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Let it get to me

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by elizabrary, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    I haven't let my daughter's poor behavior get to me for a long time, but today was the day I fell into the hole. I arranged to go into work late because my granddaughter's class was presenting the stations of the cross this morning. My granddaughter was responsible for giving the message of one of the stations in church. I got there a little early and waited for my daughter to show up. Nope, all the school kids start filing in and I see my granddaughter's class, but no sign of her, so I text my daughter, "Where are you?" No reply. They start getting organized to begin the presentation and I start getting that horrible feeling in my stomach- I'm sure you've all had it at one time or another. So I go into the narthex and call her, no answer, so I just call repeatedly but she doesn't answer. I go back into the nave and my daughter texts me "I can't move any faster." So I text explaining there's no mass, just the stations of the cross so she doesn't have a lot of time because they are starting. She tells me my granddaughter is the sixth station so it will be fine. I start texting her as they finish each station. Just as the fourth one finishes I see my granddaughter come in. So she made it in time and did her station fine. But I was so upset and frustrated I was holding back tears. This was a special day for my granddaughter, but my daughter wasn't even able to make sure she arrived in a timely manner so she didn't have to be rushed and stressed when she got there. I saw my daughter but didn't see where she sat. After the stations we had silent prayer time and then were supposed to leave in silence. I took advantage of that and left without connecting with my daughter.

    Just as I pulled out of the church she called and I debated not answering because I was so upset, but I did. My daughter was all, "Where are you? Why didn't you wait for me?" I told her I needed to get to work and I was upset anyway. She failed to understand why I would be upset, then proceeded to tell me how upset SHE was and how it was an accident that she was late, blah, blah, blah. I told her, as I have many times, that she's the adult and she needs to be responsible for getting her daughter where she needs to be, etc. She yelled some more and hung up on me. She's so selfish. I worry so about my granddaughter because in my opinion my daughter is not the supportive, responsible, caring mother she deserves. And she's having another baby this summer when she's already overwhelmed by my granddaughter who is a super easy, high achieving kid. OK, rant over. I just needed to get this off my chest. I think I need some space this weekend so I will ignore any calls from her. These kids are exhausting.
     
  2. 200Meters

    200Meters A real bustard

    Have a quiet weekend.

    200Meters
     
  3. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    It's painful to watch a grandchild go through this. This is a common problem grandparents go through, and it seems to be more common than in the past. Some people don't have the skills to be parents. Grandparents always want to get custody to rescue these children and give them a proper upbringing, but so many complications arise--economics, physical exhaustion, drastic age difference, etc.

    I really hope things improve. Your granddaughter knows you love her, and it probably meant a lot to her that you were there today.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019
  4. 200Meters

    200Meters A real bustard

    How was your weekend?
     
  5. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    It's been great! My granddaughter called and came over Saturday and I took her home early this morning. It's been quiet and I have enjoyed it. Thanks for asking.
     
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