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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760488" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am sorry. Lots of kids of divorce do seem to want to know and see Dad even after we raised them alone and it doesn't seem fair.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately kids do have two parents and sometimes this breaks somebody's heart . If the children don't see Dad, they do think about him and want to know him. And we seem to get screwed because we did everything and some father's, nothing at all. Then when there is contact they do the Disneyland things.</p><p></p><p>I did read that Dad's and Moms are different when interacting with their kids, even if they are together. I see this in my intact home. I set the hard boundaries and my husband is the one who says "Hey. let's go camping! They can clean up later." So he was always the fun parent. I didn't mind...we were married. But this difference has been a problem for many of my friends.</p><p></p><p>As their kids get older, they want to see Dad and he's more "fun" etc. Kids do want to know and will judge both parents by the standards of their young minds.</p><p></p><p>I have an adopted daughter whose life has been shaped by two "parents" she has never met and can't find , although she tries. They are from a less developed country so she can't find them yet. She will never stop trying.</p><p></p><p>We have been the bad guys since we brought Kay into a home full of love. Still she yearns for her biological parents that she is sure would be perfect for her. I'm sure she would find a way to steal money to fly to see them if she could find them. Even though Mom gave her up. That seems unfair too. We have loved her to pieces. It doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>I have learned, through my daughter, that what I think should happen often does not and I have to accept it or die from pain. So since others need me I accept.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if this helped. I was searching for words and also to strongly tell you that life doesn't go how we wish all the time and to make sure you don't blame yourself. Maybe cut daughter a break too as she is young and this IS her dad and, no matter how angry it makes us, she loves him. Just like Kay literally worships a mother she never had.</p><p></p><p>It really stinks that life isn't fair. If God is in your life, give the situation to Him perhaps and try very hard to be happy even with this situation. We have no control over anyone but us. This includes even the minds of younger kids.</p><p></p><p>I pray your daughter sees the truth very soon. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760488, member: 23706"] I am sorry. Lots of kids of divorce do seem to want to know and see Dad even after we raised them alone and it doesn't seem fair. Unfortunately kids do have two parents and sometimes this breaks somebody's heart . If the children don't see Dad, they do think about him and want to know him. And we seem to get screwed because we did everything and some father's, nothing at all. Then when there is contact they do the Disneyland things. I did read that Dad's and Moms are different when interacting with their kids, even if they are together. I see this in my intact home. I set the hard boundaries and my husband is the one who says "Hey. let's go camping! They can clean up later." So he was always the fun parent. I didn't mind...we were married. But this difference has been a problem for many of my friends. As their kids get older, they want to see Dad and he's more "fun" etc. Kids do want to know and will judge both parents by the standards of their young minds. I have an adopted daughter whose life has been shaped by two "parents" she has never met and can't find , although she tries. They are from a less developed country so she can't find them yet. She will never stop trying. We have been the bad guys since we brought Kay into a home full of love. Still she yearns for her biological parents that she is sure would be perfect for her. I'm sure she would find a way to steal money to fly to see them if she could find them. Even though Mom gave her up. That seems unfair too. We have loved her to pieces. It doesn't matter. I have learned, through my daughter, that what I think should happen often does not and I have to accept it or die from pain. So since others need me I accept. I don't know if this helped. I was searching for words and also to strongly tell you that life doesn't go how we wish all the time and to make sure you don't blame yourself. Maybe cut daughter a break too as she is young and this IS her dad and, no matter how angry it makes us, she loves him. Just like Kay literally worships a mother she never had. It really stinks that life isn't fair. If God is in your life, give the situation to Him perhaps and try very hard to be happy even with this situation. We have no control over anyone but us. This includes even the minds of younger kids. I pray your daughter sees the truth very soon. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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