chooses. He chooses.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PennyFromTheBlock, post: 739499, member: 18271"] Thank you so much for all the encouragement. I do need to consistently stay here- it does help SO MUCH. The catalyst for THIS feeling THIS time is - my gbabys mother continues to allow the baby to be around him on days NOT included in the court order because crazy as my son his, his son loves him fiercely. I was off today- and the baby hasn't felt good. I work out of town a lot, so last week I worked away from Sunday-Friday and this past weekend was HER weekend. So I had not seen him. My son had him last night. My daughter video called me so I could talk to the baby and I literally wanted to cry immediately. I didn't know they were going to have him. So I messaged her and said that I was off - just in case - I don't want my son to have him all day unsupervised. So she tells my son- and his response was "And? So am I and so is his mama". After all I've done and this cruelty? for what reason? I don't know if he had a change of HEART or he didn't want to be bothered with him all day (my vote)- he brought him over here this morning. And we spent the day together. My daughter- god bless her - needs to get there. she is miserable with him there and now that he has lost yet ANOTHER good job - she's almost there. He literally has nowhere else to go. Several months ago he was without a place to stay. got a cheap hotel room, crying called his sister. HE has burnt every bridge. I researched the shelter here and he could have gone there for $2 a night for 30 days. Daughter even drove him by there at 'wait for the doors to open' time to SHOW him. It SEEMED to humble him. I too find myself hating him- or maybe, hating who he has become- and man nothing makes a mother feel worse than even SAYING that word- hate- My friends are optimistic- because they have no idea how horrible he really acts - "oh he'll grow up, you'll see". He screams and yells at me when he perceives a slight and how (as was said above) he is the way he is because of me, and what a horrible childhood he had. He ruins everything I plan and choose to include him in. My daughter and I took a mini-vacay the first week of august to the coast to take the baby. my son was not invited. he was really mad. doesn't understand that him there? no vacation for me! cooped up in a confined space with him for 4 days? NO THANK YOU. I can't control this. I can't fix him. He chooses. He chooses. He chooses. [/QUOTE]
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