Yesterday husband and I went over to my parents to return my mom's car. I had borrowed it to go to the city because our car was making a strange noise and I didn't want to drive around 170 miles in it. My dad had us go get breakfast from a local bakery, so we had a nice morning.
I was rather surprised that Wiz came and gave me a hug FOUR times while I was there. Over the last ten years or more I have had to ask for a hug and often he flat out said no. It meant the world to me, which you are likely the only people outside husband who can fully understand.
I mentioned it later while we were running an errand and husband told me something. It made me cry, but happy, amazed tears.
It seems that Wiz and husband had a conversation some months ago. Wiz said he was truly thankful that we fought so hard to teach him and make him learn social skills and to behave decently (not just good manners, but good values). if he had been with my parents since he was little, which they brought up a LOT over the years (pretty much any time Wiz had a problem or blow up or when my mom got lonely or depressed), he said he would be a total spoiled entitled awful person. He used those words to husband.
He told husband that he pretty much gets anything he wants from Gma and Gpa, but if he had been with them the entire time he would see nothing wrong with manipulating them constantly for whatever he wants. He knows he CAN manipulate them, but he makes a conscious choice to not manipulate them most of the time.
I was stunned when husband told me this. I have been afraid for at least ten years that he would hate me for the rest of his life. Terrified that he would not ever understand that we did the things we did so that he would grow up to be a good man, so that he would be able to form relationships and build his own family based on love and respect rather than on manipulation or not having meaningful relationships at all.
Knowing this means the absolute world to me. It is an incredible relief, a source of true joy for me. I don't think this would or even COULD happen without the support, love and help from everyone in this internet family.
I was rather surprised that Wiz came and gave me a hug FOUR times while I was there. Over the last ten years or more I have had to ask for a hug and often he flat out said no. It meant the world to me, which you are likely the only people outside husband who can fully understand.
I mentioned it later while we were running an errand and husband told me something. It made me cry, but happy, amazed tears.
It seems that Wiz and husband had a conversation some months ago. Wiz said he was truly thankful that we fought so hard to teach him and make him learn social skills and to behave decently (not just good manners, but good values). if he had been with my parents since he was little, which they brought up a LOT over the years (pretty much any time Wiz had a problem or blow up or when my mom got lonely or depressed), he said he would be a total spoiled entitled awful person. He used those words to husband.
He told husband that he pretty much gets anything he wants from Gma and Gpa, but if he had been with them the entire time he would see nothing wrong with manipulating them constantly for whatever he wants. He knows he CAN manipulate them, but he makes a conscious choice to not manipulate them most of the time.
I was stunned when husband told me this. I have been afraid for at least ten years that he would hate me for the rest of his life. Terrified that he would not ever understand that we did the things we did so that he would grow up to be a good man, so that he would be able to form relationships and build his own family based on love and respect rather than on manipulation or not having meaningful relationships at all.
Knowing this means the absolute world to me. It is an incredible relief, a source of true joy for me. I don't think this would or even COULD happen without the support, love and help from everyone in this internet family.