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Just help me understand
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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 739577" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>In my first post on this site I too struggled with how and how much you help someone with mental disorder. Can they really always make a rational decision? Just like dementia there are gradations of mental illness. Some people can figure out they need help and I think with others their mental illness distorts reality so much they don't know they need help. When I found this forum I was so happy to get support from others with similar problems as those I have with my son. I have been trying to back off my monetary support of him for two reasons, one it has not seemed to help change his behavior and maybe even prolonged it and two I am so stressed all the time that I am always anxious and unhappy .I am hoping that cutting him off monetarily he will try some new behaviors. I have tried everything I can think of the last 11 years and his life is constantly a crisis. I physically can not live this way anymore.</p><p>I too feel embarrassed at times that I am placating him but the mother in me just wants him to be safe and I know that when he is homeless he is not safe. I dream of being rich so I can at least provide a place for him to live and food for him the rest of his life. But then I tell myself that I have done that for a year and he continued his behavior. Maybe he will never be able to support himself because of his mental illness/ possible drug use and the best I could ever do is to help him have a place to live and something to eat. I think everyone here just does the best we can. If we didn't love and want the best for our children we wouldn't be on this site.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 739577, member: 23328"] In my first post on this site I too struggled with how and how much you help someone with mental disorder. Can they really always make a rational decision? Just like dementia there are gradations of mental illness. Some people can figure out they need help and I think with others their mental illness distorts reality so much they don't know they need help. When I found this forum I was so happy to get support from others with similar problems as those I have with my son. I have been trying to back off my monetary support of him for two reasons, one it has not seemed to help change his behavior and maybe even prolonged it and two I am so stressed all the time that I am always anxious and unhappy .I am hoping that cutting him off monetarily he will try some new behaviors. I have tried everything I can think of the last 11 years and his life is constantly a crisis. I physically can not live this way anymore. I too feel embarrassed at times that I am placating him but the mother in me just wants him to be safe and I know that when he is homeless he is not safe. I dream of being rich so I can at least provide a place for him to live and food for him the rest of his life. But then I tell myself that I have done that for a year and he continued his behavior. Maybe he will never be able to support himself because of his mental illness/ possible drug use and the best I could ever do is to help him have a place to live and something to eat. I think everyone here just does the best we can. If we didn't love and want the best for our children we wouldn't be on this site. [/QUOTE]
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